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Style: How to find a good tailor?

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Hi Lucio,

After seeing you in your public talks, you convinced me of how pertinent it is to tailor your clothes. It does change the man. I used to do it for my trousers (length and knee width) but I did not think of going as far as you went.

I actually have three questions:

  1. Since you use a tailor, I imagine you have a different strategy as you used to before doing it. Do you focus more on the material and color and less on the fit since you will adjust it later?
  2. How did you find a good tailor? They can either be average (the one I have) or too expensive. Any tips?
  3. Do you tailor all your clothes or only some of them?

Thanks a lot!

 

Hey John!

Absolutely man.
I consider style and clothes one of the fundamentals of a person's overall value. And I cannot think of a quicker way of upgrading oneself. Many of the other fundamentals take some time. Working on your voice will take some time, getting good at social skills and power dynamics will take even some more time. And increasing your status and income at work will take even longer.

But outfits and style?
With a few weeks you can revolutionize yourself.
And the effects are quick and big.


I personally prefer classy for higher power

Personally, I prefer to be slightly more on the classier / conservative side.

One because the tattered clothes and leather jackets work better on younger guys, or rockers.
And two, because it's higher power.

Trendy and hip clothes say "I'm cool, and I go against the grain of society".
Classy says "I'm a gentleman, and I got status within society".

The latter has a larger appeal, and it's higher power in more situations than the former.

If you got whatever issue in life, from the small ones (your credit card not working), to bigger ones (police involved), the style that communicates "status within society" provides you with social proof, and people tend to trust you more -and to close one eye more often-.
The style that communicates "hip against the grain of society" instead goes against you.

The Larger Appeal of "Classy" in Dating

I went out with plenty of women who we were more on the artsy/hipster/rebel end of the spectrum.

Even a "dark/emo" woman, not long ago.

Because women are women, and almost all women appreciate what communicates status and power.

But the other way around, albeit also possible of course, is far more challenging. A hipster will face bigger hurdles with professional women.

Answering Your Questions

  1. Do you focus more on the material and color and less on the fit since you will adjust it later? Shirts & pants I do either made to measure, or tailored, so they are going to be a good fit, hence I focus on all of them equally. For t-shirts and garments that I don't tailor, like T-shirts, scarves, and hats, then yes, I focus more on how they look and the material. And yes, I then take whatever is not a great fit to a tailor (I also brought a flat cap once, was the first time for him, but he did it well :).
  2. How did you find a good tailor? They can either be average (the one I have) or too expensive. Any tips? Some jobs are easy for any tailor. For example, shortening the pants or making your shirt smaller is a basic requirement and should be easy enough for most tailors. Working on heavier fabrics, like a coat, is a more challenging job, then it can pay off to go to a better and more expensive tailor. So yes, in Berlin I actually used two different ones depending on how difficult the job was. When it comes to making a garment from the ground up, I researched reviews and always preferred to for quality
  3. Do you tailor all your clothes or only some of them? I don't buy anything that is not a great fit. So it's either a great fit, or it's going to go through a tailor. When I moved to Korea and it was much colder, I was forced to buy a jacket. Not cheap at all and the closest good fit I could find. Not too bad, but still not good enough. So I already earmarked it as a gift for a friend of mine to whom I know it will fit even better. My policy is that if it's not a great fit and it can't be fixed, I don't buy it.

 

Kavalier has reacted to this post.
Kavalier
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Thank you Lucio for your detailed answer. This opened my mind to new possibilities.

To further this conversation. I bought a long time ago a great course on how to be a sexy man, relating to clothes. The author breaks down the sexy styles for a man in 5 archetypes, according to your most important values (it might sound a bit artificial, but I think it does work).

  • Edgy: the archetypal bad boy, think Marlon Brando in the Wild One. Values: Freedom, sex appeal.
  • Edgy elegant: the same as above but dressed up. Values: Status, sex appeal.
  • Smart Casual: classical-modern style, you know it right ;). Values: Status, approval.
  • Masculine-Rugged: the rough and tough guy, protecting and reassuring to women. Think Josh Brolin or Chris Hemsworth. Values: Dominance, freedom.
  • Sharp: you know what I'm talking about. The Yakusas, the high-powered executive, the Godfather, the elite people. Values: Status, dominance.

Based on that classification, I went for Edgy as a basic for my wardrobe. As most free-thinkers do, just like you I like to go for women who are "interesting", meaning they think by themselves and explore life instead of following tradition. That was my strategy.

I realized a few months ago that in my context of where I live, it's the upper-middle class ("petite bourgeoisie": doctors, engineers, professors, etc) who are setting the norm. So when I travel with my "rebel" style, it's fitting. But in my context, not so much. So I decided to go for smart casual as a base for the day-to-day life. I'm afraid it will push away the kind of women I like but deep down I'm still the same.

So I'm coming to the same conclusion as you did. Showing status through your clothes is a 80/20 strategy. It works for 80% of situations. As the style rule says: it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.

What are your sources of inspiration for style and clothing? I noticed you do have some flash AND smash.

Kavalier has reacted to this post.
Kavalier

Yeah, exactly, you got it.

When I say "classy" the last thing I mean is a stodgy dark suit that makes you look like a boring stuck-up (argh!).

I mean more something like this:

picture of lucio buffalmano, founder of ThePowerMoves

I was not a fan of the peacocking thing of PUA because they overdid in overly silly ways (I remember reading an ebook where the author recommended to go clubbing with an emergency signaling light on yourself to attract the most attention 😀 ).

BUT the concept itself is true.
You do want to stand out a little bit and in socially intelligent fashion.

On Seeking Inspiration

I personally don't actively seek much inspiration.

In part, because now I know what I like, so when I naturally stumble upon it, I just think "that's awesome, should I go for something similar?".
If so, then I snap a picture or write it down.

And the second reason I don't actively seek inspiration is that I don't change my clothes very often.

I got a few combinations I like, and cycle through those (when traveling I only have a carry-on luggage with just 2 outfits inside and 2 white shirts).
Big wardrobes are unnecessary. Clothes DO matter, but you can be efficient there too. Once you got the things you really like, more investment will cost a lot of time but only bring little more benefits.

 

John Freeman and Kavalier have reacted to this post.
John FreemanKavalier
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Makes sense. Thanks!

I can vouch for a tailored suit.
Especially at business conferences where you are meeting lots of new high-status people.

Couple of years ago, I was aiming to get sales meetings with lawyers in London where I was a nobody in the legal industry.
It was intimidating.
But my tailored navy blue suit did help me fake confidence and status.
And even do some of the talking when I stumbled on words from time to time.
Putting on the suit in the morning was a cue to "hustle through the day".

I did not do that well unfortunately.
But at least the suit gave me the confidence to open some doors, which helped me learn from experience.
Certainly some status as well.

That suit is still with me today.
Quality, bespoke suits do last.

Capsule Wardrobe

I personally like the concept of a capsule wardrobe, following from Lucio's point on efficient wardrobes.
Where most of the pieces can go together easily.
So it does not take much thought to dress sharply in the morning.

First I experimented with colours using off-the-rack suits, shirts & trousers.
The following works well with my skin colour:
Grey, navy, khaki, & brown.

Then I bought the off-the-shelf pieces that I liked and went to a tailor to alter the suits, shirts & trousers.
After trying these pieces out for a few weeks, I went to a nearby tailor to make a bespoke suit.
Never regretted since.

Lucio Buffalmano and Kavalier have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoKavalier

I love the capsule concept!

These days I adopt this mindset:

For me to be interested in buying something it must be a 9 or a 10.
If it's not a 9 or a 10, it's going to be clutter soon.

It's win-win-win, even the environment wins, consumerism is bad for you, for your wallet, and for the world's pollution (OK, maybe the seller doesn't win, but I like the concept of "happy degrowth")

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hello everyone!

At first I considered opening a new topic asking about dressing for power, as I recently decided to upgrade my style and find an image for myself, and bought this course https://sexystyleforjoe.teachable.com/ (What a surprise to discover it's the same course you are talking about, John! Are you finding good value in it?), but you guys already started a very high level discussion within this very topic. I believe these archetypes are worth discussing and it draw interesting parallels to Lucio’s thought-provoking article “10 Types of Male Seducers: Pick Your Niche!” on the blog, so I'd like to explore it more a little bit.

I would like to know you guy’s thoughts especially on two questions:

1) how important is it to consider the venue when dressing for power?

2) how important is "dressing taller" for power?

On the first question: I'm still halfway through Power University, but I get the sense that it's a good idea to tone up or down the appearance of power so as to mingle in, but still be one level above the crowd.

At first I was drawn to the "Edgy" archetype just like John. As I read Lucio's compelling argument for dressing in a more classy way and John's own successful experience with "smart casual", I also decided to go for a "smart casual" for my working wardrobe and most situations but keep a few "elegant/edgy" staples for nights out, since I still enjoy going to concerts and rock bars. "Elegant/edgy" tends to throw classy items on an otherwise rebellious look like this https://br.pinterest.com/sexystyleforjoe/the-wow-factor-elegant-edgy/. Would it be a good way to show higher power in this kind of environment, or do you guys recommend me just to stick to smart/casual? Also would you guys consider I would be better served by sticking to this image all the time, or does it make sense to dress "elegant/edgy" on my leasure time once in a while just to hint at a slightly different image, and so potentially also attract women in the "rebel" spectrum?

I also tend to keep a distance from the "Rugged/Masculine" archetype. It apparently tries to leverage an american working class manly man stereotype, and that seems to be less powerful than classier styles, although I can see it has its public.

"Sharp" looks the more powerful one. The only caveat is that I'm currently working as a high school teacher and wearing a suit is way too overdressed. My colleagues wear only jeans, sneakers and t-shirts to work. I guess suiting up would come out as too incongruent with such an entry level position, it would make me less relatable, and potentially prone to lots of shit testing. I can't see the benefits of dressing sharper than my boss.

On the second question: As a 1,68 m male (5.5 ft for you guys who use the wrong system of  measurement ;-p), I often see as an advice to avoid contrast between lower/upper body and keep the outfits mostly monochromatic. That makes for a tradeoff between stylishness and appearance of tallness, because it tends to make my wardrobe less interchangeable (grey trousers and navy sports jacket would be a big no no), and it makes it very hard to dress both stylishly and tall. Also doesn’t trying to dress tall give away the game to those who can read through the conventions? I mean, when standing side by side everyone can see I’m more on the shorter side and trying to look taller could reek of insecurity. On the other side of the coin, couldn’t I just own my height and gain back some points in stylishness by playing with different combinations?

Thank you guys!

Lucio Buffalmano and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood

Hey Kavalier,

I don't see any issue in dressing monochromatically for making one look taller. I doubt anyone would ever think "he dressed monochromatically to look taller".

Edgy has its place, but it also depends a lot on the place, the type of guy, and the type of girl, of course.

Otherwise, I confirm what you're already saying.

It's a bit of a myth perpetuated by pick-up communities that (all) guys would gain in looking "badder".

In truth, like most things, it's situational.
So, yes, the venue, together with the above-mentioned variables, is hugely important.

Guys who are already framed as "bad", or who look bad, or who are moving in more refined circles and/or in risk-averse dating marketplaces are likely going to make it harder on themselves in seeking a "badder" look.
With that look, they'd have to double down on coming across as relatable and as "friendly" on the first meet. Doable, and at that point, the "edgy" look might also provide an advantage.

But it's much easier and effective to convey power with more "socially sanctioned" styles.
The power is there, and without the downsides.

On that frame, then throwing something a bit different and "edgy" is totally fine -a wooden bracelet with an exotic destination, an ankle's pendant, a necklace pendant, sunglasses on your head, rings, etc.-, and probably a great added touch.

Matthew Whitewood and Kavalier have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodKavalier
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

P.S.: just realized it was your first post, so welcome to the forum 🙂

Matthew Whitewood and Kavalier have reacted to this post.
Matthew WhitewoodKavalier
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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