Easy status boost: make friends with owners & staff

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on August 30, 2020, 2:30 pm

Some time ago John reasoned if it's not "strange" to go to the same place with different dates and potentially have the staff react badly to you.

Well, in truth, if the staff of your usual place is antagonistic or unfriendly, it might be a disadvantage (value-taking).

But like finding good friends or good partners, finding good places also entails some screening and selection. You wouldn't expect everyone to be a good friend, or a good relationship partner, right?
So you can't expect every restaurant, bar, or coffee shop to be supportive and value-adding. Finding great places to frequent is one of the goals of your life strategies for success and effectiveness.
Finding great places to go to is just one more application of the general rule of adding value-adding allies and friends to your circle.

It doesn't mean, of course, that you must always go to the same place.
Try as many new places as you want.
But it means that when you want or need to, you know that you got a friendly place where you can feel at home (host power), bet treated like a friend (status boost), and possibly be treated like a VIP (huge status boost).

Example: My Pasasa friends

Pasasa is an Italian restaurant near my current place.

They are the same folks of the "pink pasta" I mentioned in my first review of Seoul.
"Genuinity" of food aside, there are even more important considerations that should guide the choice of your favorite spots.

And one of the most important items to choose your favorite places is how they treat you, and whether you can build value-adding relationships with them.

Exactly, it's the same general principle we talk abut on this website which is applied across friendships, business relationships, and relationships.
This is just another specific application of the same general rule: seek collaborators with which you can develop value-adding relationships.

Back to Pasasa now.
On the second time I was there:

Owner: How was your meal?
Me: (smiling) Delicious as always, you guys are awesome. Thank you so much
Owner: (smiles)

"as always" indirectly frames you early on as a habitual customer.

I had been there maybe 3-4 times, when the owner recognized me and commented on me being an habitual customer.

You can always count on smart owners -or anyone with "skin in the game", for that matter- to cherish repeat customers (by the way, this is all the more true if you look and act high-power).

What do you do at that point?
You throw the basis for your win-win relationship, of course.

I replied:

Me: Yes, I come here often, I love you guys!

Unluckily, I didn't have small cash notes, but otherwise, that would be the perfect time to leave a tip.

Next time I was at Pasasa, I had a free wine on the house.
At the checkout, the owner was there to say hi. We exchange a few pleasantries, and I said:

Me: thank you so much, whenever I talk to my friends, I always say you're my favorite restaurant

After that, the wine on the house had become a staple.

By now, it's wine + a free dessert on the house (not even sure how good that really is from a health point of view, but from a status point of view, it does add value):

Both wine and dessert were on the house. It's always like that when I visit Pasasa.

Imagine what that would do to your status and value when you go there with a friend, date, or potential business partner.

The waiter comes walking towards you with two more glasses of wine, and says "on the house". Then comes again once more with desserts and says "on the house".
Then, on the way out, the owner is there to greet you and say hi as you exchange pleasantries.
You are effectively treated like a VIP, and your status in the eyes of your guest becomes that of a VIP.

The Machiavellian Ploy: Manufacturing Status

This is so effective that I can even see how one could manufacture this technique.

For example, you could approach the owner and say that if any time you go there with a guest you can get stuff "on the house" and be treated like a VIP, you will later pay them a certain amount of money.

I realized the power of this power move when my father, a former photographer, told teenager me that he was pretty sure a guy had paid the wedding band performer to pretend he knew him, and treat him like a hotshot.
That Machiavellian guy was wooing and trying to bang an attractive lady helping my father -and no, I'm pretty sure my dad has been faithful-. Eventually, that Machiavellian guy managed to bang her, by the way. And later the attractive lady ditched him for the owner of the company she was working for. Those who deny the power of power and status in dating success are obviously oblivious to reality...