Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
My Journey to Power
Thanks to Bel with his recent post on reaction formation, I now understand something new.
When I said:
My apologies for the hints of misogyny, it's part of the price to pay for opening my eyes. I want to be clear: I love and respect women. I'm a bit sad, hurt and disappointed of this new realization, but as other members here know: it's always like that.
I think it was a reaction formation. And even if it is not, it's a good exercise either way.
I reflected on it and I could identify an emotion and speak more accurately: I don't love and respect women.
I'm angry against the abusive, manipulative, value-taker or extremist women. I don't like them and they don't like me. I can make them like me through social skills and accept them through opening my heart. However, I don't love nor respect them.
I love and respect women who are authentic, kind, positive, value-giving, humble or honest (examples). Those I respect and love. So thanks to Bel for this realization.
I think those type of woman are plain evil anyway. Feminism just happens to be a big stick that they can swing. It's a perfect weapon if you're a woman because if any man argues against your viewpoint then he's anti women. It's just like using boss language or being on the side of political correctness.
So so true. I think you went down to the heart of the matter. I admire how you can get to the core of an issue (same as in PD's post), taking distance and seeing the forest, not the tree.
Nothing to add.
My boss showed me the numbers of the pediatric service. She told me I was the "first one to be interested in the numbers".
Actually, it started when I asked her at lunch about her end-of-the-year chores. Being an upper manager I thought she had to gather the numbers for the end of the year (annual report) and most of them hate it. So my intention was to relate to her and know her better. But she asked me if I wanted to see the numbers and I said yes.
So it was very interesting and helped me to understand better the service. I'll reveal the numbers for you guys as I think it's interesting and I'm not revealing the hospital name. This is the money generated by activity (turnover). It's the numbers from a small hospital in Switzerland (euros/dollars/chf: it's about the same now):
- Hospitalization: 2 millions
- Emergency: 2 millions
- Maternity ward: 200'000 (if I remember well).
I was surprised as I thought that maternity was generating more money. If we compare to the work we put in: the maternity ward is really low ROI.
Also I heard all the time: pediatrics is losing money, pediatrics is losing money (in the hospital compared to other specialities like orthopedics). Like a mantra since 5 years I'm in this gig.
The truth is that they're even. They don't make money and they don't lose it. So that's what a public service should do. So it's a good balance sheet. Public hospitals are not supposed to make benefits in my opinion. So this was new info to me.
Also there is all the money that is generated through using peripheral services (anesthesiology, radiology, etc.) for our patients.
So I learned that a hospital is like an ecosystem. There are so many complex feed-back loops that it's impossible to account for the indirect gains for a given service.
So overall good intel on my way to become an executive (I'll probably be one day).
I also learned that we have little influence on the hospital fréquentation. It’s about the population basin as we call it and the epidemiology.
Where we can increase the numbers is by:
Improving our relationship/reputation with the pediatricians in town: they will refer their patients or not.
Improving our relationship/reputation with the other hospitals: if they trust us with taking good care of their patients they will send them to us. Otherwise they won’t.
So again it’s about relationships.
At work, there is a toxic nurse that now I labeled a manipulator. I had the doubt until now but as I learned about "toxic" people: when there's a doubt, there's no doubt (this person is a manipulator).
So the usual smear campaign, spreading negativity in the team, finger pointing, social climbing (doctors are so bad, colleagues are so bad...), etc.
What I noticed she does very well to gain power/status: she'll criticise something we (doctors) did as if a professional comment (but really is social climbing). Then we start explaining but this turns into justifying. So her nurse colleagues admire her because she's able to make us justify ourselves. So it's both social climb and manipulation to push us to justify ourselves. So from now on I'll say: "good point, thank you I'll think about it." or "good idea, thanks I'll think about it" in order not to justify nor thread expand. Then move on.
I also want to talk about the social role of manipulators. Just like psychopaths make good warriors in times of war. Manipulators make for good detectors of dysfunctions. They'll point to dysfunctions and human flaws to gain status and power but they actually make us a favours. They allow us to correct these dysfunctions and fly higher regarding our flaws. Because they focus so much on the negative, they allow us to see it.
Eyes are crossing as we say in French. Going to nap in the train now. Thanks to you guys, I am grateful for you.
Yeah, that's a good point that they can act as "canaries in the coalmine" to highlight the issues.
As long as one also knows that they can also create more issues, that's a great way of looking at it actually.
And cheers to the train nap :D
Thank you very much Lucio!
Hahaha, thought about you of course! :D
Regarding my relationships at work I improved almost all of them.
There are only 3 left to improve: 1 resident, 2 nurses (in the whole hospital!).
Edit: actually 4 just thought about an ortho chief.
Today it’s clear to me. When I did the bridge from engineering to pediatrics after my medicine studies. I was refused the first time in pediatrics. I thought it was because I presented myself too humbly. It’s definitely part of it. The truth is that they did not want to give me more power. I can see it now. With my background, smart strategizing and hard work I can see now that I can reach the highest highs. As my competition is higher than me. But not that high. Watch me. I’m coming. I’m using the dark side and ego and one day I’ll be a better pediatrician that all those people who humiliated me. Not out of revenge but out of ambition and dedication to my mission. The revenge will be a side effect.
It’s already happening some people who looked at me from above I’m now further than them. I need the light to bring love and harmony. I need the darkness for performance and drive. I’m getting to my mature self. When I can appeal to the side I need at the time I need. The complete me: mature in the dark and in the light.
