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People will punish you for making them feel inferior
Hello Lucio,
I'm curious to have your take on this one. It goes back to the smart alec style. The context is the following: when talking with people who don't have the knowledge you have or haven't thought about such topic or aren't able to think in complex ways about such a topic.
Then, I believe it's very important to value their experience and knowledge or many people will feel inferior (fixed mindset). From there, they will try to punish us back for making them feel inferior. Even though it was them who felt this way in the first place. I also noticed that some people pretend to ask you questions to get to know you but it's actually as you already said to have power over you as asking questions empowers the receiver.
I think it goes back to prioritising connection and relationships.
What do you think?
Yes, I'll be quick on this one.
There are two kinds of people:
- Those who accept your superiority -and likely even admire you more for it-
- Those who resent it and will punish you (either openly, or indirectly with cover aggression, passive aggression, or by becoming frenemies that will try to trip you)
Which is which will depend on the situation, the power dynamics, how you showcase your superiority, as well as your personality and their character.
However, as a rule of thumb, I'd say that the second category, the people that will resent you, is larger.
Especially since most people don't know how to showcase their talents within collaborative frames. And that's all the more true if you do with a smart-alec style, that is centered around being haughty.
On the other hand, if you showcase superiority with a frame of "I know more in this topic, but I like and respect you, and you probably know more in other topics, and I'm happy to use my superiority to add value", then chances are that the person will join the first category.
This is also interlinked to what I call "intellectual dominance" in dating.
Make the woman enter in that first category, and she'll admire you and chase you.
Boom. Thanks a lot! Much to learn I still have.
