Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
My Journey to Power
Thank you for asking!
Going through PU again is increasing my power and social dynamics awareness.
I’m back to working on becoming consciously competent.
For instance I hear 2 guys talking: this guy is tasking this guy, this guy accept the dominance but power protects. These guy is envious of this guy for being an artist. He’s covertly one-upping him. He thread expands on his friend not being able to find a job later on. The artist makes excuses by saying that this market is for insider only. He thread expands on it. He’s saying he might leave Switzerland for Portugal. The friend is happy that this guy won’t be in competition with him anymore.
It might sound a lot of guesswork and I might be wrong. This example is also taking into account the emotional vocal and body language and the content of the conversation.
All that to say that it’s both helpful and a bit scary to go deeper in this stuff. It’s a period as it always is. Then it will become unconscious.
Quote from John Freeman on July 24, 2023, 12:13 pmFor instance I hear 2 guys talking: this guy is tasking this guy, this guy accept the dominance but power protects. These guy is envious of this guy for being an artist. He’s covertly one-upping him. He thread expands on his friend not being able to find a job later on. The artist makes excuses by saying that this market is for insider only. He thread expands on it. He’s saying he might leave Switzerland for Portugal. The friend is happy that this guy won’t be in competition with him anymore.
Welcome to the human zoo,
where you get to entertain yourself with the human animal games, power moves, hidden motives, shifting alliances and competitions, and endless manipulations :).
Hahahaha. This one got me good!
In these moments I’m also wondering: if I was not aware of this before then what am I not aware of today? Must be an ocean of things. Well, human condition…
Listening to the "blank slate" now. At the beginning. Mind already blown like for the "selfish gene" or "evolution of desire".
Current new idea: I'm a slave to my brain. This helps me to understand my challenges in changing certain habits. This helps me to think abou strategies to go around my brain's needs and nudges to give it what it wants in a way that is beneficial to both of us.
Another idea that I thought previously but got confirmed: we are different because we have different brains (among other things). So having a very active brain is the hardware, one must find the way to use it properly without self-harm/self-destruction as we are not given the manual of it. Bits and pieces of it are out there though.
Reflection in progress.
I finally found the answer. It's "Drive". That is what I lost.
Of course, I'm still driven. However the "rage" I was talking about that I had and lost was actually "drive". Due to the comfort I acquired, albeit modest, it lowered my drive to achieve more. So in addition to self-respect (thanks Clarkz123), I will work on my drive.
A small note: I ended up having more off-time than I thought I would have in the first place. So I can participate here more than I thought. I wanted to let you guys know since I got heartwarming messages from you. For now I have enough days off in a row and I'm not too tired. I thought I was going to go monk mode with this new job but it seems it's not the case for the moment.
Hello,
To me you're a surgeon
We were having lunch with the gynecologists (who are surgeons) and one of them told me:
Me: "With my personality, I would not be a great if in a surgeon's team."
Her: "To me you're not a pediatrician, you're a surgeon"
Me: "I take it as a compliment. Actually I like to work with surgeons they're ..."
This is a power move:
She's putting way above me by knowing what I've "made for" like she knows better than me who I am. I kind of called it upon me since I implied that I have a normal personality and could not be a surgeon (very toxic work environment 90% of the time, too competitive, with a lot of manipulators/takers).
What I did was to reframe it in the positive. However, when I did that I social climbed on other pediatricians (sitting at the table as well) as I implied that surgeons were better than pediatricians. So I put myself in the top group with the gynecologist clumsily, not my intention. As surgeon is higher status than pediatrician.
So not the worst but not good either. I actually should have surface it.
Me: "With my personality, I would not be a great if in a surgeon's team."
Her: "To me you're not a pediatrician, you're a surgeon"
Me: "What makes you say that?"
She's implying something that is not clear. So asking what she's implying is socially ok in this situation.
Or you could say:
You: "With my personality, I would not be a great if in a surgeon's team."
Her: "To me you're not a pediatrician, you're a surgeon"
You: "We disagree on that. Anyways..."
That way you maintain your frame and show she's just playing petty moves.
It's great, I'll experiment with it. Thanks Bel.
