Quote from linhauwei on October 17, 2019, 8:28 am

Hey mate, recently, I went into the monk mode. Spending tons of time read books can be pain and uncomfortable at beginning, But gradually in the process of continuous progress, I am very satisfied and happy. I enjoy it! But still, I discover some subtle things, when this concept is applied to reading.

1.Hierarchy of thinking

I divide people's thinking into three levels:

1 skill level

2 mindset level

3 spiritual level

When this concept is applied to reading, We can break it down into subprojects like:

1 skill level: communication skill, body language, negotiation, social skill books.

2 mindset level:build self-esteem, self identity, self-help books

3 spiritual level : dealing with trauma, family problem, toxic shame, etc books

For example if a guy want to improve his jump shot ability, but he failed. Why? First he read a book about shooting drill, say that you need to shot 1000 jumpers each everyday(skill level), then he had a mindset that "no pain, no gain"(mindset level), But as he grew up, his childhood experience made him feel worthless, and he could not bear any failure, because it would trigger his toxic shame(spiritual level).So even if he knew how to do it, and what kind of mentality to keep, he could not finish it.

My mom

First, thanks for recommending "Will I ever Be Good Enough" great great stuff. Later, I star to recall the relationship between me, my mother and my grandmother. My grandmother used to neglect and abandon the need of my mom, that make her believed she's worthless, not good enough, submission, grumpy/cranky/temperamental, self destructive. But there's only one reason for all this. She just want my grandmother's attention and validation, even now. Like DNA, this "family rule" is passed on to the next generation through the daily behavior. We can find that our behavior and thoughts, to a surprising degree, are related to our family if you don't try to change your mindset.

My mom love reading, she's a bookworm, but i realized that 99% of her books are "how to" type, how to win friendship, how to persuade people, how to look confidence...etc(skill level). But the paradox is that she has few friends, bad job, and has weight problems, religious addiction(I see excessive "religious addiction" as a form of self escape). So he put his hope on me, and I became an extension of her self-esteem, but she didn't take care of her own life from the beginning to the end. She knew a lot of knowledge, but she didn't act. Failure and rejection will touch her deep pain, So she won't let anyone disobey her, which makes her a dictator in the family.

Lucio, is there exist deeper layer than spiritual level? or my concept is wrong in certain point? Love to hear your advice.

Reading skill

Reading books is a good habit, but how to effectively absorb the knowledge from books is more important. A lot of people, myself included, after reading a book, the memory in the book will pass with time, unless I'm impressed by a certain chapter. And modern society values fast culture, ex: how to read 200 books a year. Personally, I don't prefer this "fast food"culture. After knowing a concept, I prefer to think about the concept, in what situations it is useful, in what situations it is useless, whether there are exceptions, and in what aspects it can be extended.

The key point

Lucio, What is the key skills of absorbing knowledge efficiently, no matter reading books or learning from website, and then make it a profound memory? make a summary after finishing a book is one I can promote.

Another question is, which one do you think better, reading only one book at a time, or can you mix different types of books at same time? And again, I'm all ears!