Unexpected requests for which you need to reply on the spot

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 4, 2021, 7:27 pm

Quote from Transitioned on April 3, 2021, 8:45 pm

Btw if we want to conceptualise/generalize the technique could it be 'limiting the requst'?   E.g. if it will only take 5 minutes I can help you out.

Good input.

A first draft on generalizing the principles:

1. Default to no: switch from "default to yes" to "default to no". You can also think of some rules when "defaulting to no". For example: solicitors at your own home, situation that smells fishy, or when you're busy doing something
2. Consciously take pressure off yourself: Remind yourself: "I can say no" and "it's OK to think it over"
3. Ask questions: if it's not clear and/or if you want more time to think, ask questions.
   1.  Say "hmmm, sounds like it's quite some effort": if it starts sounding like it takes your time or effort, say it! Put the pressure on them to get your buy in, not the other way around (as per Transitioned's example). In a way, you're in a social negotiation, and it's fair to balance it (social exchange). So if they really want it, they ought to compensate you fairly
4. Say you're thinking: if you need time to think, communicate out loud "I'm thinking" (as per John)
5. If you can't make a decision, say you need more time: remember that people pressuring you might be part of a manipulative, value-taking effort. Never make decisions under pressure. As a matter of fact, the rule of thumb is "the more pressure I feel, the more strongly I must deny"