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Why misogyny is so widespread and "normal"
Misogyny is on a spectrum.
And to have zero misogyny at all maybe the exception rather than the norm.
It's because:
- Psychology predisposes you to more failure than success because it makes you want partners above your SMV. But even with partners at your own SMV it's challenging, let alone with those higher
- Social media era may have made this worse
- Dating dynamics put the onus on you, from approaching to paying, to providing, to working on themselves to become higher-value. Many are OK with that, but it's understandable how some may resent it -especially in an era where otherwise everyone calls for "equality"-
- There is much room for cheating, hurting, and manipulating in relationships, so it's not uncommon for men to suffer. And manipulation rather than straight talk may be the norm, rather than the exception. One can change that, but it requires skill that very very few learn
- Psychology predisposes many to focus more on risks and negatives, than on the positives
- There are as many good women as bad ones. So, for many who can't yet see the signs and lead relationships it's basically a coin toss whether they end up with a great woman or... A not so great one.
And you never chose your mother, so that's another coin toss that may negatively predispose one towards women
Two more issues that have to do with culture include:
- There is no sympathy or understanding for misogynists. The narrative is "you suck", "you're bad". And albeit there is certainly many terrible and irrecoverable misogynists, many more may be turned around.
Much different than other mental issues where it's all about helping. I make big mea culpa here as I've done the same many times and only realize now - There are many manosphere circles that reinforce those tendencies while denying their misogyny. So people can spend time there, become even more misogynists, while they get to tell themselves it's all good.
Pretty much the same applies to women.
Maybe even more actually since feminism is encouraged.
And I'm jotting this down as a possible idea for a future post.
Thanks to John who inspired this reflection within me with this post -super courageous BTW!-
Thank you Lucio! (I was both surprised and honoured to read your note at the end, was going to comment any way).
I think the red pill has tons to teach but it's important to sort the good from the bad.
And as I think we all noticed, several members (Rollo, Myron) are misogynistic, others do not seem like it (Michael Sartain) or are closeted ones (don't think so).
So by letting misogynistic people influence us there's the risk of becoming one.
So to me it's like any dark thing (secret services, geopolitics, etc.) that I dipped my toes into (meaning: researched). It's to be done, but to be done for a short amount of time and lightly. Otherwise, there is the risk of being contaminated or becoming a cynic.
I want to know the truth. In this case about women. And the good sides I already know them. So more information is in what is hidden: the dark side. So to know more I have to look into the abyss.
So to me it's a matter of quantity to prevent the contamination.
Otherwise, as usual I think your analysis is accurate, mind-opening and quite wide. I think this could turn into an article for the blog as it's a topic that people could research on the Internet.
I'm a fellow traveller with John I want to understand women better to get along with them better and for better teaming. I'm very lucky in my home life that I have a good woman and we complement each other nicely.
Lucio if you are thinking of an article maybe one other area you could consider if you saw it useful is the market value inflation that social apps have brought. Ask any average looking girl to show you her inbox on bumble or whatever and you will see hundreds of messages.
Woman are approached all the time and have friends setting them up all the time so they only normally go on to the apps out of curiosity or if they are struggling.
Where as men seemed to reach for the apps first. Which leads to a very imbalanced market on line and a lot of men having bad experiences which make them bitter. Actually what is bad is their strategy not the women
Thank you for sharing Transitioned.
It maybe part of the issue, especially in some cases and for some people.
I personally don't see it as a major one though at the moment.
I mostly say that based on my experience, so it's not the best data.
I've had many dates and more via dating apps.
What gives me some confidence to generalize is that I'm definitely not a top 10%er in looks, so I'm not fully convinced that most women are there for validation.
As usual, I welcome being shown wrong.
So if anyone has had that experience, especially if they grew more bitter/angry with dating apps, happy to hear.
Personally, I made a tinder account when I saw how well my sister was doing it terms of matches. Funny enough, shortly after that experience I discovered the red pill. The fact that she found funny the amount of matches she was getting and how desperate men where as well as her surprise when I got no matches probably made my bitterness worse.
If I had made a tinder account after discovering how the sexual market works I would've probably not cared that much.
Where as men seemed to reach for the apps first. Which leads to a very imbalanced market on line and a lot of men having bad experiences which make them bitter. Actually what is bad is their strategy not the women
Can't say for other than genz/millenials , but I do agree in this when it's about young folks.
Thank you for sharing Power Duck, it's very helpful!
Interesting. You see a lot of guys whinging online about the experience but maybe that's a self-selecting sample.
I don't know how many woman are there for validation only no way of getting that data. From my own experience I do know that there are a lot of women who are willing to message back and for forever but never to meet up.  Could be you didn't make the cut or bots who knows.
Maybe rather than specifically the dating apps the market inflation is caused by social media apps generally.
Dating apps were good for me in terms of # of dates no complaints I had 2 ltrs with woman I met i online and dozens of STRs but then I used them differently. Kind of a long lining approach rather than active fishing.
