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When to share Power University (& when not to)

#1 · August 26, 2021, 4:54 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 26, 2021, 4:54 pm
We've talked about whether or not to share TPM.

And several people commented on how they changed their mind about sharing/not sharing TPM.

But we haven't systematically analyzed when/how to share it.
Or if to share it at all.

So here's this thread.

Abundance VS Scarcity: Abundance Is Better, But Don't Be Naive

I remember 2 comments on a TPM YouTube video.

Can't find it anymore, possibly it's been deleted.

Anyway, it was something like this:

(video asks to like and share)
Guy 1: Great video, but I'd rather not share this information. Sames goes for the blog. Sorry to say that, but I think you can understand
Guy 2: That's a scarcity mindset. Much better to adopt an abundance mindset. There is more than enoguh for everyone

Guy 1 might have been overly defensive indeed.

Guy 2 probably has a healthier mindset.
More optimistic, and more focused on opportunities rather than threats.

But if he takes it too far, he might cross into naive.
And that point, it harms him more than helping him.

When Overly Defensive Is Disempowering

It's disempowering to be fearful or threatened by empowered individuals.

It often goes together with a scarcity mindset.

A scarcity mindset sees the world as a zero-sum game.
You live in a zero-sum world when someone else's success prevents your success.

Obviously, the world is generally NOT a zero-sum game.

BUT some specific environments and relationships can be (read on).

General Rule = More Empowerment Is Better

As a general rule, a world of empowered individuals is a better world.

More people know how to establish win-win and achieve their goals.
These people produce more and enlarge the pie for everyone else.

Fewer people need to cheat and manipulate to get what they want.
And when more people can spot and deal with cheats and manipulators, that type of behavior also doesn't pay.
So it tends to disappear.

And when you become a high-quality individual, you're better off if you can find and meet many other high-quality individuals.

Share When:

In healthy groups

People and groups who tend to be value-adding become more value-adding and effective when they learn power dynamics.

You might also try to share it in toxic group, since people who recognize their value-taking and turkey behavior sometimes change for the better.

When their win is your win

If interests align, then their win is your win.
Just make sure they're also generally moral folks, or they might turn against you when the incentives won't perfectly align anymore.

With friends and allies: more power in your allies, more power to you

With business partners: their power is your power

As a display of honesty:

It's an act of trust to open up and share about a topic that some might consider as a strategic tool to win and compete.

And just like sharing any other personal detail, it can also help start a virtuous cycle of honest communication

As a display of personal strength

Fearful folks hide their learning.

They're afraid you could learn the same, and be on the same level.

So when you're open and honest about your self-development, especially if it's about power/status/seduction topics, it shows self-confidence.

As a display of honesty

To give value

Good self-development information is extremely valuable.
So sharing is a way of giving.
Just make sure you share with some proper marketing so you collect your due social credit :).

When there's something in it for you: obviously 🙂

As well as in relation to personal-development stages:

When you're becoming an eagle: then what some turkeys think or does won't matter nearly as much to you

When you're ready to cross the Rubicon: the moment you feel free to share your power-related learning is a major step in owning who you are

When you want to self-signal: your actions can help shape who you are. When you share something you initially fear sharing you can then look back and say "I've done it. I'm a more courageous and honest person now"

Don't Share When:

With generally value-taking people: the same people you wouldn't be friend, in a relationship, or in business with. The more power these people have, the more power they have to take value from you. Even if you're in win-win with them, they might one day turn on you:

Overly-competitive / zero-sum types

Overly-cynical

Frenemies / jealous

Narcissists, Machiavellians, etc.

Close-minded: they don't think they have anything to learn

People you don't yet know or trust: when in doubt, err on the safe side

When you're still learning: someone might try to frame you as Machiavellian / manipulative when you share. When you're still learning you might not know how to handle that yet

In competitive environments where someone's win can mean you don't win: for example, at work where you're competing for a promotion

With people who stop at the surface: they might open TPM, see Machiavelli first, and think "uh-oh, this is not for me"

But Beware That You Don't Self-Signal Fear

But watch out on not being overly cautious around "hiding it".

Over-caution might be a red flag of a deeper issue you need to address (scarcity mindset, fear, or maybe even a poor group of people you need to leave behind).

Also, the more you focus on hiding, the more you self-signal that you need to be in fear of other empowered individuals.

A better attitude about not sharing is "I'm not sharing it because it's not the right place and not the right people. But if someone finds out while I'm browsing it, whatever, I'll own it and be cool with it".

We've talked about whether or not to share TPM.

And several people commented on how they changed their mind about sharing/not sharing TPM.

But we haven't systematically analyzed when/how to share it.
Or if to share it at all.

So here's this thread.

Abundance VS Scarcity: Abundance Is Better, But Don't Be Naive

I remember 2 comments on a TPM YouTube video.

Can't find it anymore, possibly it's been deleted.

Anyway, it was something like this:

(video asks to like and share)
Guy 1: Great video, but I'd rather not share this information. Sames goes for the blog. Sorry to say that, but I think you can understand
Guy 2: That's a scarcity mindset. Much better to adopt an abundance mindset. There is more than enoguh for everyone

Guy 1 might have been overly defensive indeed.

Guy 2 probably has a healthier mindset.
More optimistic, and more focused on opportunities rather than threats.

But if he takes it too far, he might cross into naive.
And that point, it harms him more than helping him.

When Overly Defensive Is Disempowering

It's disempowering to be fearful or threatened by empowered individuals.

It often goes together with a scarcity mindset.

A scarcity mindset sees the world as a zero-sum game.
You live in a zero-sum world when someone else's success prevents your success.

Obviously, the world is generally NOT a zero-sum game.

BUT some specific environments and relationships can be (read on).

General Rule = More Empowerment Is Better

As a general rule, a world of empowered individuals is a better world.

More people know how to establish win-win and achieve their goals.
These people produce more and enlarge the pie for everyone else.

Fewer people need to cheat and manipulate to get what they want.
And when more people can spot and deal with cheats and manipulators, that type of behavior also doesn't pay.
So it tends to disappear.

And when you become a high-quality individual, you're better off if you can find and meet many other high-quality individuals.

Share When:

In healthy groups

People and groups who tend to be value-adding become more value-adding and effective when they learn power dynamics.

You might also try to share it in toxic group, since people who recognize their value-taking and turkey behavior sometimes change for the better.

When their win is your win

If interests align, then their win is your win.
Just make sure they're also generally moral folks, or they might turn against you when the incentives won't perfectly align anymore.

With friends and allies: more power in your allies, more power to you
With business partners: their power is your power
As a display of honesty:

It's an act of trust to open up and share about a topic that some might consider as a strategic tool to win and compete.

And just like sharing any other personal detail, it can also help start a virtuous cycle of honest communication

As a display of personal strength

Fearful folks hide their learning.

They're afraid you could learn the same, and be on the same level.

So when you're open and honest about your self-development, especially if it's about power/status/seduction topics, it shows self-confidence.

As a display of honesty
To give value

Good self-development information is extremely valuable.
So sharing is a way of giving.
Just make sure you share with some proper marketing so you collect your due social credit :).

When there's something in it for you: obviously 🙂

As well as in relation to personal-development stages:

When you're becoming an eagle: then what some turkeys think or does won't matter nearly as much to you
When you're ready to cross the Rubicon: the moment you feel free to share your power-related learning is a major step in owning who you are
When you want to self-signal: your actions can help shape who you are. When you share something you initially fear sharing you can then look back and say "I've done it. I'm a more courageous and honest person now"

Don't Share When:

With generally value-taking people: the same people you wouldn't be friend, in a relationship, or in business with. The more power these people have, the more power they have to take value from you. Even if you're in win-win with them, they might one day turn on you:
- Overly-competitive / zero-sum types
- Overly-cynical
- Frenemies / jealous
- Narcissists, Machiavellians, etc.
- Close-minded: they don't think they have anything to learn
People you don't yet know or trust: when in doubt, err on the safe side
When you're still learning: someone might try to frame you as Machiavellian / manipulative when you share. When you're still learning you might not know how to handle that yet
In competitive environments where someone's win can mean you don't win: for example, at work where you're competing for a promotion
With people who stop at the surface: they might open TPM, see Machiavelli first, and think "uh-oh, this is not for me"

But Beware That You Don't Self-Signal Fear

But watch out on not being overly cautious around "hiding it".

Over-caution might be a red flag of a deeper issue you need to address (scarcity mindset, fear, or maybe even a poor group of people you need to leave behind).

Also, the more you focus on hiding, the more you self-signal that you need to be in fear of other empowered individuals.

A better attitude about not sharing is "I'm not sharing it because it's not the right place and not the right people. But if someone finds out while I'm browsing it, whatever, I'll own it and be cool with it".

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#2 · August 26, 2021, 5:39 pm

On Competition: It's Up to You, Not Them

First of all:

Your success is in your hands.

That's a good mindset to have.

And it's largely true as well.
Even in terms of strategizing around the competition, for example by searching for low-competition environments, that is still up to you.

The Learning Competition Isn’t Working Hard

When it comes to TPM and PU, this is a niche website.

And within this niche, only a tiny, tinny minority that stumbles here goes deeper into it.

Even of those who have the intention, few follow through.
More than once I've noticed that some users purchased PU and didn't even start it.
And few finish it.
Let alone internalize or take action on it.

From what I read from other authors, creators, and self-development circles, the same is true for most other self-development resources.

Turning the Tables: The "Natural" Competition Is Where It's At. YOU Are Underdog Catching Up

Finally, here's a different frame of looking at it:

If you want to go up, you should focus upward, not sideways.

And from what I've seen and experienced, most people at the top are naturally equipped with the basics of power intelligence and Machiavellianism (or both)

The top is more about naturals than learners.

So for many people who come here, it's a lot more about catching up before it even becomes about surpassing.

You are the real competition to the naturals 🙂

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#3 · August 27, 2021, 7:49 am

Sharing A Small Portion First if Uncertain

If uncertain, I usually share a book recommendation like Stealing the Corner's Office to see how the person responds.
Easier to share and explain in the context of office politics.
And I get to see the person's reaction too.

If he doesn't like it or maybe shows value-taking signs upon sharing, then it's time to stop sharing more.

Close-Minded

Close-minded: they don't think they have anything to learn

There seem to be quite a few closed-minded people.
Some power-aware people can be closed-minded too from what I have observed.
But again speaking out of the limited people I interact with.

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#4 · August 27, 2021, 11:15 am

Quote from Matthew Whitewood on August 27, 2021, 7:49 am

Close-minded: they don't think they have anything to learn

There seem to be quite a few closed-minded people.
Some power-aware people can be closed-minded too from what I have observed.
But again speaking out of the limited people I interact with.

Yep, definitely.

Many power-aware people are narcissists and power-cravers.

Narcissists have big ego, but not an antifragile ego.
They need that feeling and reassurance of "being better".
So they prefer instead the approach of "f*ck that new information, it might hurt my ego to know I can learn and improve". That leads to rejecting new out of ego-protecting, and that's a big part of being close-minded.

Of course, it's not just narcissists who operate that way.
It's most people.
Narcissists just have it more.

But hey, that's great news for everyone who is not close-minded :).

Edit:
And for those who actively take steps to combat that tendency.
Because, deep down, most of us have at least some elements of that ego-protection that shuts new information off.

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