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My Journey to Power

#321 · July 13, 2023, 6:24 pm

Thank you for your answer!

#322 · July 15, 2023, 8:20 am

Quote from John Freeman on July 15, 2023, 8:20 am
Hello,
I'm aware I'm writing a lot of "I want to change my life" stuff and it can seem like all talk. The truth is that I'm struggling inside on what to do next. I thought that the best option is to start applying to hospitals abroad and go where people will hire me. Comparing all the advantages and disadvantages does not really help me to decide as there are always pros and cons and no pros nor cons is really helping me to make a decision. So I need more action. I need to start applying abroad or I'll feel this sensation of feeling stuck.
After listening to good strategy, bad strategy, I'm working on finding a new strategy for my life. Basically currently I feel lonely, without direction, bored and I'm not satisfied with my life. It can seem contradictory with things I wrote before: I have a stable job in a nice team, I have an apartment with a view on the trees, I have friends, my family is not far from me. But it's an inside feeling like I'm missing something. I accomodated Switzerland, meaning that I appreciate the luck I have to live here, however something is still missing and I'm struggling. For instance, I like my friends and we laugh a bit but I feel like I want to meet new friends. I like rock climbing but I don't love it. So all of this is not about complaining, it's sincerely my process for finding a solution out of this feeling of being stuck. So it's brainstorming here.
I think I need also to be surrounded more with people like here who can think and talk about everything without preconceptions, free thinkers. I think that I miss that: to be around people with whom I can think and explore. I also feel that I expanded my mind and where I live used to feel like a big city but now it feel like a small city. So I also feel this curse of self-development: once our mind expands we feel like a big fish in a small pond. I mean mentally not status, skills or income wise. There are very few people I feel they understand me. Actually I think the person who understands me the best is my psychologist which is a bit sad. It's his job yes, but that also explains the feeling of loneliness also the curse of gifted people due a different way of thinking/functioning. I used to travel around to escape the feeling of mundane that I feel here, that might be an option as well. But if I have to travel every week-end, then it starts to look like an escape and that's also why I toned it down. That's what one of my friend is doing actually. It's also expensive.
Note: at first I wanted only to post the diagnoses below and I find myself writing more than expected
Diagnosis: I feel lonely
Possibilities : look for a housesharing, meet a girl, expand my social circle
Obstacles : a housesharing would make me lose autonomy, there are few women that are either attractive or within my reach where I live
Possibles solutions : change city, change country, start an activity in a club, meet new (more interesting) people
Strategies : apply for position in hospitals abroad, look for an activity in a club (brazilian jiu-jitsu?)
Diagnosis : I lack direction in my life
Possibilities : choose pediatric emergency and stick with it
Obstacles : night shifts, week-end shifts, stressing, tiring
Possible solutions : work part time
Strategies : apply to the emergency department in Geneva
Diagnosis : I feel bored (in Switzerland)
Possibilities : find activities that I can do in a group, start again playing music in a band
Obstacles : schedule not much compatible with having regular activities
Strategies : consider brazilian jiu-jitsu
Diagnosis : I'm not satisfied with my life
Possibilities : I'm not satisfied with the efforts I'm making, of not having a romantic relationship
Obstacles : conformist mentality where I live (little creativity, little fantasy)
Strategies : spend 1-2 years in a country who's less conformists, look for a city with more artists.
So after this brainstorming I feel like I need new friends, new activities. I also feel like my favourite environments are cities with lots of nature and artists, the weather I like is even weather (20-25°C) most of the year. I also like the rain, rivers, lakes and oceans. Water in general. I'm not considering the USA because of the craziness (too many guns around, too much brainwashing and manipulation from corporations/state). I like blond and redhead women. I like open-minded, respectful, authentic, positive and educated people.
As I said above, this is a big general brainstorming.
I'm happy to have any input on it of course. If you feel like you already gave me input that's fine. As I said I feel like I will only be able to get out of this through action.
I'm also thinking: I do rock climbing because my friend do it but what I really want to do is brazilian jiu-jitsu. So maybe since I got my friends I also did what they wanted to do. Like right now alcohol does not appeal to me that much anymore. I feel more like doing sports and living a healthy lifestyle. I love alcohol I just don't fell like doing it as often. I also don't feel like seeing my friends so often. I feel like there's nothing new to them that it's all been said. They're not so much about exploring and learning than enjoying their lives (and getting more stuff for one of them) which is fine and something I learned from them. I feel like they don't understand me that much despite me having opened up to them.
I'm searching hard my way and I know I will find it.

Hello,

I'm aware I'm writing a lot of "I want to change my life" stuff and it can seem like all talk. The truth is that I'm struggling inside on what to do next. I thought that the best option is to start applying to hospitals abroad and go where people will hire me. Comparing all the advantages and disadvantages does not really help me to decide as there are always pros and cons and no pros nor cons is really helping me to make a decision. So I need more action. I need to start applying abroad or I'll feel this sensation of feeling stuck.

After listening to good strategy, bad strategy, I'm working on finding a new strategy for my life. Basically currently I feel lonely, without direction, bored and I'm not satisfied with my life. It can seem contradictory with things I wrote before: I have a stable job in a nice team, I have an apartment with a view on the trees, I have friends, my family is not far from me. But it's an inside feeling like I'm missing something. I accomodated Switzerland, meaning that I appreciate the luck I have to live here, however something is still missing and I'm struggling. For instance, I like my friends and we laugh a bit but I feel like I want to meet new friends. I like rock climbing but I don't love it. So all of this is not about complaining, it's sincerely my process for finding a solution out of this feeling of being stuck. So it's brainstorming here.

I think I need also to be surrounded more with people like here who can think and talk about everything without preconceptions, free thinkers. I think that I miss that: to be around people with whom I can think and explore. I also feel that I expanded my mind and where I live used to feel like a big city but now it feel like a small city. So I also feel this curse of self-development: once our mind expands we feel like a big fish in a small pond. I mean mentally not status, skills or income wise. There are very few people I feel they understand me. Actually I think the person who understands me the best is my psychologist which is a bit sad. It's his job yes, but that also explains the feeling of loneliness also the curse of gifted people due a different way of thinking/functioning. I used to travel around to escape the feeling of mundane that I feel here, that might be an option as well. But if I have to travel every week-end, then it starts to look like an escape and that's also why I toned it down. That's what one of my friend is doing actually. It's also expensive.

Note: at first I wanted only to post the diagnoses below and I find myself writing more than expected

Diagnosis: I feel lonely
Possibilities : look for a housesharing, meet a girl, expand my social circle
Obstacles : a housesharing would make me lose autonomy, there are few women that are either attractive or within my reach where I live
Possibles solutions : change city, change country, start an activity in a club, meet new (more interesting) people
Strategies : apply for position in hospitals abroad, look for an activity in a club (brazilian jiu-jitsu?)

Diagnosis : I lack direction in my life
Possibilities : choose pediatric emergency and stick with it
Obstacles : night shifts, week-end shifts, stressing, tiring
Possible solutions : work part time
Strategies : apply to the emergency department in Geneva

Diagnosis : I feel bored (in Switzerland)
Possibilities : find activities that I can do in a group, start again playing music in a band
Obstacles : schedule not much compatible with having regular activities
Strategies : consider brazilian jiu-jitsu

Diagnosis : I'm not satisfied with my life
Possibilities : I'm not satisfied with the efforts I'm making, of not having a romantic relationship
Obstacles : conformist mentality where I live (little creativity, little fantasy)
Strategies : spend 1-2 years in a country who's less conformists, look for a city with more artists.

So after this brainstorming I feel like I need new friends, new activities. I also feel like my favourite environments are cities with lots of nature and artists, the weather I like is even weather (20-25°C) most of the year. I also like the rain, rivers, lakes and oceans. Water in general. I'm not considering the USA because of the craziness (too many guns around, too much brainwashing and manipulation from corporations/state). I like blond and redhead women. I like open-minded, respectful, authentic, positive and educated people.

As I said above, this is a big general brainstorming.

I'm happy to have any input on it of course. If you feel like you already gave me input that's fine. As I said I feel like I will only be able to get out of this through action.

I'm also thinking: I do rock climbing because my friend do it but what I really want to do is brazilian jiu-jitsu. So maybe since I got my friends I also did what they wanted to do. Like right now alcohol does not appeal to me that much anymore. I feel more like doing sports and living a healthy lifestyle. I love alcohol I just don't fell like doing it as often. I also don't feel like seeing my friends so often. I feel like there's nothing new to them that it's all been said. They're not so much about exploring and learning than enjoying their lives (and getting more stuff for one of them) which is fine and something I learned from them. I feel like they don't understand me that much despite me having opened up to them.

I'm searching hard my way and I know I will find it.

Transitioned has reacted to this post.

#323 · July 15, 2023, 1:39 pm

Quote from Gguwad on July 15, 2023, 1:39 pm
I think happiness is not to be found out there, in a different country, in a different place. It's nice to see new things, get to see a new scenery, live in a nicer place, with a better weather, with good people, but ultimately, those things won't change a thing about your happiness.
Of course that's exaggeration, if you are in abusive place, with people that drive you crazy, with friends that disempower you all the time, it's better to change something outside of yourself, but, if you have overall good life, nothing but nuisainces here and there, then that's how far it goes with changing one's happiness.
After that, the place, friends, food, comfort of living, weather, work, it doesn't matter, whatever new thing one has, they will get used to it, dopamine levels will stabilize, there's no such thing as having a bliss forever, there's always something you lack, that you want more.
The solution is to accept it, the life with it's pain and pleasure, it's ups and downs, and to accept it you need to find the thing you truly want to do.
And this is a tough and tricky process, but you need to ask questions like never before. Question everything, why I want to be good? Why I want to help others? Why do I want to win? Why do I like this? What do I find sensible about this? Why I follow that? Go deeper and deeper until there's no more ifs, only you at the bottom of rabbit hole remain. Thing that makes you, you.
When I went down and down on this line of questioning and returned to it couple of times, the thing that remained at the end was "greatness". That's the word that fits best with my feelings, to achieve it all, to be it all, something along the lines. Many illusions about myself disappeared when I found the answer, I understand I don't want to be good, to be fair, to be just, to help others. Those and many other things I didn't list are all only means to an end to the feeling I have that's bonded with the word "greatness". So that's what I am after.

I think happiness is not to be found out there, in a different country, in a different place. It's nice to see new things, get to see a new scenery, live in a nicer place, with a better weather, with good people, but ultimately, those things won't change a thing about your happiness.

Of course that's exaggeration, if you are in abusive place, with people that drive you crazy, with friends that disempower you all the time, it's better to change something outside of yourself, but, if you have overall good life, nothing but nuisainces here and there, then that's how far it goes with changing one's happiness.

After that, the place, friends, food, comfort of living, weather, work, it doesn't matter, whatever new thing one has, they will get used to it, dopamine levels will stabilize, there's no such thing as having a bliss forever, there's always something you lack, that you want more.

The solution is to accept it, the life with it's pain and pleasure, it's ups and downs, and to accept it you need to find the thing you truly want to do.
And this is a tough and tricky process, but you need to ask questions like never before. Question everything, why I want to be good? Why I want to help others? Why do I want to win? Why do I like this? What do I find sensible about this? Why I follow that? Go deeper and deeper until there's no more ifs, only you at the bottom of rabbit hole remain. Thing that makes you, you.

When I went down and down on this line of questioning and returned to it couple of times, the thing that remained at the end was "greatness". That's the word that fits best with my feelings, to achieve it all, to be it all, something along the lines. Many illusions about myself disappeared when I found the answer, I understand I don't want to be good, to be fair, to be just, to help others. Those and many other things I didn't list are all only means to an end to the feeling I have that's bonded with the word "greatness". So that's what I am after.

Lucio Buffalmano, John Freeman and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#324 · July 18, 2023, 6:27 pm

Quote from John Freeman on July 18, 2023, 6:27 pm
Hello DGX37,
thank you for your answer!
Quote from DGX37 on July 15, 2023, 1:39 pm
I think happiness is not to be found out there, in a different country, in a different place. It's nice to see new things, get to see a new scenery, live in a nicer place, with a better weather, with good people, but ultimately, those things won't change a thing about your happiness.
Of course that's exaggeration, if you are in abusive place, with people that drive you crazy, with friends that disempower you all the time, it's better to change something outside of yourself, but, if you have overall good life, nothing but nuisainces here and there, then that's how far it goes with changing one's happiness.
After that, the place, friends, food, comfort of living, weather, work, it doesn't matter, whatever new thing one has, they will get used to it, dopamine levels will stabilize, there's no such thing as having a bliss forever, there's always something you lack, that you want more.
I agree that looking for things outside of ourselves can be a trap. There's pleasure to be found in small things. To me, some people like the cold and would suffer being in a warm place. Some people are loners and don't like being in an environment where it's party party all the time. So I agree with you that yes we must find happiness within (which I would think of as "contentment", this sense of inner peace) first. To be honest, I think environment plays a role too, maybe we have a different view on this and it's alright. We're here to exchange ideas.
The solution is to accept it, the life with it's pain and pleasure, it's ups and downs, and to accept it you need to find the thing you truly want to do.
And this is a tough and tricky process, but you need to ask questions like never before. Question everything, why I want to be good? Why I want to help others? Why do I want to win? Why do I like this? What do I find sensible about this? Why I follow that? Go deeper and deeper until there's no more ifs, only you at the bottom of rabbit hole remain. Thing that makes you, you.
I totally agree with you about accepting life as it is with ups and downs. My current feeling (and I'm working on it) is a sense of dullness. I know my mission. I've introspected about it. What I found is that it's not enough for me. The sense of meaning also comes from things outside of my mission. That's what I'm looking for. Also my friends are nice people, I just don't feel that alive around some of them anymore as I feel I've changed. Here as well, I might be wrong. That is why I'm on this quest. So asking oneself questions is a great way to find those answers, thanks!
When I went down and down on this line of questioning and returned to it couple of times, the thing that remained at the end was "greatness". That's the word that fits best with my feelings, to achieve it all, to be it all, something along the lines. Many illusions about myself disappeared when I found the answer, I understand I don't want to be good, to be fair, to be just, to help others. Those and many other things I didn't list are all only means to an end to the feeling I have that's bonded with the word "greatness". So that's what I am after.
Thanks for sharing!
So all in all, I thank you very much for your message. It's helpful for me and made me think!

Hello DGX37,

thank you for your answer!

Quote from DGX37 on July 15, 2023, 1:39 pm
I think happiness is not to be found out there, in a different country, in a different place. It's nice to see new things, get to see a new scenery, live in a nicer place, with a better weather, with good people, but ultimately, those things won't change a thing about your happiness.
Of course that's exaggeration, if you are in abusive place, with people that drive you crazy, with friends that disempower you all the time, it's better to change something outside of yourself, but, if you have overall good life, nothing but nuisainces here and there, then that's how far it goes with changing one's happiness.
After that, the place, friends, food, comfort of living, weather, work, it doesn't matter, whatever new thing one has, they will get used to it, dopamine levels will stabilize, there's no such thing as having a bliss forever, there's always something you lack, that you want more.

I agree that looking for things outside of ourselves can be a trap. There's pleasure to be found in small things. To me, some people like the cold and would suffer being in a warm place. Some people are loners and don't like being in an environment where it's party party all the time. So I agree with you that yes we must find happiness within (which I would think of as "contentment", this sense of inner peace) first. To be honest, I think environment plays a role too, maybe we have a different view on this and it's alright. We're here to exchange ideas.

The solution is to accept it, the life with it's pain and pleasure, it's ups and downs, and to accept it you need to find the thing you truly want to do.
And this is a tough and tricky process, but you need to ask questions like never before. Question everything, why I want to be good? Why I want to help others? Why do I want to win? Why do I like this? What do I find sensible about this? Why I follow that? Go deeper and deeper until there's no more ifs, only you at the bottom of rabbit hole remain. Thing that makes you, you.

I totally agree with you about accepting life as it is with ups and downs. My current feeling (and I'm working on it) is a sense of dullness. I know my mission. I've introspected about it. What I found is that it's not enough for me. The sense of meaning also comes from things outside of my mission. That's what I'm looking for. Also my friends are nice people, I just don't feel that alive around some of them anymore as I feel I've changed. Here as well, I might be wrong. That is why I'm on this quest. So asking oneself questions is a great way to find those answers, thanks!

When I went down and down on this line of questioning and returned to it couple of times, the thing that remained at the end was "greatness". That's the word that fits best with my feelings, to achieve it all, to be it all, something along the lines. Many illusions about myself disappeared when I found the answer, I understand I don't want to be good, to be fair, to be just, to help others. Those and many other things I didn't list are all only means to an end to the feeling I have that's bonded with the word "greatness". So that's what I am after.

Thanks for sharing!

So all in all, I thank you very much for your message. It's helpful for me and made me think!

Power Duck has reacted to this post.

#325 · July 20, 2023, 7:56 pm

Hello,

I thought about something today: I’ve been too nice with social climbers.

I realized that at work for instance social climbing not only pushes you down and lifts the climber up in terms of social status. It is a dominant behaviour. It is being dominated by someone else and this contains a component of agression.

I’m aware I’m still sometimes guilty of it here and IRL and I’m working on it. That’s also why I’m much more careful and power-protect more generally speaking since I learned about this concept here some time ago. It is out of respect.

Respect has a personal component: to take into account the other’s preferences, needs and feelings for instance.

Respect has also a social component: to interact in a way that leaves the other person’s social status intact (or uplift it).

So disrespect in the social sense is an attack on someone else’s social status. It is destroying or stealing someone else’s status. Like money or any other commodity, status requires work (=effort) to be accumulated.

So just like we don’t let someone steal our money, possessions, or time I think now more than before that it is as important not let someone steal our social status.

In the book “social status” the author says that status is an infinite resource and I agree. It is a negotiation between people. But this is not an excuse.

So now I think I have a new appreciation for social status and the effort it requires to attain. I don’t think we must defend it at all costs as there are situations and/or value that have more worth in several situations. However in many situations it is worth defending as hard as possible.

Just like money: getting mugged at gun point our wallet is not worth defending. The cashier at the supermarket overcharges us by mistake and we see it: worth defending.

I’m happy to know your thoughts on this topic.

Mats G has reacted to this post.

#326 · July 20, 2023, 8:36 pm

Correction: the book “the status game”

#327 · July 22, 2023, 5:36 pm

Quote from John Freeman on July 22, 2023, 5:36 pm
Follow up on my current project to improve my personal life. More for self-reflection and documentation but feel free to comment of course.
Diagnosis: risk of only working and loneliness, feelings of boredom.
I’m currently at the lakeshore. The sun is shiny. I’m going to go for a swim. What I realized is that in order to work hard on my projects and plans (new car, applying for my next job, etc.) I need a break after a string of working days. That’s when I need to relax. I went to the gym this morning. Going to the gym 3 times a week and rock climbing once a week is becoming a habit. It has a positive effect on my mood.
So after a string of working days I will take a full day off. I will still do things like laundry, hairdresser, running errands, shopping but I will plan something to chill/have fun. It’s been a challenge for me to do so as I’m feeling I’m not moving forward enough. However I feel tired on Saturdays for instance so I end up running errands, napping and watching YouTube/Rick Morty. I don’t study and don’t move forward on my projects. So basically I used to waste a lot of time. My presence at the lake is in the direction of stopping to waste my days off. At least I’m taking advantage of the lake.
Some friends went with their paddle boards on the beach next to me but I rather stay alone. I noticed that I forced myself to be social whether I felt like it or not. It was good as I could do the river, camping thing and it was good. However I feel like I must follow what I want to do while challenging myself.
I realized I must do stuff that I enjoy. Go to places that I enjoy. See friends that I enjoy. It’s basic but this is what I feel like changing.
I’m also working of changing/incorporating in my identity to be a sports guy. So now I spend more time with the sports people. My French friends and my Romanian friend. I also re-connected with another Swiss friend.
I also see that I lost a bit of my enthusiasm for life. So this is the desire for exploration and novelty.
I lived 20 years in this town and actually never really liked the mentality so that’s also something I can control. Maybe not move as there are things to do and the lake but leave during the weekends. I like better the mentality of the city where my sister is living so that’s a good opportunity to see them as well.
I also realized that my French friends know the region better than I do since they work less than me and have the expat perspective: “let’s explore and have fun”. So I also feel like knowing better my country. The paradox is that since they live in a house sharing they have a group. The one I created is cool and I like them but I feel like meeting new people. I acknowledge that since I’m now joining the sports people tribe (they’re sporty) I will have to follow and start from the bottom as a newbie. I’m already doing it with the rock climbing so it’s actually a good opportunity to train the learner’s mindset. The frustrating part is that I’m tired of joining other people’s groups. However to have a group I must offer value. And I can offer value with board games and dinners. These are winter activities. However since I neglected other summer activities I don’t have other things to offer. I used to organize BBQs but mine is broken and again I don’t feel like organizing some these days.
So all of this points to me taking advantage of the rest of the summer to use at least one day per week for exploration/leisure around sport. And then use the rest to at least advance a bit on my projects. I’m also still working on reducing unguided screen time (YouTube/series) and I’m making progress on it.
So all in all, my plan is to meet new interesting people with whom I can have deep conversations, do more sport activities, explore my region. This will give me a starting base to invite people to activities. I’m going tomorrow for a hike for instance.
That also means probably explore new sport activities like BJJ that I like. So I’m getting out of my previous mode of functioning if only by getting out of the house to do some sport. It’s going to work out.
I took the decision not to waste days off anymore.
Also these days going to bars and/or getting drunk has no appeal to me.
I realized that theses days it’s my job that gives me the most satisfaction but that could be a trap that I’m doing my best not to fall into.

Follow up on my current project to improve my personal life. More for self-reflection and documentation but feel free to comment of course.

Diagnosis: risk of only working and loneliness, feelings of boredom.

I’m currently at the lakeshore. The sun is shiny. I’m going to go for a swim. What I realized is that in order to work hard on my projects and plans (new car, applying for my next job, etc.) I need a break after a string of working days. That’s when I need to relax. I went to the gym this morning. Going to the gym 3 times a week and rock climbing once a week is becoming a habit. It has a positive effect on my mood.

So after a string of working days I will take a full day off. I will still do things like laundry, hairdresser, running errands, shopping but I will plan something to chill/have fun. It’s been a challenge for me to do so as I’m feeling I’m not moving forward enough. However I feel tired on Saturdays for instance so I end up running errands, napping and watching YouTube/Rick Morty. I don’t study and don’t move forward on my projects. So basically I used to waste a lot of time. My presence at the lake is in the direction of stopping to waste my days off. At least I’m taking advantage of the lake.

Some friends went with their paddle boards on the beach next to me but I rather stay alone. I noticed that I forced myself to be social whether I felt like it or not. It was good as I could do the river, camping thing and it was good. However I feel like I must follow what I want to do while challenging myself.

I realized I must do stuff that I enjoy. Go to places that I enjoy. See friends that I enjoy. It’s basic but this is what I feel like changing.

I’m also working of changing/incorporating in my identity to be a sports guy. So now I spend more time with the sports people. My French friends and my Romanian friend. I also re-connected with another Swiss friend.

I also see that I lost a bit of my enthusiasm for life. So this is the desire for exploration and novelty.

I lived 20 years in this town and actually never really liked the mentality so that’s also something I can control. Maybe not move as there are things to do and the lake but leave during the weekends. I like better the mentality of the city where my sister is living so that’s a good opportunity to see them as well.

I also realized that my French friends know the region better than I do since they work less than me and have the expat perspective: “let’s explore and have fun”. So I also feel like knowing better my country. The paradox is that since they live in a house sharing they have a group. The one I created is cool and I like them but I feel like meeting new people. I acknowledge that since I’m now joining the sports people tribe (they’re sporty) I will have to follow and start from the bottom as a newbie. I’m already doing it with the rock climbing so it’s actually a good opportunity to train the learner’s mindset. The frustrating part is that I’m tired of joining other people’s groups. However to have a group I must offer value. And I can offer value with board games and dinners. These are winter activities. However since I neglected other summer activities I don’t have other things to offer. I used to organize BBQs but mine is broken and again I don’t feel like organizing some these days.

So all of this points to me taking advantage of the rest of the summer to use at least one day per week for exploration/leisure around sport. And then use the rest to at least advance a bit on my projects. I’m also still working on reducing unguided screen time (YouTube/series) and I’m making progress on it.

So all in all, my plan is to meet new interesting people with whom I can have deep conversations, do more sport activities, explore my region. This will give me a starting base to invite people to activities. I’m going tomorrow for a hike for instance.

That also means probably explore new sport activities like BJJ that I like. So I’m getting out of my previous mode of functioning if only by getting out of the house to do some sport. It’s going to work out.

I took the decision not to waste days off anymore.

Also these days going to bars and/or getting drunk has no appeal to me.

I realized that theses days it’s my job that gives me the most satisfaction but that could be a trap that I’m doing my best not to fall into.

Lucio Buffalmano, Kavalier and 2 other users have reacted to this post.

#328 · July 23, 2023, 12:05 pm

Hey John, I got curious about this:

Quote from John Freeman on July 22, 2023, 5:36 pm
I realized that theses days it’s my job that gives me the most satisfaction but that could be a trap that I’m doing my best not to fall into.

Why do you think it's a trap.

John Freeman has reacted to this post.

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#329 · July 23, 2023, 10:27 pm

Hello Lucio,

I think if one invests too much in one's professional life, one has the risk to not invest enough in one's personal life (energy and time being limiting). One gets rewarded in his professional life for his investment in a positive feed-back loop that incentivize to invest even more.

Today, I went for a hike with friends and then we went for a swim in the lake afterwards. It was great and I am re-connecting with an old friend from Uni. We talked about many things and among them the important to invest/work in one's personal life.

That's basically what I'm currently realizing: I need to get out of the house more often, be physically active, be with people. Then I get the mental and physical energy to work on my projects and go back to work at the hospital. I have to be able to say: "today I'm not going to be productive and it's ok". It's still challenging for me to do. Working on it.

On my days off I think it's also about setting time boundaries: "I'm going to work on my projects from X to Y hour and then I'm going to go rock climbing" or "I'm going to clean the house and do the dishes and then I'm going for a swim". Otherwise, I drag tasks during my days off and I end up: 1. doing little work compared to the time that went by 2. not taking enough time for leisure. So it's also about self-organization and having self-boundaries.

Lucio Buffalmano and Mats G have reacted to this post.

#330 · July 24, 2023, 9:56 am

Thank you for explaining John.

John Freeman has reacted to this post.

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