Former Community – We Moved
🆕 Coached community here, for posts & feedback public community here.
Feedbacks & clarifications
To Matthew and Lucio: the "Great job!" was a social experiment. I learned what Lucio wrote in the post in answer to your own thread about your colleague (it depends on ...). I also learned that you decide how you respond based on your interpretation. Lucio did a positive interpretation of my comment, so it actually empowered him. It's true that my intention was to congratulate him. Everything I wrote in the post is what I think. I would have written another sentence have I not been inspired by your post. I chose "Great job!" to learn something.
Great job to both of you! And me! Teamwork!
I understand where you are coming from.
That being said, I do not feel comfortable receiving the remark of "great job".
I may be wrong about the general dynamics, but I am not comfortable.
Personal preferences. Great job is a compliment in my book. It's about the context as we already discussed.
For me, it's the "I understand where you are coming from" that I don't like. To me, it sounds quite arrogant. It means: "I know what you're thinking", which is not a correct statement.
To me, I would be more correct to say: "I see what you mean". But that comes down to personal preferences.
For me, it's the "I understand where you are coming from" that I don't like. To me, it sounds quite arrogant. It means: "I know what you're thinking", which is not a correct statement.
I feel that a conclusion has been drawn upon my sharing of "great job" on that post.
But I did not get a chance to have an input upon the conclusion.
That's what I mean by "I understand where you are coming from".
And I wanted to provide my perspective.
I can certainly change this to "I see what you mean" in future exchanges.
Great job to both of you! And me! Teamwork!
"Great job" is a compliment in your book.
But I don't feel that it is a compliment from my perspective.
Because I feel that I am not writing any of this content as part of a job description.
As such, I don't feel comfortable with the remark.
I Well, thank you but you don’t have to.
A job is a task. It’s something you do that has a beginning and an end. By extension it’s any action you take.
But I understand where you’re coming from.
I think we have a difference in our interpretation of jobs.
My view of jobs is that it is a paid endeavour.
- Both definitions exist according to Cambridge and Oxford dictionary.
So if I understood well you got angry because you interpreted that you colleague congratulated you on a paid endeavour?
Is that correct? I don’t understand your interpretation.
We have a difference in interpretation.
This is your view of jobs:
A job is a task. It’s something you do that has a beginning and an end. By extension it’s any action you take.
My view of jobs is
A paid endeavour.
In my case, I do not work for that person.
As such, congratulating me on a paid endeavour indirectly implies that I work for him.
Is "Thanks for the Feedback" not good enough to be in the Best Communication Skills Books?
John gave me some good feedback on handling social climbers.
I went to check Lucio's review on the book to have a quick recap of the principles in the book to understand how I can make sense of John's feedback in the best manner.
John was giving a combination of coaching and evaluation feedbacks.
I needed to think about what he advised in my situation and how I can make sense of the feedback.
Though it is scored 10/10 in the other review section under Social Skills Reviews.
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on February 6, 2021, 2:15 pmWe have a difference in interpretation.
I understood that from the beginning. But that is not my problem, it is yours unfortunately. See below.
As such, congratulating me on a paid endeavour indirectly implies that I work for him.
That is what I'm pointing to you: it's your interpretation that put you in this situation. I tried to point it out to you when Lucio thanked me for congratulating him on PU 2.0. Lucio did not interpret it as I was his boss. He wrote a whole message about it that I'm going to quote below. Have you read it?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 3, 2021, 3:46 pmTo go back to the original question, I think it depends a lot on:
- How it's said (via text you can't assess this, but on the negative side, see how Trump did it with Comey, a 100% power move)
- The personality of the individual (a known power scalper, or a generally collaborative guy?)
For example, I could totally see myself telling someone "great job man", and if it's in my team, the meaning would be in a larger context, such as "great job that you've done for the team".
In that case, it would combine the compliment of "great job" with an (unstated)Â "thank you for the value".To make sure your "great job' fits in the collaborative frame, you might add something more, for example how it helps, or what's good:
Great job man, this looks really nice, a few tweaks and I think it will help us secure those grants
Or one could combine both the assessment + the thank you to make it crystal clear:
Great job man, thank you for this
I think "great job", if combined within a larger collaborative frame, can be good for the team, as it shows that good work is appreciated, and rewarded by the others (it can become a positive judge for all, where everyone also makes good work to achieve good standing in the team, an added win-win incentive).
So I wouldn't be necessarily too quick in considering it a value-taking move.
Is there something that is not clear in the text above? If yes, maybe you could consider asking him some clarifications.
