Quote from SocialPower on February 9, 2022, 8:45 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 9, 2022, 7:17 pm

Hey SP,

Difficult to advise not being there.

You mention harsh rejections, but write little of the rejection itself, and from what you write... They don't seem that harsh to me.

Harsh would be more something like "eeeew, no" or "nooo, I don't like you" or any reaction that sub-communicates disgust towards either you or intimacy.

And albeit escalation that doesn't lead to sex often are the end of an interaction -but not always-, it also doesn't seem to be that case because she kept chasing you, rather than writing you off.

And the second time out seem to be the bigger issue to me.

At that point, I'd have busted out the "serious, no more games" convo:

Look, we've been here already once, and now it's twice.
I think it's obvious that if we're, here, we like each other.
And when two people like each other, they go along with the flow.
I like you personally, but I'm also looking for chemistry and sexual chemistry.

Such as:

Stop playing this "later" game because I'm losing interest and attraction.

Chances are that she'd try to convince you to that yes, she likes you, but...

And now you might be able to surface the issue.

8.5 times out of 10, you'd probably go forward and have sex, and she'd be happy she did it.

And if the issues she surfaces is really that big, then you chill back and say "cool, then we're friends" and drop any escalation or sexual tone (and of those left that didn't proceed, a few will proceed at this point).

How to take it from there, difficult to say from the outside.

But I'd:

1. Not invite her out anymore
2. Wait if she contacts you / invite you out
3. Tell her to cook something she likes and you'll do something she likes and you'll enjoy at your place with a wine
4. Proceed to treat her like a GF when she's there, and move to sex

If it doesn't happen now, it should probably be goodbye for good in most scenarios (with some rare exceptions still applying, like huge sexual hangups, previous traumas, super strict religious background, etc.).

Thanks for answer! That is solid. Thanks also to everyone. Learned a lot here.