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Asking questions- Dominant or submissive?
Hey Lucio. I have a question about power dynamics.
Does asking questions is dominant behaviour or submissive? Because I see most leaders make more statements than ask questions.
On the subconscious level asking questions implies neediness like you are signaling that you need them to reply.
Does it put you in a submissive position? Because it shows that the person have the knowledge and you need it.
On the other hand, sometimes I see it's more dominant like a father taking care of his child. Did you eat? How was your day? etc..
And it could also be the child asking alot of questions and the father make statements.
So is it dominant or submissive to ask questions? Thanks
Hi Aviv,
Took me a while but I finally got to this.
You guessed it, it's very dependant on the situation.
The idea that "asking questions is needy" is something that Mark Mason espouses in "Models".
And he proposes to use statements instead.
But I wholly disagree.
First of all: what's the difference?
And second, statements are far worse from an interpersonal perspective.
You make a couple of questions off the mark, and she your speaking partner has the chance to explain.
You get a couple of statements wrong instead and you look like an idiot who's trying to guess stuff at random (plus you break rapport by sub-communicating that you have nothing in common).
Now, keeping in mind that the situation is king, on average, the person asking questions has more power.
So, yeah, no fear in asking questions.
As a matter of fact, asking questions is good.
Not just from a power perspective, but also to bond and connect with people (just make sure the conversation is a back and fort and not a question after question as if you were shooting from a machine gun).
Oh, and P.S.: consider changing that nickname man, it makes you come across as a dickhead.
