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Reading people's tells in negotiation: psychology & strategies (a text example)
If you can read people's tells, you are better placed to understand when you are approaching their bottom line, when you are asking too much, and when you need to step back.
Here is an example:
When he says "I need to speak to my wife", it could mean either that:
- He wants to buy time to think
- He wants to use time as a strategic tool for pressure
- He wants to back out of the deal and he's using an excuse
- He's pussy-whipped -for the sake of simplicity, let's imagine this is not the case :)-Â
Number 3 means that you pushed too much and that you effectively pushed them away from the negotiation table. They are not going to talk to their wives, "think about it", "run some numbers" or "check their options".
No, they are just disappearing.
And if you let them disappear on that bad note, chances are that festering will take place. Such as, they start thinking of you as un unfair negotiator, a stingy player, and someone not to deal with anymore.
In one word, they reject you.
And if you made them feel bad or "dominated", they self-reject and will not want to deal with you anymore to forget that bad exchange.
How do you know though if it's number 3?
Reading body language and personality type helps a lot.
The more people are indirect in their language, and the more they are unassertive, the more likely it is they will use delaying language and techniques as a way of saying "no".
In this particular case, he fit the bill for that type of guy. Plus, he had used that same expression once before, so I felt quite sure that I was pushing too much.
Furthermore, I know there are more risks and costs in waiting. Someone might just book the place while I wait, and I'd be screwed. At best, I'd still waste time waiting for him and I want to be done with this chapter.
So, what do you do?
When you realize you've pushed too much and you do want the product, it's time to turn around. Your question should be: how do rebuild goodwill and bring them back to the negotiation table? And, ideally, how do I do so without losing too much power?
When I say:
Me:Â Oh, I see your point now
It's my indirect way of saying "sorry for having pushed too much, I am re-aligning to your needs now", which is a nice move to reel him back in with kindness and without losing too much power on my side.
Then, knowing that he is really near his bottom line, I ask for one last bit of discount, I make it easy for him to say yes, and throw in a last sweetener with the cash imagery -many people prefer cash to transfer, and the feeling of getting cash in hand is also a big plus for many-.
