The Love List: A Guide to Getting Who You Want (Book by Elena Murzello)

#1 · February 12, 2020, 3:57 am

Hi Lucio,

I looked at your book summaries/reviews and wanted to give a recommendation for one I did not see:

The Love List: A Guide to Getting Who You Want (Book by Elena Murzello)

"Elena Murzello cannot imagine going to the grocery store without a list. As she strolls through the aisles, she relies on her list to make sure she gets her must-haves and to help keep her from grabbing items she does not need. It was with this theory in mind that, at age twenty-one, she created a list of characteristics for a potential lifelong mate that still guides her love choices to this day." - Google Play Books

Now, in her book, she uses a list to weed out the men she does not want. I understand that this may not apply the same way for most men (since most men determine which women they want to take an interest in based on looks).

Here is a quick look at one of the lists she's made:

I'd also like your thoughts on whether or not you think a list like this is a good idea searching for a long-term partner.

Thanks,

Ali

#2 · February 12, 2020, 4:00 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 12, 2020, 4:00 pm
Thanks for flagging it mate!

I checked it on Amazon and unluckily it doesn't seem to come on ebook or audiobook.

I think lists are a very good idea.

They do a few great things for you.

They get you in the mindset of being the chooser, and they focus your attention.

When you have a clear idea of what you want, you also avoid the risk of being one of those PUAs who runs around chasing any skirt. That's the low-quality way of being a player because it communicates one has no standard.

No woman likes that type of guy -and no other men would allow him to climb hierarchies-.

And last but not least, if you draft that list well, you increase the odds of finding a partner you truly get along.
And picking the right partner might the most important decision you make in life. A strong partner empowers you emotionally, financially, and makes you happier (solid relationship have been proven to be the single most important indicator of happiness and even health).
A bad partner disempowers you emotionally, financially, and makes you unhappier.

Quote from 01ascarlett on February 12, 2020, 3:57 am

(since most men determine which women they want to take an interest in based on looks).

Looks are very important, but when it comes to long-term, men also become a bit more like women in the sense that they seek more qualities beyond looks.

And that's how smart men should choose.
A great but lessers known book I've recently read about choosing the right partner is called "Attract the Right Girl". I think the author speaks from experience as he is very proud of his woman, and he makes truly great points. The few times I felt like saying "wow, this is truly a great woman to be close to", it felt exactly like the auhtor describes (for example: she makes you feel like you matter, she encourages you do more because she believes in you, she makes sure you got your own spaces to recharge your batteries, she holds you to your word, etc.)

Thanks for flagging it mate!

I checked it on Amazon and unluckily it doesn't seem to come on ebook or audiobook.

I think lists are a very good idea.

They do a few great things for you.

They get you in the mindset of being the chooser, and they focus your attention.

When you have a clear idea of what you want, you also avoid the risk of being one of those PUAs who runs around chasing any skirt. That's the low-quality way of being a player because it communicates one has no standard.

No woman likes that type of guy -and no other men would allow him to climb hierarchies-.

And last but not least, if you draft that list well, you increase the odds of finding a partner you truly get along.
And picking the right partner might the most important decision you make in life. A strong partner empowers you emotionally, financially, and makes you happier (solid relationship have been proven to be the single most important indicator of happiness and even health).
A bad partner disempowers you emotionally, financially, and makes you unhappier.

Quote from 01ascarlett on February 12, 2020, 3:57 am

(since most men determine which women they want to take an interest in based on looks).

Looks are very important, but when it comes to long-term, men also become a bit more like women in the sense that they seek more qualities beyond looks.

And that's how smart men should choose.
A great but lessers known book I've recently read about choosing the right partner is called "Attract the Right Girl". I think the author speaks from experience as he is very proud of his woman, and he makes truly great points. The few times I felt like saying "wow, this is truly a great woman to be close to", it felt exactly like the auhtor describes (for example: she makes you feel like you matter, she encourages you do more because she believes in you, she makes sure you got your own spaces to recharge your batteries, she holds you to your word, etc.)

Check the forum guidelines for effective communication.
---
(Book a call) for personalized & private feedback