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Cultivating Dominance Styles -
Quote from zachwehman on December 4, 2021, 4:56 amThank you for the input. I tend to be in a Putin like cold state most of the time. I have often found myself looking at the world in matter of utility. I also have had interest in stoicism. A mix of the trained psychopath and serene sociopath and integrating a warmer style would seem a good course of action.
I look forward to implementing the advice I've received and any other that is added as well as contributing to this and other threads.
Cheers, also check this old post.
It focuses on dating and on the negatives only, but it might add some insights.
I think we all have a natural inclination internally.
I suppose you place less emphasis on emotions and more on what's optimal to do.
But you would probably know better than me.
You already mentioned that you can be warm and can feign warmness well.
I will share my thoughts on how one can use coldness and warmth in social situations.
Maybe you're already using this subconsciously or consciously. (psychopaths do as well)
Externally, the cold-blooded style can mix with the charming style well to influence people's behaviour.
- Cold-blooded against the more value-taking, dominant, aggressive people
- Charming with the value-adding, warmer people (or people closer to you)
Or rather targeted at behaviour rather than the individual
- Cold-blooded against negative behaviour
- Charming for positive behaviour
The charmed people feel special and feel to keep up their value-adding behaviour to receive positive emotions or better treatment.
The people who you were colder to may feel like being warmer to you.
("may" because some dominant people will still be dominant)
The hot/cold can be manipulative.
It can also be value-adding because you punish bad behaviour.
So again it depends on how you use it.
Also useful when assertiveness is not appropriate or preferred.
Comey's cold behaviour against Trump's dominating behaviour.
If of interest, the article is
How to Set Boundaries With Dominant Bosses: Case Study
In solid relationships, my preference is inclined towards assertiveness.
Healthy and efficient.
The article on Slavic culture is insightful.
I was thinking building the charming style would be beneficial as well. I am unconsciously warmer with certain people and cold with others. While reading the suggested articles I was reminded of the Coquette from The Art Of Seduction being hot and cold. Something to look back into having not read in several years.
Thank you for your insights
Imo a great example of the Jester is Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones
Charisma on Command does a nice analysis of him, could be worth checking it out
