Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Feedbacks & clarifications
Golden feedback, read it twice, thank you so much, Matthew, super helpful!
If anyone has anything more to share, please do :).
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 27, 2020, 11:12 amQuote from Tina on December 20, 2020, 11:43 pmThe reason for the arguments and the personal fears for the feedback is that you're all guys and all care too much about status.
There I said it, don't attack the messenger ?Hello Tina,
Some feedback for you, arm yourself of antifragile ego + growth mindset and take a look here.
Personally, I think your joke was OK (but others didn't, so listen to the majority in this case), and could have been helpful, but it was untimely.Humor can be good after one has reached a resolution, and it's useful to rebuild rapport quickly.
I have used it often to restore goodwill after an altercation, and sometimes even turned it into a running joke.But in this case, it went down like a lead balloon.
Edit: adding the "@Tina".
I read it and I am sorry for having caused issues.
I think it was largely a misunderstanding but I take responsibility for it.
I only meant it as a joke, like you said, a joke to create some laughing and move on quicker. But I see now how it was easy to misunderstand, and I see and agree there was a "power move" part. I think I was trying to protect myself, like a shield you put up before you can be hit. It was a power move out of lack of vulnerability, if that makes any sense.
Thanks both to you and Matthew, it was great feedback and I learned a lot.
Again, thank you and I'm sorry.
Hello Lucio,
I would like to call you for a conversation.
Do you agree?
Quote from Tina on January 5, 2021, 5:59 pm
(...)
All good from my side, there was no harm done to begin with.
John and Matthew speak for themselves, but this clarification goes in the right direction.
Tina: I think I was trying to protect myself, like a shield you put up before you can be hit.
Deep introspection there.
Yeah, some people sometimes adopt a more aggressive than usual stance because they fear being attacked. The issue with that, is that it only makes it more likely they will incite the precise reaction they feared -plus they will more likely look in the wrong in case an argument/debate ensues-.
Edit: fixed typos.
Quote from John Freeman on January 5, 2021, 7:36 pmHello Lucio,
I would like to call you for a conversation.
Do you agree?
Hey John,
Yes, we can do that.
Just to be clear, I have no animosity or hard feelings towards you and I also believe we are both capable to resolve everythinig in writing, even with all the limitations of the written word.
That being said, if you prefer a call, either to go quicker, to say something you're not comfortable writing, or because you believe writing only creates further misunderstanding -which it probably does-, then let's do it.
Drop me an email and I'll write you my WhatsApp number, then we can either try to call each other spontaneously in the afternoon/evening (my preferred method), or schedule a time.
Ok cool I’ll send you an email.
Quote from Tina on January 5, 2021, 5:59 pmI read it and I am sorry for having caused issues.
I think it was largely a misunderstanding but I take responsibility for it.
I only meant it as a joke, like you said, a joke to create some laughing and move on quicker. But I see now how it was easy to misunderstand, and I see and agree there was a "power move" part. I think I was trying to protect myself, like a shield you put up before you can be hit. It was a power move out of lack of vulnerability, if that makes any sense.Thanks both to you and Matthew, it was great feedback and I learned a lot.
Again, thank you and I'm sorry.
All good, and thank you for being so open.
I appreciate the clarification of the intention as well.
Now we can all understand and confirm that the remark was intended to be humour to lighten the mood.
My intention was to highlight the dynamics of the statement.
I felt a bit uncomfortable with the statement but was not angry.
Much appreciation for expressing your intentions and how you felt.
Looks like we are all gaining a lot from this thread.
By the way, Matthew, I think you have good experience here, and now you're an advanced operator. If you'd like to write a post about this one day, I'd be very happy to publish it and share it (we the appropriate anonymity level you prefer).
Does operator refer to operating businesses or operating the power dynamics in business situations?
The former: Operating businesses in the sense of understanding how to manage, plan, and execute.
The latter: More focused on politics and power dynamics when operating a business with a partner.
About Tina's remark/joke i think we all care about status, pretending we do not would be making the same mistake Dalio did trying to pretend he did not care about keeping power in his own company.
To me it is more about not leting that natural desire push you to make tactical ot strategical mistakes, keep it under control or even be able to sacrifice it for a higher goal...
