Former Community – We Moved
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Powermove: "Give me 10 reasons why I should collaborate with you, and if you touch my heart, I might give you a chance"
I said something like: "You are playing a win-lose powermove, which is not cooperative. We should employ a win-win collaborative mindset".
She replied: "Give me 10 reasons why I should collaborate with you, and if you touch my heart, I might give you a chance".
She is basically saying that, "I am sure that you want a collaborative relation, so I give you a chance". If I accept the frame and try to persuade the other party, it is -10 balance for me. However, if I reject the frame, she might be rightfully not collaborating in future.
I understand that woman usually have more options. But even if I do have better options and higher SMV, women still act like they are in charge, just like the Musk-Riley relationship. This simply sounds unreasonable for me.
Here are some options:
- One-up back: "Oh, you think I am your professor? Sure, I'll teach you the 10 reasons one by one." However I don't like this as it often lead to vicious cycle
- Yield the leadership to her. As leadership is often positively correlated with attraction, this option might not be the optimal.
- Further pointing out this new game she is playing: one-upping and judge role game
- Find a collaborative partner instead. I think this is the last and only viable option.
What do you think about other options?
References: How to turn games into a cooperative relationship | Forum | The Power Moves
How To Fix Combative Relationships: Case Study | The Power Moves
https://thepowermoves.com/forum/topic/entitled-women/
Interesting case, and a total value-taking power move.
Such a power move, as a matter of fact, that:
- I'd find it very annoying
- I'd take -1 point for short-term, and -4 for long-term
In this case, I'd sidestep, which is a form of frame ignoring.
Just forget about the game, and move past it.
Something like:
Her: Give me 10 reasons...
You: It's usually just better. Anyway...
Or use it as springboard to forge ahead:
Her: Give me 10 reasons...
You: I think life's too short to write reams on a phone :). How about a coffee instead.
Or you can try to call it out:
Her: Give me 10 reasons...
You: That's exactly the win-lose approach I talked about. You're setting yourself up above me as the chooser, and that's a game that only clueless men will play. If you want to date a cool guy, in a more balanced relationship, let me know and we can schedule a coffee/drink
That might burn her ego, so it's very possible she stops texting.
But if she keeps on going, that's a great sign, and now you're the leader.
