New PU Sales Page (feedback?)
The new PU sales page draft is live:
All based on Ali's (great) idea.
The first change will be to make it black and yellow like TPM's current brand colors (and then I'll start replacing text and images, of course).
Any ideas, happy to hear.
Let me start by saying that I like the direction the sales page is taking and I'm a fan of the sales page's development so far.
That said, there are some aspects that I disagree with (and, I purposely use that strong word "disagree" because I want to make sure that I'm clear on my communication here since I might not be able to comment much due to my focus being on The Social Strategist and other projects right now).
#1. The Headline
Learn how to apply power dynamics, strategies, & Machiavellianism to achieve goals and success.
I was very particular with my word choice in the example that I gave because I want to make sure that new website visitors will have an understanding of what they'd be getting from the course.
Not everyone knows what power dynamics is, what Machiavellianism is, or if Machiavellianism even should be applied to goal achievement.
But, everyone knows (or can infer) what advanced social skills are.
So, if Lucio's going to use terms like "power dynamics" and "Machiavellianism" that's fine and it has its own set of pros to it (the majority of enrollments would probably consist of people who know more about what they're getting into which might lead to lower refund rates).
However, Lucio would need to explain this in the sales page to avoid excluding the vast majority of the market that doesn't know what power dynamics is (which is an insider term here) or Machiavellianism's ethical applications (which, many people are unaware of what Machiavellianism is on its own, moreover its positive applications to life achievement).
Therefore, the options (I see) are to:
- Keep the current wording: let those who know and understand those terms continue down the sales page and those who don't research it themselves (hopefully around the TPM site). Or, hope they'll buy despite not knowing the full extent of what they're buying.
- Change the wording: so people can read the sales page while understanding its content.
At worst, keeping the current wording could cause prospects to leave due to not understanding the content (which might lead them to feeling like they're not ready yet, which is OK since PU is advanced, or that the course isn't for them, which I believe is worth avoiding because that's not always true).
So, I'd recommend the change:
Learn how to apply advanced social skills to achieve any goal more effectively.
This combines the sentence structure of Blindsight's sales page, the persuasive wording of Nick Kolenda's sales page (with the "more effectively"), and the more commonly understood terminology of many already-successful social skills course sales pages (with the added touch of "advanced" to distinguish itself).
#2. The Description
Taught by the founder of the N.1 resource of power on the web, Lucio Buffalmano (+ inputs from TPM’s community).
"N.1 resource on power on the web" would be more grammatically correct, but it seems that Lucio wanted to avoid using the word "on" twice.
So, perhaps adding more space between the "on's" would help with the reader's experience, such as:
Taught by the founder of the N.1 resource on power found on the web, Lucio Buffalmano (+ inputs from TPM’s community).
In my opinion, this makes it sound like a research was done on all of the websites teaching power, and when tasked with finding the best of those resources out there, TPM was discovered and ranked at the top. (However, this is probably subjective.)
As an added note here, I also like the "(+ inputs from TPM’s community)" because if the reader knows anything about the top-notch community here, they know they're getting more awesome value than only the gold Lucio shares.
*Note: Could this also be an added incentive for driven high-achievers to join? Similar to how Lucio's giving a ton of value by linking to another site or mentioning them on TPM, getting your input added to PU would also be an honor to those who appreciate TPM and its value. So, maybe especially after The Social Strategist is published, more people might want to work toward giving to the discipline of power dynamics. Only food for thought.
#3. What is Power Dynamics?
The new system for social skills and self-development.
Adding "and self-development" is true, but it complicates it.
Yes, they're getting self-development and in more than only social skills, but also leadership skills, dating skills, and more.
However, is the reader going to understand that?
Power dynamics itself is more of a discipline than a system, in my opinion. It's an area for improvement where many people are lacking.
Power University is the the system — the "process" — for self-development because it organizes everything one needs to know to grow their power awareness and power mastery.
Even so, you can still get away with calling power dynamics a system if most don't know what it is. And, when they get into PU they'll start to understand it more.
But, when you add that power dynamics is also a system for self-development at the same time, it almost feels like it requires further explanation now (and maybe that's only as a semi-clueless newcomer).
So, a more accurate description that leads to more understanding (while keeping the main wording) might be something like:
The new system for social skills in area of self-development that's been neglected for far too long.
Or:
The new system for social skills missing in most of today's self-development literature.
Or, my personal preference:
The new system for social skills.
Short, to the point, and makes sense.
Similar to how psychology applies cognitive science to the human mind, power dynamics applies power principles to social (and life) success.
I think this can work if the wording is kept more consistent and some of the stronger vocabulary (such as cognitive) is removed or replaced.
For example:
Similar to how psychology applies scientific principles to the human mind, power dynamics applies scientific principles to social and life success.
This also overcomes another potential obstacle: new readers may not know what a "power principle" is (and they might make the mistake of thinking Power University is merely a "copy" of the 48 Laws of Power, which isn't true).
But, they can rationalize that if the principles are truly scientific, the authority of the course (and its instructor) must be good.
Before self-help courses first started addressing social skills, books and real-life trial and errors were the only ways to improve.
I like this line. I'd only change "self-help" to "self-development" to keep it consistent with the prior use of the word.
#4. The Curriculum
Skipping a bit here:
I disagree with Blindsight's sales page that these links should be added.
If you have too many links on your sales page, prospects can imagine going to those other links (which could influence them to move away from the main sales page where they can buy, which isn't good).
In reality, prospects only need the course info, so those other links can be left out.
As Nick Kolenda often says, "Give ONLY the information that is necessary to bring people to the [immediate] next step."
P.S.:
Sometimes it feels like Lucio aims for using the term "power dynamics" more often because this is The Power Moves, not The "Social Skills" Moves. And, if that's the case, I completely get it (while, at the same time, I could be completely wrong on that, and happy to be corrected if so).
As a fan of The Power Moves and someone who wants to see more people get the life-changing value that Power University gave me, I find myself remembering the aspects of the old "Social Power" sales page that made me hesitate to join. And, a major part of that is the fact that while I was motivated by the prospect of what I could achieve with power dynamics (the clothes I deserve, the cars I love, the girls I dream about), I was also unsure of what power dynamics is. And so, I wasn't sure the course was for me.
The interesting thing is though, I found TPM by Googling "Charisma Univerity review". I was looking for a social skills course and even though PU is advanced, it was also the exact "social skills course" that I needed.
Had I known that PU was an advanced social skills program I would've had less resistance and probably would've joined sooner too.
"Power dynamics" is a great term to have around the website since TPM is pioneering it, but a sales page has a goal of getting the sale. And, I think that persuading the prospect by using terms they already understand is more important than "being 100% accurate to what this course and site is giving" all of the time.
That said, happy to read anyone's thoughts on this.
Scrolling back up, this one was longer than expected :).
Let me know if the feedback/ideas make sense and/or if there's anything you disagree with.
This is absolutely awesome, Ali!
It actually shifted my mindset going into the sales page preparation.
While my mindset so far was "show expertise, display how unique & groundbreaking PU is", now thanks to you I moved to one of "Keep It Simple Stupid (& let the free articles, book & courses review and PU reviews do the talking)".
Albeit of course I can't be sure that sells better, I think it makes sense and it may well be the case.
If posting short comments is allowed, then here are some:
First, this single webpage looks like something cost more than 5k USD. Second, the color style shifted significantly from thepowermoves.com; is it intended? Third, those McCann Old Navy logos look nice and I think they could also be made clickable; they could be linked to the actual contents that connects TPM with them, such that information will be more precise. Fourth, it seems to me that TPM is also covered in BBC, YC, Google talk, Forbes and many others: all of them are more reputable than old navy. Fifth, in FAQ the numbering is a bit disordered by putting "8" after "11".
Thank you MMC!
With this:
Quote from MMC on June 27, 2022, 11:23 amFirst, this single webpage looks like something cost more than 5k USD.
You mean that the page looks professional (and makes PU seem worth more than 5k ) ?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on June 27, 2022, 12:04 pmThank you MMC!
With this:
Quote from MMC on June 27, 2022, 11:23 amFirst, this single webpage looks like something cost more than 5k USD.
You mean that the page looks professional (and makes PU seem worth more than 5k ) ?
Yes this webpage looks expensive and professional: only ultra high-end webpage will cost 5k per page. High-end webpage usually cost 1k-2k per page. I was guessing that you hired a professional designer to do it ...
The page is also not very pushy or overselling - which is of course good. There are of course a lot of good points that I failed to mention due to time and space constraints.
I think it's great, Lucio and Ali!
I won't comment on the more technical aspects and specifics like wording, structure, design since I'm no authority on the subject, and offer instead my impressions as a customer. I think the old page was already great - this one, though, takes it to the next level. I especially liked the way you list the skills one would acquire by going through Power University, the situations where they might apply and to whom they might be useful, so the viewer can get a better picture of what is in it for them before diving into the articles. I felt the old one appeared more appealing to people looking to be "bad", but this one looks more in line with the breadth of the public TPM aims for.
Perhaps you could add some references to scholars that have works on the subject of power, authority and the different kinds of capital, like Bourdieu or even Foucault (you could do this by adding a cover of their books alongside that of The Prince - reserving the spotlight for Mach, though). While they may not offer very practical advice to real life situations, I can see some traces of their work on PU especially on some definitions. That would add one more layer to the claim of "scientific principles to social and life success" and you'd score some more points with the scholars' team.
The one thing I would do away with, though, is "machiavelianism":
Machiavellianism: how to become Machiavellian, mindsets of ruthless goal-achievement, advanced strategies & techniques, advanced negotiation
[...]
Hundreds of the best minds and decades of research on social dynamics, power, Machiavellianism, and strategies are condensed into a course on power for real-world skills and results.
The problem with listing "machiavellianism" as something you might want to learn is that, in English (perhaps in most languages), machiavellianism acquired the meaning of something unethical and even deceitful. The Cambridge Dictionary for exemple lists it as
The use of clever but often dishonest methods that deceive people in order to win power or control
This might lead people to misinterpret PU's actual message and some might be put off by it. I think that "mindsets of ruthless goal-achievement, advanced strategies & techniques, advanced negotiation" alone already does the trick without risking the loss of potential prospects.
Machiavelli is good, but better kept as a reference (in the pictures, for example).
Continuing my feedback:
#3.2. What is Power Dynamics?
Power dynamics as a groundbreaking approach to advanced social skills is at a similar inflection point.
This line also seems to complicate the concept of power dynamics.
When you say, "Power dynamics as (a groundbreaking approach to XYZ)," it implies that power dynamics can also be viewed as other things too (which, it can be, since it's also a groundbreaking approach to leadership skills, dating skills, workplace communication skills, and so on).
However, this further complicates things for the reader in a section that's supposed to provide clarification.
So, better, might be to simply frame power dynamics as one thing:
Power dynamics is a groundbreaking approach to advanced social skills that's currently at a similar inflection point.
By saying "currently at", it further emphasizes that, "While it's at an inflection point now, it won't be that way forever. And, the sooner you get in on this, the farther ahead you'll be when power dynamics comes to light as a more well-known (and sought after) discipline in the self-development world."
#4.2. The Curriculum
I love this content!
Even though the Blindsight sales page might suggest the amount of information is "too much", I believe it's perfect for driven people who want to know more about what they're getting, WIIFT, and how much they'll be walking away with when they graduate.
Only recommendation I'd make is to make the section more minimal to avoid distracting potential buyers with "too much" content.
We briefly discussed this before, but making the course's sales page more minimal helps prospects focus on what's most important—the buying decision.
And, one way to make the sales page more minimal is with toggles.
So, you can implement the use of toggles in the "Curriculum" section similar to how you did with the previous sales page.
As far as the images below that content, I like it, I only wish they were more well-organized (and maybe minimal).
This is subjective, but it seems like less is more here. Even though visuals often help, it seems overdone in this section.
For example, if we were to recreate it based on the Blindsight template and the images you already have up, this might be the closest to an organized, simplified area of images:
However, I believe that PU has better images to share and benefits to display, so let me give it some more thought before I share anything definitive. I do believe that this would be a step in the right direction though.
Another option would be to remove those images altogether, but that seems like it would be a missed opportunity for further displaying the value of the course with these awesome images.
#5. Taught by the Founder of The Power Dynamics Institute
The Power Mmoves (TPM) Community
The TPM community grew out of the website’s forum and helped advance both power dynamics as a discipline, and Power University as a learning tool.Driven (wo)men with incredibly bright minds applied Power University’s principles across 5 continents, a multitude of industries, and the most disparate environments and social situations. They originally proved Power University’s concepts, then refined some others, and then came up with new strategies, techniques, and/or better ways to present and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings.
Let me break down this section.
The Power Mmoves (TPM) Community
Typo on "Moves".
The TPM community grew out of the website’s forum and helped advance both power dynamics as a discipline, and Power University as a learning tool.
I like most of this sentence, however, saying that the TPM community grew out of this site's forum gives backstory (and maybe some context), but no added value for the reader. (You'll see how I approach it differently in my example later.)
Driven (wo)men with incredibly bright minds applied Power University’s principles across 5 continents, a multitude of industries, and the most disparate environments and social situations.
This was cool to read as a PU alumnus.
That said, these details might seem unimportant to the reader because the instinctive thought when making a "big" buying decision is also formed around personal relevance.
So, with these new details, they might think, "Was one of those continents mine, or not? What industries were they and if one of them was mine, what were the outcomes there?"
Now, rather than being mainly impressed, they're curious and also unsure since details that provide further clarification are never shared.
The solution?
Give information, but withhold the unnecessary details. Especially when they carry the risk of dissuading the prospect.
They originally proved Power University’s concepts, then refined some others, and then came up with new strategies, techniques, and/or better ways to present and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings.
Since this was a big focus of Lucio's throughout the PU upgrade, I can understand him including this. And, I think it's great that he did.
It's the wording that I think could do a better job of highlighting why this should matter to the prospect.
So, I think there's another way to phrase this that might be more persuasive.
The Power Moves (TPM) Community
The TPM community is a collective of students of power dynamics — many of whom are Power University alumni — who have helped to advance both power dynamics as a discipline and Power University as a learning tool.
Driven men and women with incredibly bright minds have applied Power University’s principles across numerous industries and areas of the world, in the most disparate environments and social situations. Originally, they simply proved Power University’s concepts. But, then they went further, refining some of those concepts, and then coming up with brand new ones as well as strategies, techniques, and approaches validated by real-life testing and Lucio's expertise as a social scientist. Perhaps best of all, they've brainstormed and shared better ways to structure and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings, so it's as easy as possible for future students.
Let's analyze this.
The TPM community is a collective of students of power dynamics — many of whom are Power University alumni — who have helped to advance both power dynamics as a discipline and Power University as a learning tool.
This implies the WIIFT that you'd be joining more than a course, but also a community of fellow driven students who are also on the same path as you.
Plus, this gives the social proof that others have joined and even finished PU as well.
Driven men and women with incredibly bright minds have applied Power University’s principles across numerous industries and areas of the world, in the most disparate environments and social situations.
On the "Driven men and women", PU is for women too, so giving them the space of a whole word will make them feel more included and lead to them feeling more like PU is also relevant to and made for them.
On the second part, you'll notice that by keeping it short and unspecific, there's only enough information for the focus to be less on the numbers and more on the achievement — which will have a higher chance of that prospect being impressed (rather than inquisitive).
Originally, they simply proved Power University’s concepts. But, then they went further, refining some of those concepts, and then coming up with brand new ones as well as strategies, techniques, and approaches validated by real-life testing and Lucio's expertise as a social scientist. Perhaps, best of all, they've brainstormed and shared better ways to structure and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings, so it's as easy as possible for future students.
Finally, that last part underlines why the structure of PU matters.
Their focus so far is going to be on the groundbreaking teachings themselves and the format (such as, is it mostly text or video), not so much on the "structure" of the course.
So, this info seems like unneeded filler, until you highlight that the structure is what leads to fast and easy implementation for the student.
Another very important WIIFT.
#6. What Is Your Best Resource to Win With People?
Speaking of fast and easy implementation, the beginning of this section makes it seem like it's a hard and slow journey to achieve good social skills because it goes from saying you need one resource, to a bunch of different ones across multiple mediums (mentors, books, courses, and so on).
Now, this is actually good persuasion because it agitates the problem for the reader. By instilling an emotion that the problem is difficult to solve, you give them the impression that there’s no hope in overcoming their pain through the competing options.
BUT, the caveat is that you have to highlight that your product is what makes this difficult problem easy to fix.
And, this section doesn't feel like it does that well enough yet.
You'll notice that in Blindsight's copy, they keep the focus of their message on time in the end:
Over 20 years of neuroscience research and marketing strategy are condensed into a neuromarketing workshop.
TPM's draft, however, shifts the focus from time to "amount of research"
Hundreds of the best minds and...
Now, there's another addition there of what makes PU special, but that makes it a sequence (even if it is only two things, it still counts as a list). And, in any sequence, people remember what is said first due to the primacy effect.
So, now the question arises of whether or not PU really condensed all of that wisdom one needs, or combined it. And, that's an important distinction to make.
So, one option would be to simply reword that part to keep the focus on how much time PU would be saving the prospect:
Decades of research from hundreds of the best minds on social dynamics, power, Machiavellianism, and strategies are condensed into a course on power for real-world skills and results.
Another option though would be to keep the focus on the amount of research and use that as an opportunity to share more about PU's groundbreaking nature in how advanced it is:
What Is Your Advanced Resource to Win With People?
Everybody needs at least one.
Something more than the basic, common social skills that most mentors, books, and courses teach.
Problem is, it takes ~10 years to earn a masters in communication and social research, read hundreds of books, go through hundreds of courses, and then test to identify what information actually works in the real world.
I know because I did it.
This is why I created Power University: to cut the line.
Hundreds of the best minds in combination with decades of research on social dynamics, power, Machiavellianism, and strategies are condensed into a course on power for real-world skills and results.
Now, keeping the "hundreds of the best minds" at the forefront works better.
And, by the way, I'd change "Best" to "Advanced" either way because when Lucio says, "What is Your Best Resource to Win With People?" it's no longer a rhetorical question and people may actually begin to think about which book is the best they've read (maybe they'll even instinctively think, How To Win Friends and Influence People, simply because of the wording).
But, when you say "Advanced", it immediately sparks the necessary question of, "Well, is what I read actually advanced, or not?" which makes the question more rhetorical (and, thus, more persuasive).
#7. Read What Power University Alumni Say
The one-liners below the video testimonials need a period.
#8. Who is Power University for?
For driven men and women who want to become master persuades, acquire status, and power, win promotions, but also make great and find great partners to establish a great relationship with.
But it’s also for those who are struggling a bit, who still need to lose their “too nice” persona, their naive mindsets, or who need to learn how to defend themselves, stand up, or how to stop the assholes and manipulators in their life.
Power University is advanced, and to make the most out ofit a minimum level of emotional intelligence and social skills is recommended (if you’re not there yet, start with these).
I'd change the placement of some of the commas, a bit of the wording, and correct the typos ("persuades" to "persuaders" and "ofit" to "of it").
For driven men and women who want to become master persuaders, acquire status and power, and win promotions, but also make for and find great partners to establish an above average relationship with.
Yet, it’s also for those who are struggling a bit, such as if you still need to lose your “too nice” persona, naive mindsets, or learn how to defend yourself, stand up, and stop the assholes and manipulators in your life.
Power University is advanced, and to make the most out of it a minimum level of emotional intelligence and social skills is recommended (if you’re not there yet, start with these).
"Above average relationship" appeals to the types of people who would be a fit for this course because, generally speaking, driven people don't like to settle for mediocre :).
Also notice that I changed some of the wording to "you" in order to increase the prospect's perceived personal relevance to the content.
And, by the way, speaking of wording to appeal to the driven:
⚠️ Full disclosure: Power University is intense. We expect our students to be fully committed to internalizing new and empowering mindsets, and to apply in real-life our proven strategies and techniques. We help you along the way with quizzes, pop-tests, exercises, and assignment, but you must walk the talk.
This is perfect.
The only change that I'd make is to go from "walk the talk" to "also do your part by taking action".
"Walk the talk" when they didn't necessarily "say" anything can make joining PU seem like a higher commitment than they're comfortable with.
After all, I've joined courses before when after your payment goes through you get hit with a major, unexpected contract. Now, you have to make a large, unforseen promise and that's where you gotta walk the talk that you just signed (especially, if you want a chance at getting your money back).
PU isn't like that. And, I don't think PU should start to group itself together with other businesses that are. (But, you're free to disagree, of course.)
#9. The Promise of Power University
Once again, when we talk about lines that might sound great but don't add any value or influence the prospect further, this could be one of them:
We promise that Power University will wow you. And get your results.
By making this direct claim, prospects need to trust the "marketer" that Power University will wow them and get them results.
This activates the "persuasion knowledge model" where prospects reading this know that Lucio is trying to persuade them and, as a result, nonconsciously push back against that persuasion in order to retain their freedom to decide for themself what they want to do.
As Nick Kolenda says, "...customers can’t feel like you’re trying to persuade them or control their behavior in any way. If they feel that intent, then they’re going to become more defensive and resistant...Whenever you’re trying to persuade someone, it’s very important that you try to remove the perception that you’re trying to persuade them...you need to give the impression that they’re in control of the decision and that you’re not trying to guide or change their behavior in any way. That approach is important because of a concept known as the ‘persuasion knowledge model’.”
And, the persuasion knowledge model states that: "When people perceive that someone is trying to change their behavior, they become defensive. They resist that persuasion attempt.” (Friestad and Wright, 1994)
So, if Lucio removes this, we can immediately get into the WIIFTs. And, that could look like this:
The Promise of Power University
You will develop an extensive understanding of the crucial power principles that underpin social and life success, be it in socializing and making friends, dating and attracting mates, workplaces and winning promotions, etc. Etc.
(...)
This is more congruent with Blindsight's template, more likely to make the prospect feel comfortable, and more persuasive, in my opinion.
Feel free to share your thoughts.
Quote from Kavalier on June 27, 2022, 9:20 pmI think it's great, Lucio and Ali!
(...)
The one thing I would do away with, though, is "machiavelianism":
Machiavellianism: how to become Machiavellian, mindsets of ruthless goal-achievement, advanced strategies & techniques, advanced negotiation
[...]
Hundreds of the best minds and decades of research on social dynamics, power, Machiavellianism, and strategies are condensed into a course on power for real-world skills and results.
The problem with listing "machiavellianism" as something you might want to learn is that, in English (perhaps in most languages), machiavellianism acquired the meaning of something unethical and even deceitful. The Cambridge Dictionary for exemple lists it as
The use of clever but often dishonest methods that deceive people in order to win power or control
This might lead people to misinterpret PU's actual message and some might be put off by it. I think that "mindsets of ruthless goal-achievement, advanced strategies & techniques, advanced negotiation" alone already does the trick without risking the loss of potential prospects.
Machiavelli is good, but better kept as a reference (in the pictures, for example).
Thank you Kavalier!
Yes, what you say makes a lot of sense.
There's still a part of me that clings to it as:
- A way of differentiating and displaying the unique selling proposition (USP).
Without that part it might feel like a run-of-the-mill social skills course.
Part of what makes PU stand out is exactly that cutting edge strategic bend and, albeit we espouse and prefer the ethical approach, also information on what works delivered without the moral implications.
- A way to pitch to the best fit for the product
And there's a part who thinks that "if someones feels that learning from Machiavelli is 'bad', then they're not a good fit and not in the right headspace to truly learn".
But you're right and maybe someone who would benefit from it and ultimately agree with TPM's angle ("you need to be bad to be good") may be turned off and lose an opportunity.
I'll think about it and maybe that angle or reword it.
Quote from Ali Scarlett on June 27, 2022, 11:25 pmContinuing my feedback:
Man, this is next-level genius, can't even quote any specific passage because it's a continuous stream of gold (but I'll quote just some to properly thread expand on some gold).
Marketers should read through this thread -and a few more- and learn.
Basically I nodded all along, smiled, and adapted everything you wrote.
If you're interested I may measure the conversation changes somehow and if it works out well provide you with a "quantitative feedback" and link you can display for future consulting work you may want to do.
P.S.: Pictures still work in progress
As for the section with pictures and as for all the rest: absolutely right. They're going to be molded after Blindsight's original page. The bigger and colored pictures' format was my mistake in editing and the programmer is going to fix it soon.
Quote from Ali Scarlett on June 27, 2022, 11:25 pm#5. Taught by the Founder of The Power Dynamics Institute
The Power Mmoves (TPM) Community
The TPM community grew out of the website’s forum and helped advance both power dynamics as a discipline, and Power University as a learning tool.Driven (wo)men with incredibly bright minds applied Power University’s principles across 5 continents, a multitude of industries, and the most disparate environments and social situations. They originally proved Power University’s concepts, then refined some others, and then came up with new strategies, techniques, and/or better ways to present and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings.
Let me break down this section.
The TPM community grew out of the website’s forum and helped advance both power dynamics as a discipline, and Power University as a learning tool.
I like most of this sentence, however, saying that the TPM community grew out of this site's forum gives backstory (and maybe some context), but no added value for the reader. (You'll see how I approach it differently in my example later.)
Driven (wo)men with incredibly bright minds applied Power University’s principles across 5 continents, a multitude of industries, and the most disparate environments and social situations.
This was cool to read as a PU alumnus.
That said, these details might seem unimportant to the reader because the instinctive thought when making a "big" buying decision is also formed around personal relevance.
So, with these new details, they might think, "Was one of those continents mine, or not? What industries were they and if one of them was mine, what were the outcomes there?"
Now, rather than being mainly impressed, they're curious and also unsure since details that provide further clarification are never shared.
The solution?
Give information, but withhold the unnecessary details. Especially when they carry the risk of dissuading the prospect.
They originally proved Power University’s concepts, then refined some others, and then came up with new strategies, techniques, and/or better ways to present and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings.
Since this was a big focus of Lucio's throughout the PU upgrade, I can understand him including this. And, I think it's great that he did.
It's the wording that I think could do a better job of highlighting why this should matter to the prospect.
So, I think there's another way to phrase this that might be more persuasive.
The Power Moves (TPM) Community
The TPM community is a collective of students of power dynamics — many of whom are Power University alumni — who have helped to advance both power dynamics as a discipline and Power University as a learning tool.
Driven men and women with incredibly bright minds have applied Power University’s principles across numerous industries and areas of the world, in the most disparate environments and social situations. Originally, they simply proved Power University’s concepts. But, then they went further, refining some of those concepts, and then coming up with brand new ones as well as strategies, techniques, and approaches validated by real-life testing and Lucio's expertise as a social scientist. Perhaps best of all, they've brainstormed and shared better ways to structure and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings, so it's as easy as possible for future students.
Let's analyze this.
The TPM community is a collective of students of power dynamics — many of whom are Power University alumni — who have helped to advance both power dynamics as a discipline and Power University as a learning tool.
This implies the WIIFT that you'd be joining more than a course, but also a community of fellow driven students who are also on the same path as you.
Plus, this gives the social proof that others have joined and even finished PU as well.
Driven men and women with incredibly bright minds have applied Power University’s principles across numerous industries and areas of the world, in the most disparate environments and social situations.
On the "Driven men and women", PU is for women too, so giving them the space of a whole word will make them feel more included and lead to them feeling more like PU is also relevant to and made for them.
On the second part, you'll notice that by keeping it short and unspecific, there's only enough information for the focus to be less on the numbers and more on the achievement — which will have a higher chance of that prospect being impressed (rather than inquisitive).
Originally, they simply proved Power University’s concepts. But, then they went further, refining some of those concepts, and then coming up with brand new ones as well as strategies, techniques, and approaches validated by real-life testing and Lucio's expertise as a social scientist. Perhaps, best of all, they've brainstormed and shared better ways to structure and simplify Power University’s groundbreaking teachings, so it's as easy as possible for future students.
Finally, that last part underlines why the structure of PU matters.
Their focus so far is going to be on the groundbreaking teachings themselves and the format (such as, is it mostly text or video), not so much on the "structure" of the course.
So, this info seems like unneeded filler, until you highlight that the structure is what leads to fast and easy implementation for the student.
Another very important WIIFT.
This was genius in applying the concept of:
Say only what adds value.
If something doesn't add value, you're fluffing and losing an opportunity to better use that space at best.
At worst, you're opening doors for doubts and question marks that you're not addressing (and that's common).
One more:
Quote from Ali Scarlett on June 27, 2022, 11:25 pm#9. The Promise of Power University
Once again, when we talk about lines that might sound great but don't add any value or influence the prospect further, this could be one of them:
We promise that Power University will wow you. And get your results.
By making this direct claim, prospects need to trust the "marketer" that Power University will wow them and get them results.
This activates the "persuasion knowledge model" where prospects reading this know that Lucio is trying to persuade them and, as a result, nonconsciously push back against that persuasion in order to retain their freedom to decide for themself what they want to do.
As Nick Kolenda says, "...customers can’t feel like you’re trying to persuade them or control their behavior in any way. If they feel that intent, then they’re going to become more defensive and resistant...Whenever you’re trying to persuade someone, it’s very important that you try to remove the perception that you’re trying to persuade them...you need to give the impression that they’re in control of the decision and that you’re not trying to guide or change their behavior in any way. That approach is important because of a concept known as the ‘persuasion knowledge model’.”
And, the persuasion knowledge model states that: "When people perceive that someone is trying to change their behavior, they become defensive. They resist that persuasion attempt.” (Friestad and Wright, 1994)
So, if Lucio removes this, we can immediately get into the WIIFTs. And, that could look like this:
The Promise of Power University
You will develop an extensive understanding of the crucial power principles that underpin social and life success, be it in socializing and making friends, dating and attracting mates, workplaces and winning promotions, etc. Etc.
(...)
Fantastic catch.
I think people who are more used to in-person communication are more likely to make that mistake -and I do often indeed-.
In-person some bluster or big claims can work better because you can back it up with conviction and charisma -that works especially well with less critical crowrds, think of Trump's persuasion style or "big leader" approach and who it appeals the most to-.
But it can also work with a more critical crowd when you add all other non-persuasion interactions (ie.: before the event starts, after the event ends and you can just talk as "normal people"), or talk more and do some persuasion pull-pull (ie., sentences that take the pressure off and communicate "but up to you to confirm that, if you want to give a try, I'm not chasing a sale", etc.).
But in writing, you're setting yourself up for failure with anyone who knows little of the good reputation of the author/business (which is a lot of people who go through the sales page).