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Dating app, initially taking value
Hi
I’m learning to read power dynamics and like the collaborative framework and value giving/taking dichotomy established in the course.
From this standpoint, what’s an approach to dealing with a match on a dating app whose first message is “what’s a hot investing tip?”.
The context is that investing is listed as my profession but the profile does sell adventure more than resources.
I’m happy to be a provider in part (I’m attempting to navigate the lover plus provider value add) but she hasn’t established any reason for me to give her value yet obviously.
How can I respond that is low effort, potentially collaborative yet basically says you don’t take before you give?
Hey Hunter,
Good call on yoru analysis, and good approach as well.
Learning those value exchange dyamics is crucial in maintaining power / attraction, finding good partners, and setting up positive relationships (even if for just short term).
In my opinion, the best approach is something that:
- Makes her invest equally back
- Moves the interaction forward
Example:
Her: what’s a hot investing tip?
Note: she's making the first move, very positive
You: LOL (this rewards her attempt at humor / initiating the convo), let's make a deal: you tell me the best cafe' you know, and I'll tell you the hottest stock over coffee
Then the Mach move:
Whatever she says, tell her that you know a far better place, and invite her to some place you prefer.
Awesome Lucio that’s very helpful thank you.
I’ve never tried a Mach move before, always willing to be (too) considerate. Let’s see how it goes/feels.
Quote from hunter on July 24, 2021, 1:14 amAwesome Lucio that’s very helpful thank you.
I’ve never tried a Mach move before, always willing to be (too) considerate. Let’s see how it goes/feels.
Just as a side note:
I wouldn't list this as an "inconsiderate" move.
If you think about it:
- You are taking her to a place that you like and/or is supposedly good
- To reward her for complying, you'll pick the tab (she gives, you give, that's proper win-win dating)
- It's the man's task to increase the odds of things progressing well
- The "man in the lead" tends to make women happier in dating & relationships
Edit:
This might be an example of extending one of this website's mantra "to be good, you need to be bad".
The thinking process and plan is Machiavellian, and it might feel "not good" to many, But it actually increases the odds of happy ending.
