How to nudge uncooperative women towards cooperative frames (text example)
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 1, 2020, 4:25 amI was exchanging messages with a girl who had shown all the signs that she liked me.
And yet, when texting to meet again, she was rejecting all my attempts to get to know each other better (uncooperative frame).
This is a relatively common dating mistakes that some women commit, making them much poorer daters (you don't wanna keep that attitude with guys you actually like, of course).
See the dynamics here:
With my joke, I draw attention to her uncooperativeness. I give her a chance to change tack to a more collaborative frame (or I would have stopped pursuing her).
Which is exactly what happened.
Joking and light, indirect shaming, is a wonderful way of nudging people towards a better, more cooperative behavior.This is a good way of reminding women that courtship should be mutual, that you also bring value to the table, and that you are not going to do all the work in the face of uncooperative behavior.
One way street with one party doing all the work is not courtship. It's a race for power, it's a sucker's trade, it's losers chasing too much.. Call it how you want it, but it's not the way to establish a healthy relationship.
I was exchanging messages with a girl who had shown all the signs that she liked me.
And yet, when texting to meet again, she was rejecting all my attempts to get to know each other better (uncooperative frame).
This is a relatively common dating mistakes that some women commit, making them much poorer daters (you don't wanna keep that attitude with guys you actually like, of course).
See the dynamics here:
With my joke, I draw attention to her uncooperativeness. I give her a chance to change tack to a more collaborative frame (or I would have stopped pursuing her).
Which is exactly what happened.
Joking and light, indirect shaming, is a wonderful way of nudging people towards a better, more cooperative behavior.
This is a good way of reminding women that courtship should be mutual, that you also bring value to the table, and that you are not going to do all the work in the face of uncooperative behavior.
One way street with one party doing all the work is not courtship. It's a race for power, it's a sucker's trade, it's losers chasing too much.. Call it how you want it, but it's not the way to establish a healthy relationship.
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