Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 24, 2022, 9:18 am

Yeah, some great stuff on this thread.

Quote from Kavalier on April 23, 2022, 8:31 pm

What if, instead, of insisting on the movie thing, you suggested something else? There were many routes you could have taken when she suggested walking that would have kept your leadership. It could have been Growfast's suggestions. Or you could have taken the judge role and said something along the lines of "No worries, walking is a great idea. There is this place bla bla bla I'd like to visit...". The key is: you suggest where you two will do the walking (that is, if you are into walking). Or you could dismiss walking altogether and suggest something else "That's a great idea, but I don't feel like walking that much. What do you say of doing X instead?". The key is: what you are doing here is taking into account the preferences of both you, and at the same time creating a dynamic where she feels comfortable to express her feelings and desires without giving up leadership.

After this you just the run SU model as usual.

Yes, this is golden.

Such as: you make no big deal out of it, but also make sure you remain in the lead.

And if you were into walking, just to stay in the lead, you can propose where/when to walk (align first, then lead second). And may be even add "there is this nice ice cream parlor we can stop at, but let's see about that".

Quote from Growfast on April 20, 2022, 4:33 pm

When she explained about why she liked to walk and not watch a movie best way is you can try to see her real concern and try solving it to achieve your goals.

Yes, this is also good.

Still a risk in my opinion because once you go down that "solve the issue and convince you of my way" path the choices are:

1. You convince her
2. You do not convince her and have to "settle" and take a step back (ie.: you "failed" in your attempt, a bad precedent)

You know better the situation and the odds but, generally speaking, I'd say #2 was at least a real possibility and a risk you didn't need to take since meeting outside first was not going to hurt you in any significant way.

Edit:
Of course it also depends on your interest levels, goals, and preferences.
If you have lots of options, if you're very busy, or if for whatever reason you're only willing to date her at your place, Growfast's approach is great (but then, also your higher-dominance approach is fair enough as long as you know and are cool with the odds being quite low).
If you wanted to maximize the odds, I'd personally have gone for the "align and lead" and met outside, near to your place.

Quote from hunter on April 21, 2022, 12:07 am

Any thoughts on whether I’ve actually gained power even though it’s derailed, or am I low power because it’s derailed? She’s probably thinking I’m an arsehole, is being an “arsehole” - calling people out but pissing them off - high power? The reason I’m asking because I will likely see her again, we’re at the same studio, so I’m curious how the power lands after going meta but derailing (lose lose).

You're high dominance, but "high dominance" isn't always and necessarily a great thing (as in this case).

Yes', you said it, she probably thinks of you as an asshole and may have bad associations and feelings when seeing you, but hey, as Kavalier says... Not the end of the world.
And especially not if it's an isolated case and you have a good reputation.

You can also improve things by talking to her as soon as you see her again.
Maybe even surface this issue and end saying "it's all good on my side, I hope you too?".

Generally speaking though, you want to be more careful/strategic with women (or people in general) who are in your (extended) social circle.