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Beyond approval addiction


Just making a quick check-in... had a good day today - while I'm still in the early stages of the PU course, I'm finding the focus on healthy leadership really great... it's a much more positive and cooperative framing/mindset than so many of the other resources out there... I really enjoyed taking the role of leader in conversation at my lunch meeting today, and I could see that it was a more positive experience for the man I was meeting with as well... feeling good!

Today's actions:

  • Two social calls (widening my social circle)
  • Lunch meeting



Well, it’s been a demented two weeks for me… the project I was working on finally came to a climax yesterday, and I’m happy to say it seems to have been a big success… the final furlong was crazy, though… lots and lots of moving parts, wheels falling off carriages right, left and center, and a whole lot of frayed nerves and frustrated ‘personalities’… We got there though, and it’s been a hit..

There were a couple of particularly difficult personalities, who started getting into what I can only describe as ‘aggressive complaning’. I can generally handle that stuff without losing my shit, but the more important thing for me is how it impacts me internally and emotionally. Framing is so important here, and I made a point of seeing those moments as opportunities to embrace disapproval and judgement from others… there may always be conflictiv situations in big projects, especially when deadlines get close and high-stress/pressure starts to emerge… the important thing for me at a personal level, however, is getting comfortable with the disapproval of others…

The whole project was good practice for leadership skills, but I’ve been a disconnected from other areas of self-development work, especially the social stuff, which I’m getting back into today..

Glad to be reconnected to the forum and looking forward to a little more sanity for the next few weeks..

Todays actions:

  • Social outreach - 2 calls

Well done, Zen, congrats on the new project!

If you want to share some of those cases of aggressive complaining, happy to read and give some feedback / opinion.

By the way, the title of this journal says "addition", let me know if you want me to fix the typo -"addiction"-.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hi there Lucio,

Yes indeed... that would be great if you could correct the typo in the journal title... I noticed it myself but it was too late to fix it... Thanks!



Sorry took me longer because I was clicking on the top post and thinking "why doesn't it work anymore". But it was the top post of the second page, duh! 🙂

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Great... thanks @lucio!

Hi there folks,

So I went to a French recovery meeting this evening... it's definitely something I need to do a lot more of, both to practice and improve my French, and to push past the insecurity I have about speaking French in public...  The approval-dependent side of my personality doesn't like to do anything were I might look 'stupid' or come across as foolish, and it's something I really want to get over... As in so many other little day-to-day interactions, it provides an opportunity to throw a spotlight on my fears around the opinions of others, and to squash them...

It was surprising to me just how anxious I was when it came my turn to speak... perhaps that's partly because I haven't done it in a while, but I can see that it was definitely useful and I'm glad I did it... I'm planning to go do another one tomorrow evening...

All the best,