My Journey to Power

Quote from John Freeman on July 13, 2022, 6:51 pm

I got this email today from the big boss:

Dear Colleague,

I thank you sincerely for your work and presentation of the resident physicians committee.

Frankly perfect. (raw traduction from French)

Could you send me a copy of your presentation? (notice there is no "thanks" and there is the indirect way of asking which is the norm in the local culture)

In advance thanks.

TJ Jones (fake name)

So we can see that he's behaving high warmth high power. He's appreciative of our work and still tasks me adequately regarding the power differential.

I sent him the presentation in both PDF and PPT format. In case he wants to edit it or just print it. I go the extra mile.

My answer:

Dear Prof. Jones,

Your appreciation of our work and your consideration encourages us to continue and do even better!

Here is the presentation,

Good evening and sincere greetings (my exact words do not translate well from French)

John Freeman

I must say that I was not expecting this. So this shows how preparation, teamwork, perseverance (through the toxic environment) and leadership can go.

Remember that it's the same guy who did not want to see me again because I missed the appointment after being thrown under the bus by his secretary because of a misunderstanding about the date.

So here I stay deferential, which is appropriate in our hierarchical culture:

Your appreciation of our work and your consideration encourages us

and use the formulation learned from Lucio:

to continue and do even better!

The subtext is "We are top performers and we will provide top performance". Learned and adapted from "More is coming 🙂 ". The exclamation point is to convey the same as the ":)", meaning "there is some energy left in the tank".

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 13, 2022, 7:10 pm

Nice one, John!

I may have also slipped in there "thank you" at the very beginning.

From a power dynamics point of view that sub-communicates something like "I accept your judge role and I'm pleased to please you".

On the other hand, avoiding the "thank you" may sometimes feel like you don't want to give someone the judge role -which is a good little power move to keep in your toolbox-.

But... It's a great email anyway, plus the PPT, nice addition 🙂

Quote from John Freeman on July 13, 2022, 7:24 pm

Thank you very much!

I did not add the "Thank you" because I was afraid to obtain the "You're my servant" effect. As an exercise, I'll write it again to see how it sounds:

Dear Prof. Jones,

Thank you! Your appreciation of our work and your consideration encourages us to continue and do even better!

Here is the presentation,

Good evening and sincere greetings (my exact words do not translate well from French)

John Freeman

Yes, it's definitely better. It's warmer and more adequate. It does not have the effect I was afraid of.

Because it's actually thanking him not for something he has done ("Servant effect"), but thanking him for the compliment. Alright, my bad. I learned something.

For the PPT, I was afraid it would be too much, thanks for the feed-back!

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 13, 2022, 9:43 pm

Quote from John Freeman on July 13, 2022, 7:24 pm

For the PPT, I was afraid it would be too much, thanks for the feed-back!

Yeah, and not only that, I may have written it in the email, for example:

"I also attach the PPT in case you'd like to do some changes for future use".

That guy was high power and cared about power dynamics -well, most people do, especially the ones who do have power, but he was also very conscious about it as I remember he explicitly said "we are not chasing him-.

Quote from John Freeman on July 14, 2022, 1:22 pm

Hello guys and girls,

A great news I'd like to share. First, now everybody likes me at my job. A post is coming about this. So being warm and high power is very underrated.

The other news is that I'm going to get a recommendation letter from my former narcisstic manipulator boss.

Basically he's a head physician of the first hospital I worked in. I got mobbed by him and other people there. I was not the first and not the last.

In short, I sent him a letter asking for a work certificate. The secretaries told me that they usually don't do that for doctors. They do only letters of recommendations from the bosses. I sent him and  power protected.

He called me and (of course since there is no written trace, and I wanted the opposite) told me I should call him. That he's going to do a recommendation letter for me.

I bowed: I said next time I'm going to call him. I was genuinely happy to hear him as I don't harbour bitter feelings. I would never work there again but if I cross him I'm happy to have a conversation with him.

So it went from:

1. Being mobbed, abuse and threatened to be kicked out
2. Asking for a work certificate (more neutral in CH than letter of recommendation) 3 years later
3. Getting a recommendation letter.

So it is true that learning power dynamics and social skills compounds. All these little daily interactions compound and then you get the rewards.

All of this again, to share my Success AND also to inspire you and encourage you to continue to learn this.

I'm not going to go full analysis but I'll write the email here as it can be useful for you guys to learn something.

Short context: the secretary on the phone told me "if you want a work certificate, I have to send some paper (work for my boss) to your former boss". Nobody ever has asked for a work certificate so far. She sent him a word file to fill (tasking him) and telling me that I want a work certificate therefore he should fill it. Here's my answer, with the imprecisions of translating from French:

Hello Mrs X (secretary),

I add a little precision: whether it is a work certificate or a letter of recommendation, one or the other is very fine. On my side, I defer entirely to Dr P's judgement as the form he will judge the most appropriate to him.

Thank you,

Sincerely yours,

John Freeman

I'm aware it's not the best structured post ever. I hope you'll find something useful for you in there.

Quote from John Freeman on July 15, 2022, 6:42 pm

Hello everyone,

I have a third success to share with you:

I passed my exam!

I was supposed to go work out but I got news that we got the results.

So I went home to “pick up my fail” as I was sure I failed.

I was even listening to Tom Bilyeu on my way home about how to come back from failure.

And here I am!

Now I have the practical exam to pass and I’ll be a board-certified pediatrician.

I have learned in this journey to the theoretical exam and this time I won’t waste time.

I can do it. All I have is Now. I’m able. Only execution matters. I only do and believe what moves me towards my goals.

Quote from Bel on July 15, 2022, 8:41 pm

Congratulations John, it is very well deserved!

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 15, 2022, 9:26 pm

Awesome John, happy to read that!

When you had just finished the exam and said you didn't pass, I was wondering/hoping if there might be a chance.

Nice to read it's not a chance now, but a reality 🙂

Quote from John Freeman on July 16, 2022, 9:21 am

Thank you Bel and Lucio for your support and belief in me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXNLdw9CUgE

I've been over this cycle of self-belief and self-doubt and I can feel the bricks I layed down for years are starting to build a nice house.

I'm starting to get the rewards of all the work I put in. So rather than sleeping on my laurels I'm very motivated to go higher and higher.

It's been now 2 months that I believe again that I can create the life that I want.