First contact with new client: did I make a mistake here in being too vague?
Quick update on this:
I just received this email by the person above:
Him: Good Day Attorney Bel,
I apologize for the delay in my answer, I'll try to contact you in the afternoon.
If you are not available I'll wait for your availability, or you can call me any time at ...
Thank you
Waiting and doing nothing in the end was the right thing to do, had I written again I would for sure have lost the lead. I see many parallels with dating.
Thank you so much Lucio and John!
Cheers, Bel!
I'd wait a day or two now and call (rather than write).
When he says "sorry again" you empathize while putting yourself at the same level with something "all good, all good, we know life can get busy sometimes. Anyway... "
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Thank you so much, Lucio!
I find this post you made now is also very relevant to improving my communication here:
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 16, 2023, 9:52 amNo extra-mile sub-communication, plus dictating the terms of engagement with a videocall (let the customer decide how he wants to interact instead)
The important takeaway for me is that my writing to this lead "I'd like to speak you on the phone. You'll find me at the office today after 2 pm" was a mistake.
I should have written - as John suggested - something like:
"I'd like to speak with you. I'm available on the phone at the number in my signature below, or if you prefer I can contact you at your convenience".
As to your suggestion (which I'll totally follow, and thus I'll call him Monday afternoon):
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 14, 2023, 10:03 pmCheers, Bel!
I'd wait a day or two now and call (rather than write).
When he says "sorry again" you empathize while putting yourself at the same level with something "all good, all good, we know life can get busy sometimes. Anyway... "
I am curious how you knew he would not contact me on Friday, notwithstanding that he wrote me that he would have done so.
And I am also curious what is the reason why it's best for me to now call instead of writing - I see it is the correct way of going forward, but I can't really explain it logically yet.
He:
- Didn't follow up the first time
- Took a rather long break
That's the behavior of the person who's not overly invested.
Plus:
- Told you to call him
That's the behavior of the person who's expecting to be chased (to put it negatively) and to be led (to put it positively).
As for calling, it's the usual:
- higher power
- more engaging
- medium shift for power reset: you're "losing" on emails (losing power, at least), over-investing and chasing. Stop fighting a losing battle and open a new front
- medium shift for shifting gear, he isn't very responsive via email, you gotta get him on a more responsive and faster medium or it's gonna die
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Thanks Lucio and thanks Bel for asking the follow-up question (see below).
I think this whole dynamics could fit into PU as a case study, a link or whatever.
He:
- Didn't follow up the first time
- Took a rather long break
That's the behavior of the person who's not overly invested.
Plus:
- Told you to call him
That's the behavior of the person who's expecting to be chased (to put it negatively) and to be led (to put it positively).
As for calling, it's the usual:
- higher power
- more engaging
- medium shift for power reset: you're "losing" on emails (losing power, at least), over-investing and chasing. Stop fighting a losing battle and open a new front
- medium shift for shifting gear, he isn't very responsive via email, you gotta get him on a more responsive and faster medium or it's gonna die
To me, this is very advanced.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 16, 2023, 3:28 pmHe:
- Didn't follow up the first time
- Took a rather long break
That's the behavior of the person who's not overly invested.
Plus:
- Told you to call him
That's the behavior of the person who's expecting to be chased (to put it negatively) and to be led (to put it positively).
As for calling, it's the usual:
- higher power
- more engaging
- medium shift for power reset: you're "losing" on emails (losing power, at least), over-investing and chasing. Stop fighting a losing battle and open a new front
- medium shift for shifting gear, he isn't very responsive via email, you gotta get him on a more responsive and faster medium or it's gonna die
Thank you, Lucio.
I am starting to see that calling him is basically the lowest effort possible move on my side that still complies with his “wish” to be treated as client.
In other words, calling now complies with his desire to be “chased” (or for me to “invest/show interest”) but without me sounding “desperate”, and hits the sweet spot of subcommunicating:
“I am interested in having you as a client and I’ll put in some effort here, but I can afford to lose you if you don’t put in your part of the effort here”.
On the other hand, if I were to write back now, I would subcommunicate more investment than him, and that could likely turn him off / subcommunicate neediness on my side.
I now am starting to see what it really means to play “work email/phone tag”, and see a lot of similarities with dating.
I remember a story by David D that was basically the exact same thing but in the dating realm, and in that case another man was involved: the key was, as in this case, showing interest / investment in the woman in a non-needy, “can-ultimately-afford-to-lose-you” way.
Here, there is likely another lawyer involved, and this client here above is choosing between the two based on power/warmth/non-needy subcommunication.
If the above is true, it follows that - I also realize - since I will now only call him once (and he will have to get back at me if he doesn’t pick up), I will now call him with my office phone (whose number is the only one he has) instead of my mobile phone (whose number he doesn’t have, and which I usually used).
I think first contacts are best made with the office phone number in any case, as they sound more professional this way.
Update:
I didn't call him yesterday as I felt I didn't want.
And I don't think I'll call him today as well.
Maybe tomorrow. The point is that while in the past I would have been "faking it", this time I'm really off-put by his way of handling this, and I'm not so sure I want this as a client.
Update:
I called him on the phone.
I explained the contract could be done, but there were risks for the company.
I also tried to apply what I learned here and ended on a positive, both by suggesting other potential solutions and by saying that - provided their cost-benefit analysis was pointing ahead after knowing the legal risks - I could still prepare the contract and try to minimize risks in it as much as possible.
He told me he would think about it and then let me know.
Hello Bel,
I explained the contract could be done, but there were risks for the company.
I also tried to apply what I learned here and ended on a positive, both by suggesting other potential solutions and by saying that - provided their cost-benefit analysis was pointing ahead after knowing the legal risks - I could still prepare the contract and try to minimize risks in it as much as possible.
I don't think you could have comunicated better: you summarized the problem and explained what solution you would provide.
Updating this:
I now received a "go-ahead" email by the client, where he basically wrote:
Client: Goodday Attorney,
I spoke with ... and we think that risks are reduced by the fact that...
So we would ask you the courtesy to prepare a contract draft to then see it together and define it.
Do you need other information?
Please feel free to call me for any clarification.
My thoughts:
this seems to be a success, professionally speaking.
Even though, I personally feel, he is making a mistake in minimizing the legal risks - which I highlighted on the phone to no avail. (On the legal risks: while in the past I would have continued to push-back, I believe I will now go ahead based on the fact that I fully disclosed the risks - and the final decision is his).
He is now kind and warm in tone, even too courteous - he is using "ask for the courtesy! which we discussed as a sign of submissiveness - , and he is giving me a green light to go on and do my work without even asking me for a fee quote.
Regarding this last point, I am in doubt how to proceed, but suppose the best thing would be to answer his email tomorrow by including a fee quote and writing:
Me: Dear Mr. X,
perfect, the data I have are sufficient for now. I'll prepare the contract and send it to you asap for discussion.
I take the opportunity to inform you that my fees for the [company group] amount to $X/hour, which I detail periodically (each month) in specific timesheets and proforma invoices.
Kind regards,
Bel
Thank you so much again for your help, Lucio and John!
Not only in this specific instance, but for everything that got me to this point.