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Values: the value of writing them down

Hello guys,

I believe this to be a very important topic. We all value different things in a different order of priority at different times in our lives in different circumstances. However, I believe that it is important to take some time to write them down by order of importance. I learned this from Tony Robbins something like 20 years ago (time flies), it served me well and it still does. I'll give step-by-step-instructions on how to do this.

After writing them down, I print them and have them displayed in my bathroom to read them at all times. I updated today with the value "value-adding" as you can see in this thread. You can also see in this thread the importance of having written them down: it helped me to identify a conflict of values (success vs honesty in this case, I think).

Level 1: 6 core needs

This is based on Tony Robbins' theory about 6 core human needs that we all have. I started to do this when Tony Robbins gave the example that he was not happy at some point in his life and he realized that it was because he prioritized passion over family/connection if I remember well. He re-arranged the priorities of his values and got a different outcome. I experienced the same.

Example below: I changed Connection and put it above Contribution a few months ago as I was tired to be "all-in" on my mission and not having the social life I wanted. I can tell you it changed a lot.

1. Growth
2. Connection/Love
3. Contribution/Service
4. Uncertainty
5. Significance
6. Certainty

This will get you started and will give you clarity on your values.

Level 2: your own values

This is more of a free-flowing exercise.

  1. Write between 3 and 10 values that are important to you, the less you have the more clarity you will have. It's important to aim for internal values (courage, integrity) than external ones (money, success) because you don't control the latter (stoic mindset). It can be a phrase or a thing or a concept, whatever you value. Time: 5-15 min.
  2. Order them by priority. To do this, for each value imagine a situation where there is a conflict between 2 values and decide which one is on top for you. It has to be your logic, not everyone else's. Time: 15-30 min.

Example: Health, Wisdom, Virtue

Is it more important for me to be healthy or wise? healthy because if I'm unhealthy I cannot be of help to the World. So I prefer to be healthy and unwise than unhealthy and wise.

  1. Health
  2. Wisdom

Is it more important for me to be wise or virtuous? It is more important for me to be virtuous than wise because I choose to be a force of good in the World. So I prefer to be virtuous and unwise than unvirtuous and wise. (I know this is debatable as in "being virtuous is being wise", bear with me)

  1. Health
  2. Virtue
  3. Wisdom

Is it imore important for me to be virtuous or healthy? Same reasoning as above. I prefer to be healthy and non-virtuous than virtuous and non-healthy. So this would be your final value system:

  1. Health
  2. Virtue
  3. Wisdom

And you can do this for the 3-10 values you have. This will give you a lot of clarity on what you value. Just having this written down will give you a strength in all things in Life because you will know what you stand for. 

I did my best to add value 😉

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano

Very helpful, thank you John!

I went through the same tape I think and did the same exercise.

What really helped me back then was to deprioritize "freedom" as a value, which for me was #1.
It made me suffer to do anything I didn't exactly want to do, because "I wasn't being free". When I de-listed "freedom", I did so knowing that I do was free.
And if I wanted to not do anything, I could. But ultimately, I was doing those things because they were good for me, and I chose them to. I was always free to change my mind, though.

That realization, and that change, made me far happier.

By the way, there are a few summaries of Robbin's products here, and I think the one we are referring to is called "Personal Power II" -or, at least, there was a similar exercise in there- :

And "creating lasting change" was also good.

 

John Freeman has reacted to this post.
John Freeman
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

I updated today with the value "value-adding" as you can see in this thread. You can also see in this thread the importance of having written them down: it helped me to identify a conflict of values (success vs honesty in this case, I think).

This should be with the correct link:

I updated today with the value "value-adding" as you can see in this thread. You can also see in this thread the importance of having written them down: it helped me to identify a conflict of values (success vs honesty in this case, I think).

Hello Lucio, glad you like it and that you went through the same process of change! Thanks for the links! I think you might be the first person I met who read as much if not more personal development books than me.

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