How To Get a Girl With a Boyfriend: A Real-Life Guide (W/ Examples)

How to get a girl with a boyfriend is a question that attracts a lot of moralization.

We will avoid that topic on topic and focus on actual strategies.

By the end of it, you will know exactly what you need to do to get girls with a boyfriend.

Please use this information cautiously.

Easy Girls With Boyfriends

Sometimes getting a girl with a boyfriend is a piece of cake and you don’t need a guide.

These easy situations include:

  • She’s an inveterate cheater
  • The two of them have an open relationship
  • She was drunk (and used to cheat)
  • The two of them are just about to break up
  • She is looking for a revenge lay

… And you happen to be a cool guy she likes.

In some of the above situations, the fact she has a boyfriend actually makes everything easier.
But, on average, it’s not going to be easier.

And the article is focused on getting girls with a boyfriend when they are still together and committed.

How to Get a Girl With a Boyfriend

There are three main ways of sleeping with a girl with a boyfriend:

  1. Close friend who slowly takes over
  2. Guy in the periphery who strikes when it’s hot
  3. Random guy, she’ll never meet again who happens to be the right person at the right time

The third doesn’t concern us or you wouldn’t be reading here.
The first two styles do present some overlap, but they also present some major differences.

Here we will focus mostly on the guy who sleeps with girls with a boyfriend while staying in the periphery.
That’s where I have the most experience.
And now let’s start:

#1. Stir Doubts

As you keep being your normal cool self, stir doubts about her relationship.

Ask questions that sow the seed of doubt while making you look better.
For example:

Does it bother you he’s younger?

Was it an issue for you, that you’ve got a master and he doesn’t?

In some relationships it can be an issue he’s making less money. How is it for you…

As soon as you sniff an issue, stop the questions or they’ll arouse suspicion.

If she starts complaining, listen.
Otherwise, just focus on looking like a great catch and standing out by comparison.

On average, relationships tend to grow dull and boring.

So you can gain from positioning yourself as a breath of fresh air.

Say relationships for you are about growing together, sharing adventures, mutual support, and traveling to faraway lands… Make it sound amazing and hardly matchable by reality (doesn’t matter if you actually watch football most nights).

Then go suddenly deep.
Ask point blank:

Have you ever been deeply, passionately in love?

Most women will bulk at the love question, and that’s exactly what you want.
You want her to think “no I haven’t” or even better.. “no I’m not”.

how to text a girl with a boyfriend
Bingo 🙂

Of course, exceptions apply.
If her boyfriend is a thrill seeker and she wants more stability, then be the stable guy.

When She Complains About Boyfriends

If she complains about her woes, all the better.

Gottman, famed relationship researcher, says friendships turn into affairs when she complains about her relationship (The Man’s Guide to Women).

Be interested, but not predatory-interested. Say you’re sorry, but without being too affected.

If she’s getting emotional about her boyfriend, get a bit closer to her, but never white knight her with “poor you”. Avoid saying you would treat her better at this early stage.
Put a hand on her back, a slight rubbing of her upper arm.

Overall make your presence felt by staying calm and collected, a rock in the storm of life.

#2. Add Fuel to The Fire

Whatever she complains about, expand on it.

But don’t just agree with her.  That’s weak. Let her flesh it out instead of asking questions and listening.

The more she talks about the negatives about her boyfriend, the more her boyfriend will seem like a bad deal.

Contribute your own if you can add good insights.
If you cannot, you can always describe her situation with words that seem deep and specific, but which are actually highly genetic platitudes.

For example, tell her people to stay “stuck” because changing is scary. You want her to agree with you here.

texting married girls

Soon after, you will start setting yourself up as the man with better alternatives.

#3. Never Undermine Boyfriends

If you undermine her boyfriend you’re communicating that you want to replace him.

That’s petty and, most of all, it makes her the prize and you the chaser.

And if that weren’t enough, you become dull and rational.
Now she must weigh his pros against yours, and you’ve just moved from an emotional, carnal realm, into a rational one.

Too direct criticism of the current boyfriend almost always leads women to push back against you.
Avoid it!

#4. But Do Undermine Him Indirectly

While you say nothing bad about his boyfriend, and may sometimes even slightly defend him, you ACT the opposite of his shortcomings.

Is he poor?
Throw some money around.

Is he boring?
Show a wild, exciting side.

Is he a stay-at-home cat?
You’re a tomcat.

how to sleep with girls with a boyfriend

Do you’re taking action and let her confirm with words.

#5. Don’t Chase

You never wanna chase, but even less so when you want to get girls with a boyfriend.

When you chase and compete, most of the time you lose. She’s got a history with him and she’s still sleeping with him.
While there you are, expanding efforts to woo her without anything in return.
Of course, the boyfriend looks better off.

Girls with a boyfriend, stay distant and aloof for a while before going for an actual invite.

how to text a girl with a boyfriend

#6. Stay Mysteriously Away

There are two strategies here depending on the gradient of closeness you have with her:

  • Be a Distant Friend…

Be somewhat of a friend.

Don’t be available at all times, but meet her every once in a while.
Say hi through friends in common, grab a coffee or lunch, or go for a few drinks.

This is best for girls with boyfriends whom you are already friends with or whom you otherwise often meet.
It’s also best if you haven’t done an open move yet.
Read more on the friend role VS lover.

  • … While At The Same Time Rejecting The Friend’s Role

This option is high-risk high returns.

And as Casanova said, love is not a place for risk avoiders.
This is perfect for women who are not part of your social circles and when you’ve made a move. It’s perfect if you made a great impression and she was horny.

It’s very binary, but chances are she’ll be thinking about you and if cracks appear in her relationship you’ll be the first option.

One of my successes to sleep with a girl with a boyfriend, and one of the girls who chased me the most, came up with this strategy.

How to Reject The Friend Zone

When she told me we could be friends I told her it wouldn’t work.

Then I explained that “yeah, we could be friends”, but my way of being friends.
Such as that if I saw her again, I would do exactly what I had just done (ie.: move towards sex with her).

She complained and got emotional. Exactly what I wanted. And I stayed firm but very calm:

No, you can of course refuse at any time, but if we meet again, I’ll do exactly the same.

I could see she was horny and could have probably made it happen with a bolder push.
But I didn’t want to cause trouble.
But one month later:

#7. But Show Signs of Interest

I know, it might sound contradictory to show interest without chasing.

But you have to be able to walk that line.

Without chasing, you do need to let her know there’s interest on your side. What you’re going for is a mutual understanding of common liking.
You both know it, but the only issue is the boyfriend.

It’s that tacit agreement you want to get going to eventually get a girl with a boyfriend to come to you. You’ll be her first option as soon as she ends things -which might end quicker thanks to you-.

Because if on the other hand, you never show signs of interest, she’ll never really consider you.
And that’s not good.

Women rarely make the first step and you wouldn’t want her to go through a tough period or even break up and NOT be thinking of you. You want her to think about you both romantically and sexually.

In this example, I was giving her the chance to open up, which shows a bit of interest from my side, and was moving toward a possible date.

how to text a girl who has a boyfriend

I didn’t pull the trigger on the date though. I had chased her a tad bit in the past so I hit with two dismissive statements to rebalance.
Also, I wanted something more from her.
I’m busy, and spending time in a pretentious-sounding cafe’ with sexually confused metrosexuals is not my definition of fun (and trust me, those are the kind of trendy places here :).

IF you’re in a similar situation though, do the following:

  1. Check online reviews of that place
  2. Comment on “what you heard from friends about it”
  3. Vibe back with her
  4. Inviting her there if she doesn’t do so herself

Have you noticed what’s point 2?
Why isn’t she going there with her boyfriend?
It’s possibly because he’s not the kind of guy to explore new places. Or not the artistic kind of guy.
That’s your occasion to show the opposite face.

#8. Concoct “Destiny” Meetings 

Jack Schafer in The Like Switch talks about seduction from a spy point of view.

Part of the secret formula, he says, is proximity and frequency.
If you can manage to stay top of mind indeed, it’s all golden. Especially if you can do so with “random meetings”. Anything that seems spontaneous or “destiny”.

But of course, it’s the appearance of destiny.
Otherwise, fu*k destiny, you make your destiny.

If she works in a cafe, stop by there with a friend. Maybe a pretty friend. Girls do notice.

The girl from the FB message, for example, I saw her walking on the other side of the street a week or so after our “friends date”. So I ran backward, then crossed the street and pretended to just be running into her.

It wasn’t an accident either that I saw her.
We walked every day on that street in opposite directions and I kept my eyes very open.

#9. The Bold Move

You will build up to you two becoming lovers almost naturally with these kinds of slower seductions.

She will develop feelings for you and things will naturally lead there.

Otherwise, when you realize her relationship is about the end, invite her over to cook something and drink a bottle of wine.
Put on a nice music list and then one thing will lead to another.

#10. Choose: Quick Lover or Slow Burn

Finally, you must choose.

If you two are having great chemistry and the tension is high from the very beginning, you probably gotta close this quickly.

Because if she has any morals, she will be feeling guilty once she’s far from you and then you’re toast.

It happened to me.
I committed the mistake of letting great chemistry and strong sexual tension dissipate without consuming our passion, and we never got together:

example of a failure to sleep with a married woman

So if:

  • You’re outside of her social circle
  • Sexual tension is high
  • You just met her randomly and won’t “naturally” see her again…

Then you better sleep with her quickly (if she cares at all about being faithful).

If you see her often and you’re in her social circle you can use the above steps instead, and you will likely have more than one chance.

Ethics of Girls With a Boyfriend

Guys, I have to admit.

I was looking for some old messages to write this article (but some not so old *cough* *cough*) and I just had to laugh at some of the crap I spewed.

Then I moved to collect the pics from Facebook… And I laughed no more. I was reminded of what happened, and it wasn’t that fun anymore.

In that case, she didn’t just have a boyfriend, she had a husband. A husband whom she divorced a little later after we met.
Then the two of us got into a relationship… For a while.

For me, it was one of the best “serious” relationships I’ve ever had.
But she was looking for a much longer term and my version of “serious” and “long term” wasn’t nearly “serious” or long enough for her. And it turned out to be her biggest heartbreak.

Her last email told me in no uncertain terms how she felt after our “great” relationship:

failed relationship with a time waster

I still have pangs of guilt to assail me.
This remains one of the biggest, most shameful stains of my life.

And the fact that she’s now back with her ex-husband -the same she divorced partially because of me- makes me think that things weren’t nearly as bad between them.

As you can see, seducing women who have a boyfriend is an emotionally dangerous game.

And I don’t want my material here to be used for evil purposes which increase the pain in this world.

So I re-iterate to use these strategies in the following two scenarios:

  1. You DO want a long-term relationship (doesn’t mean you guarantee success of course)
  2. If you’re not after a LTR You DO make it clear that you’re not after LTR


When she is in a committed relationship, dig up dirt.

Present yourself as the new and exciting man.
Show new possibilities, an artistic streak, anything that will look fascinating from the oppressing boredom of her current relationship.

Specifically, take up traits and characteristics that her boyfriend doesn’t have. A gym rat? Be the artistic man with a gift of gab.
Artistic wimpy boyfriend? Be the mannish man.

Grow in her life as you make her relationship look worse and worse.
Then when the tide is reaching the tipping point… Slay.

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