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Tagline: "learning darkness, to preserve the light"

Thanks to Ali and a previous discussion that put the "seed" down, today it dawned on me there is a crucial running theme in TPM.

And that approach, generally speaking, is that you want to:

Learn the "dark" (aspects of life and socialization), so that you can empower your light.

Expressed in "cruder" and less quote-worthy terms: learn the darker side, without becoming an asshole.

That value was already expressed "Dating Power Dynamics".
But at that time I hadn't recognized that it was a theme common to the whole website.

In the introduction to that ebook I quoted Nietsche:

If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.

The quote expressed the risks of learning the "quantitative" side of dating, as well the more manipulative side of dating.

And then turned that risk with another quote that better represented the positive objective of the ebook:

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

Such as: "learn the darker side, while still pursuing the light".

I think that's one of the central values/themes of TPM.

You can see it in several of the more general articles on mindsets/philosophies/life approaches:

  • Positive cynicism: develop cynicism, without becoming overly cynic
  • Enlightened collaborator: grow aware of the dangers of collaboration and value takers, while still seeking collaboration with the worthy ones (and protecting your downsides)
  • Enlightened individualism: develop a healthy self-centeredness / self-interest, without becoming a wholly selfish asshole. And you'll be it will make you more effective in life, and add far more value to society than if you were a naive altruist
  • Machiavellianism: the upcoming article is also about acquiring Machiavellian traits, without turning into a cold machine

The whole TPM is about "learn to acquire power and achieve goals, without turning into a dickhead, and while remaining a pleasant and value-adding individual".

Thoughts?

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
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P.S.:

I think that this unstated theme running through TPM is one of the reasons why most people who stick around here tend to be value-adding, high-quality folks that you'd want to have as friends.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Learning Darkness, to Preserve the Light

I think it covers half the essence of this website.
People may get the impression that the course is heavily geared towards the dark side of power.
It may not capture the importance of learning about the value-adding techniques like collaborative frames, saving people's face, power-protecting etc.

Or maybe I misunderstood because combating darkness towards the light should be the focal point.
Since it's relatively easier to find materials on the value-adding side of power dynamics.
Arguably, it's also more challenging to master the darker side of power dynamics.

I cannot think of the best words.
This comes to mind:

Darkness and the light are 2 sides of the same coin.
Learn both to choose wisely.

Or maybe

Moulding the light amidst the darkness

Quantitative Side of Dating

The quote expressed the risks of learning the "quantitative" side of dating

Is the quantitative side of dating considered darker?
I haven't thought about this in sufficient detail.

Maybe it's because the "quantitative" side of dating is less about feelings which may make some people not like it so much.

Machiavellianism

Machiavellianism: the upcoming article is also about acquiring Machiavellian traits, without turning into a cold machine

I'm thinking that Putin is the archetype of a Machiavellian, cold machine.

I think that this unstated theme running through TPM is one of the reasons why most people who stick around here tend to be value-adding, high-quality folks that you'd want to have as friends.

Happy to be friends with lots of people here :).

Lucio Buffalmano and Ali Scarlett have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoAli Scarlett

Thank you Matthew: precious and wonderful feedback.

On the "quantitative" side what I meant is that if one starts focusing only on the "exchange" point of view, then he might lose tract of the more "human" side.
Such, for example, wanting to do favors without returns, or feelings that can develop and transcend the more calculative nature of the exchange.
When that happens, he might become a colder, more "arid" individual.
Instead, the goal should be to combine both of them (doing a video on a similar topic soon).

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

"Learning darkness to preserve the light," my favorite one so far!

I see a lot of overlaps:

  • "Learning [the] bad to preserve the good."
  • "Learning power to preserve the warmth." (= since warmth without power is seen as weakness)
  • "Learning power to preserve the [your] future." (= since learning power now can light someone's path with a way to reach their potential in the future)
  • "Learning power to preserve the world." (= more powerful, enlightened collaborators means a better world for all)

Along with the mindsets/philosophies/life approaches Lucio noted above.

 

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Thank you, Ali!

Maybe not yet tagline, but I've already added this concept to the list of "values" in the "Start Here" page.

Ali Scarlett has reacted to this post.
Ali Scarlett
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