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Very large tips: the power dynamics of "owning"
Some aspects of power dynamics work on two different realms: both kindness -or "surface" kindness- and power.
Most people see the kindness, but sometimes fail to see the power in it.
That's what we saw in "hidden power moves".
Tipping, which I hadn't originally considered, also fits in that category.
This is what linguistics researchers Deborah Tannen says about it:
The double meaning of generosity explains an observation that initially surprised me: (...) waitresses in a restaurant chain were offended not only by tips that were too small, but also by tips that were too large.
They felt that a customer leaving an unusually large tip was implying that the amount of money left was insignificant to the tipper but significant to the waitress. And this they found insulting.
Mafia Tipping
That's what the character of Jimmy in the movie "Goodfellas" does, throwing money around to display power.
https://youtu.be/GP2tWxCtxqU?t=25s
It's a movie, but plenty of people act similarly to Jimmy in real life
You'll notice Jimmy does not give money to powerful people. He knows better: powerful people would be offended and he'd make enemies. Everyone he gives money to, it's the equivalent of saying "you're below me". And the people who accept the money are indirectly accepting their lower status.
Most of them know they are anyway, and are cool with that. So it's not offensive to them.
The power layer of giving money is also the why you usually don't want to give money to a friend or a family member who's helping you out. When the relationship is closer, you want it to be motivated by mutual liking and the unwritten rule that you'd do the same. You will likely pay it back, but with another act of kindness, not money.
That's good close relationships function.
As Daniel Pink well explains in "Drive", when you bring money into the equation, you make the relationship more about colder tit-for-tat, and about power. And you don't want that for your closest relationships.
Driving Around, Giving Money for Charity... Or Power Marketing?
That's why some people find videos of guys driving around and giving money to homeless -or random people- distasteful.
It might be charity.
But it's also a power move.
Those who get offended, are focusing on the power dimension.
Those who say "he's being kind" are focusing on the transfer of money to a poorer individual.
When you record it and put it YouTube, you skew the act towards power, though. Especially if you're a marketer and selling something -like Tai Lopez did, for example-.
The message also becomes "look how rich and powerful I am" (unstated: if you buy my products, you might just become the same).
Look at the power dynamics of that: "millionaire gives the homeless a little hope".
That's so demeaning for the receiver, that someone's crumbles give you "a little hope", which indirectly says you're fucking hopeless.
Plus the obvious marketing of "crypto millionaire" right when he was selling crypto courses.
Charity vultures, in my opinion.
