Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 4, 2019, 7:51 pm

Relentless is a wonderful book, I loved it.

And albeit it wouldn't be listed as a "psychology" text, it's truly one of the best books to understand the psychology of ultra-driven men.

But I must agree with you here.
People change, for sure.

There are caveats, of course.
We're not a blank slate and the initial imprint we are born with certainly weighs.
Some traits are also easier to change while some others tend to be "stickier".

Still, there is ample "wiggle room" on many, if not most crucial aspects of personality.
Even if one were to change beliefs only, which are more "surface-level" changes, that would already lead to a very different character and very different choices.

Change is also quite a natural process.
Even if one didn't actively seek change, character and beliefs often naturally change anyway with time and life experiences. Not always and necessarily for the positive, but changing it does.

Maybe what Grover wanted to say is that most people don't change for the better by themselves.
And he wouldn't be wrong there.
But that's because most people aren't even interested in changing and improving.

But for those who are, positive change is always possible.

Quote from Sean on October 4, 2019, 9:32 pm

Thank you for the response. I am interested in more books in peak performance, are there any that you recommend? I enjoy some concepts in this book that I haven't thought of such as embracing the dark side instead of shunning it, but I am looking for even more knowledge on the topic.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 5, 2019, 10:30 am

Yeah, embracing the dark side is truly deep.
Best not to show it publicly though: most people will think it's "weird" or that you are "too dark" and suggest you to "get over those issues".
Most people don't understand that type of drive.

Here are some of the best books on peak performance:

• Peak: by and large the best book on performance. The guy is a true researcher who's been studying peak performances for decades. The only drawback is that it's slightly more applicable to physical performance than to, say, writers, coders, entrepreneurs, etc.
• Grit: Duckworth received much criticism as "grit" is basically "conscientiousness", but however you wanna call it, it remains one of the most important traits for success
• Flow: everyone's talking about "flow" these days, but the book didn't really add much value to me. Maybe it's because his original research by now is so widespread that most people already know about it. And it didn't contain any true enlightening information on how to reach "flow". But it might still be worth taking a look
• The Talent Code: the author is actually a journalist, but the final book is still a wonderful piece of work
• Atomic Habits: success is built upon daily actions, repeated over time. That means: habits. And this is the best book on habits. Once you get this one, you can skip the more famous "The Power of Habit"
• Deep Work: my personal favorite, and deep work is what I am both lacking and striving towards the most. Where "Peak" is more tailored to jobs tied to physical movement, "Deep Work" is written by a professor and academic and thus more tailored to professional work

I would also add Tony Robbins.
Even when he's not talking about peak performance, he often uses his own life as an example and you get to see how an ultra-driven, boundless well of energy thinks and act.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 5, 2019, 10:32 am

P.S.: once you reach the end of "Social Power" you also get "Ultima Power", which also provides a short-form overview of the very best from the above mentioned books.

Quote from SeanBancroft on May 1, 2020, 9:35 am

"The Power of Habit" Great one and higly recommend.

A bit different than Relentless, but after Relentless you also need to develop your quieter side to keep the dark one under control.

 

Quote from gbe on September 6, 2020, 1:35 pm

In this book, the author said you should become addicted to success. How do you develop an addiction to money?

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 6, 2020, 5:05 pm

Quote from gbe on September 6, 2020, 1:35 pm

In this book, the author said you should become addicted to success. How do you develop an addiction to money?

Hey, gbe, first of all, you know what's coming already:

1. I'm not sure whether you really want to do that, and whether it's good for you or not

That being said, an out of control addiction does lead people to achieve great things. And we could debate whether or not one might have a "somewhat under control addiction", that he unleashes whenever he needs an added push.

Now with that premise being done, you could probably start thinking about all the great things you can do with money, all the ways with which it will empower you.
Then you an think of all the ways not having money is disempowering you. The travels you're missing, the submissiveness to an asshole boss you must endure (rather than being able to flip him and walk).
Also start developing envy for rich people. Look at their jet and think "why does that guy have one, and I don't? He's not any smarter".

Finally, start feeling good when you have money.
Money in your bank account, looking at it. Money in your hands feeling it. Feeling the power and freedom that having money in your pocket makes you feel.

And I end with the caveat again: think twice whether or not you want to develop an exaggerated attachment for money.

Quote from gbe on September 6, 2020, 5:11 pm

Thanks, that's a very detailed answer ^^