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Bel's thoughts
Thank you so much for your kind words Lucio.
I was writing the Christmas cards for my clients and I found myself finishing the big-sized cards I had purchased last year.
I had already written some cards for the people who work in one specific company, but other people remain in the same company to whom I want to send a card.
The only other cards I have are smaller sized, and these are the only size I can find now to buy.
I could send a bunch of cards of one size and another bunch smaller, but I fear people may compare sizes of the cards since they work in the same company, and maybe be offended or make unwanted inferences.
So I think I’ll write all of them again in just the smaller size, and scrap the big sized-ones even though I already wrote them up.
EDIT: on a related note, I think this year I won’t send the card to the people who gave me the work in my previous post: the deadline for my work is near Christmas, and I don’t want to give the impression I am focused on writing cards while I should be working for them.
Hello Bel,
I second Lucio regarding how well you did during the meeting: as high power as can get while still warm enough. Congrats on your transformation. Respect! And yes that's what's happening when you increase your value: people chase you. You still can say "no" in any case. They gave you the work but can still say: "I thought about it and while it honours me I won't be able to honour this commitment taking into account my current priorities and projects." Up to you.
On the cards:
- yes, people could possibly compare the cards, so I would stick with one size only as you .
- These people recognised you as a high value high power person, so that means you can pretty much do whatever you want. At work it's like this: I can be late at work (train problems, etc.) or late in my administration, nobody cares and they praise me anyway. Not to talk about me but I'm learning this fact and it's a new reality.
Leonardo Di Caprio can come late on set. You can send the cards if you want.
The higher power higher value you become, the less you have to care about what other people think about you. In the machiavellian perspective: you don't want this work so what's the worst can happen? They take away the work? Then you win even more. So when being high power, you're free to do whatever you like because you have options like in your case.
Also, this time I made sure to not include the wording “Attorney” on the back of the envelopes, and to keep an informal tone in closing by signing just with my first name.
Today, for the first time in years, I realized there is “value” in having the Christmas tree lights turned on.
Funny thing is, we bought them years ago.
But somehow I always tended to keep them “off”. I couldn’t undertstand the “value” in having them “on”.
I realize now this is just another one of the things that my parent’s abuse took from me. When I was in survival mode, it made no sense to use electricity to light up the Christmas tree, as absurd as it seems.
I guess I’m slowly getting better. I am starting to enjoy intangible things again.
Rock on, Bel!
To many years of ever-improving Christmases and New Years :).
Funny how I had something similar, just for different reasons -a tendency to over-optimize for effectiveness that was often extending to no-more effective and stupid levels :)-.
Thank you Lucio!
I feel I'm better than I was, and PU played a big part.
Extending the same awesome wishes to you.
Saying false things to create the urge to "correct them" and in so doing get information
One close relative said to me:
Relative: Here's the keys to my little house in the countryside. We went there last winter but couldn't put anti-freeze in the water pipes because there wasn't any, antifreeze was over.
I went to said house for some days and found the anti-freeze tank was half full.
When I went back I called my relative and told him:
Me: You know what you said about the anti-freeze, it was untrue, there was plenty there. Why would you lie to me?
Relative: So you went there?
His answer was too abrupt and direct.
No person who had lied inadvertently on something would immediately focus on "what transpired from my words", instead of what I was asking about him saying something untrue.
The only plausible explanation is that this relative knew from the start he was lying to me, and in fact had lied to me on purpose. That's why he bypassed my question entirely: he already knew what he had done, and he had lied to obtain something from me: information.
That's when it finally dawned on me that many of the thing this relative says to me are probably just provocations to create the urge in me to "prove him wrong and correct things".
I suspect this is done to get information from me, since I stopped volunteering any on my life.
That's when I also got that sometimes the way to handle lies is to fake having fallen for them, or in any case not correct things.
Some people lie just to get you to divulge information on yourself. Very sad.
Interesting.
And yes, I've noticed the same.
I think this was even listed in some manipulation article.
Under "covert questions" I think.
Very covert in this case, but still power moves to get you to react/share.
P.S.:
The extent that some contorted personalities will go through is incredible.
A mix of fascinating, sad, and even funny.
I think that it's a great and empowering approach to find it so crazy that it's funny and laugh at it.
