She doesn’t like me…
She likes me…
Oh God, does she like me yes or not?
Do you know the old game of ripping petals off of a flower to decide?
Please don’t go ripping of petals, I got some much better way for you to assess whether she likes you or not, all based on solid psychology and body language cues.
If you are wondering whether she likes you or not, you don’t need to rip off petals.
Lucio, the author, is a sociologist and an expert of social dynamics, and by the end of this article, he will teach you all the signs of attraction.
- Does She Like Me? Overview of Female Signs
- 1. She listens to you with her head sideways
- 2. She asks you lots of questions
- 3. She is very interested in what you say
- 4. Holds Her Head on Her Hand
- 5. She laughs at your terrible jokes
- 6. She Shows Signs of Preening
- 7. Acts Like a Baby
- 8. She finds ways to spend more (alone) time with you
- 9. She handles cockblocks for you
- 10. She protects herself
- 11. She moves backwards while looking at you
- 12. She is angry… But she’s actually horny
- 13. She draws attention to your nether region
- 14. She draws attention to her erogenous zones
- 15. She shows her neck
- 16. She touches you
- 17. She makes you horny: sexual tease
- 18. She jokes a lot with you
- 19. She is nervous
- 20. She asks you if you have a girlfriend
- 21. She tells you of her relationship woes
- 22. She asks you if you know any single guy
- 23. She tells you of her ideal guy… Who sounds a lot like you
- 24. She comments on your pictures and statuses
- 25. She hints you two should spend time together
- 26. She gets physically close
- 27. She asks your friends about you
- 28. She’s available for you
- 29. She tells you how good you look
- 30. She lets you know she is single
- 31. She texts you a lot
- 32. She sends you long texts
- 33. She sends you her pictures
- 34. She drunk-text you
- 35. She looks down, then up
- Does she like me? More Cues She does
Does She Like Me? Overview of Female Signs
Some women, the more assertive daters, will try to make it easy for him to guess. This is a good strategy and the only mistake that can happen is that she thinks her signs are obvious but she won’t catch them.
It happens more times than people think, and it will help him to increase his social intelligence and body language reading skills.
Some other women who read on women’s dating literature instead get schooled on “feigning disinterest” in an effort to make him chase -an often bad idea by the way-.
In this case, he must focus on reading indirect signals, eliciting those signals and, sometimes, just try his hand and “risk” rejection.
This guide presents both direct and indirect signals, helping you in both cases.
1. She listens to you with her head sideways
Allan Pease, author of the seminal book “The Definitive Book of Body Language” says that reclining one’s head is a sign of attraction.
It’s also a sign of rapt interest and, by showing her neck, a is a sign of submissiveness.
Not only she is intent in listening to you, but is she acknowledging your (intellectual) power over her.
2. She asks you lots of questions
If she asks you lots of questions she is either trying to tell you “I like you” or she needs to make up her mind about you.
How tell which from which?
Differentiate between the two:
- Questions about your stories, opinions and whatever random stuff pops in her mind
- Questions about you, your past, your possessions, your exes
If the former, especially if looking at you with puppy eyes, enlarged pupils and, a slight smile and while leaning at you: she likes you. And she is already fantasizing about you.
If the latter, she is weighing you up for a relationships but first she wants to make sure you meet the criteria.
Either way, lots of questions are a good sign for you.
3. She is very interested in what you say
Don’t flatter yourself: you might not be the most interesting person in the world.
And that’s great news!
Because with her attention she is trying to let you know that she wants something more than your sweet-sounding words.
4. Holds Her Head on Her Hand
Imagine a position where she holds her head on one hand -picture below- or on both her hands together.
It’s as if she were putting her goods in display.
She says “here is my face, here are my lips… You may kiss them”.
And later maybe you may get to kiss different lips :).
5. She laughs at your terrible jokes
Unless you’re being a clown, a woman laughing at your jokes and teasing is a strong sign of attraction.
Some men confuse laughing.
Anton W, author of “The Manual: What Women Want” says that many men confuse laughing. it’s a myth, he says, that women love men who makes them laugh. It’s the other way around: they laugh at men they already want to have sex with.
Whichever way you see it though, she laughing gives you a strong that yes, she likes you.
6. She Shows Signs of Preening
If you are at a bar or in any other gathering where you can approach her, she will show preening behavior if she likes.
It’s prepping herself up and “showing the goods”, such as:
- Straightens up emphasizing her breasts
- Tilts her hips to show her curves
- Hikes up her skirt and shows her legs
- Adjust her clothes
- Fix her hair
- Apply make up or lipstick (especially if while looking at you)
7. Acts Like a Baby
Whenever one gender regresses and plays the baby, it’s a sign of strong intimate bond.
And sometimes, a willingness to be dominated.
When women act like babies with you, it’s a sign that they want big daddy to take care of them ;).
Baby behavior includes:
- “Escaping” from you
- Covering her face
- Hide and seek games
- Acting out
- Peekaboo games
8. She finds ways to spend more (alone) time with you
One of the most powerful -and helpful- signs of attraction is when she’s helping you move the interaction forward.
And the more intimate that time is, the stronger the sign is.
- Moves you somewhere secluded
- She stays when her friends leave
- Tells her friends she’s cool with you
- Refuses the obligatory “girlfriends going to the bathroom together thing” to stay with you
At that point, you don’t need to wonder “does she like me”, because she is communicating to you, loud and clear, that she does.
So get moving, because attraction has an expiration date and you must strike while it’s hot.
9. She handles cockblocks for you
You don’t need to worry about cockblockers with more assertive women who like you.
Because they will be doing it for you.
This is basically another form of being a lone with you, and sends an even stronger message because she is willing to fend external threats to make it happen.
And that’s strong statement of attraction.
So don’t be an idiot and don’t even engage the cockblocker: she’s already cast her vote and you’ve been elected 🙂
10. She protects herself
This might sound counter-intuitive, so hear me out.
While the more confident an assertive women will open their bodies, the more submissive and reserved ones might close it.
This is nothing but another submission sign.
It’s as if she were saying “you’re the dominant one here, go gentle on me”.
Now when you see this sign of attraction, you gotta be careful: it’s positive, but it also means you haven’t built enough comfort with her yet.
She likes you and you can probably get together by pushing it a bit, but to be even safer -and make her feel safer!- talk a bit more. Connect with her a bit more.
Then, as soon as you notice her opening up and smiling more, you can make your move.
11. She moves backwards while looking at you
Similar to above, she is re-enacting a dominant-dominated dynamics that usually ends up in bed.
Go on the assault brother, she wants you in.
12. She is angry… But she’s actually horny
When women are horny but are not getting the cigar, so to speak, they often get cattier as well.
So when you see:
- Fake angry, but can’t hold smiling when you tease them
- Angry for not apparent reason
Then it can easily be because they like you.
Another strong indicator of sexual chemistry is when you sexually tease them, or jokingly objectify them, and they get fake-angry. But they’re actually glad you’re doing it.
Case in point:
Sometimes, there can be a fine line between anger, excitement, aggression and sex. If you want to enjoy some speedy seduction and steamy sex, you have to learn how to walk that tight rope.
13. She draws attention to your nether region
I remember many years ago, sitting at on the couch at my place with a Kazakh girl (I seem to remember) beside me.
She was nervous and exhibiting closed body language. So I thought to take it easy and slow.
Then she crunched over, analyzing and commenting on how great my belt buckle was.
That’s when I realized I was taking it too easy :).
She doesn’t care about your jeans, belt or buckle my friend… She cares about unbuckling.
Or, well, lemme fix that: hopefully you have nice clothes and she also likes your belt. And what’s lying beneath 🙂
Any other similar situation in which a girl is drawing attention to your nether region, it’s a glaring sign that she likes you (sexually) and you gotta get moving.
14. She draws attention to her erogenous zones
As we mentioned earlier, while more reserved women close down, more assertive and sexually confident women open up instead.
And that can include pointing to the erogenous zones of her body.
They might touch her uncovered bellies complaining about the cold, fix their decollete… Or let a hand hand hang right between her legs.
Catch the drift… ?
15. She shows her neck
Do you like vampires?
You should: most women do.
The act of biting on her neck is more than just a sexual hint: it’s sexually arousing.
Male cats bite female cats on their neck while copulating, and probably so should you from time to time.
Showing her neck is a sign of attraction because it releases pheromones, says Vanessa von Endwars in Body Language of Love and Dating. But also because it’s another sign of submissiveness.
She is basically saying “come take a bite”.
Similar messages are:
- Placing a hand on her neck
- Running her fingers on her neck
16. She touches you
If while talking she looks at opportunities to touch you, then you have another huge indicator of interest.
- Laughs and reaches your arm with her hand
- Places her hand on you to emphasize a point
- Touches your arm (and maybe asks if you’ve been working out 🙂
Here is an example from Crazy, Stupid, Love:
17. She makes you horny: sexual tease
Some women, the master seductresses among them, are masters of the sexual tease.
The sexual tease is basically telling him:
I might be ready for it… Will you be man enough to come take it?
That’s the kind of sexual provocation the top coquettes go for.
It’s like waving the red flag in front of the bull.
When you find yourself horny in a way that you’d like to f*ck her hard, almost as if to deliver punishment, then you know you’re dealing with a master coquette.
Don’t go thinking it will always be as obvious as Sharon Stone crossing her legs. I mean, it might be, but more frequently it will be something like this:
- Raising her eyebrows
- Slightly wetting her lips
- Touching the side of your leg, below your belt
- Flashing one eyebrow only
Notice the slight tease of this win, pure sexual tease:
18. She jokes a lot with you
Similar to the sexual tease, but with less sex.
As much as guys flirt with women they like, so women flirt with men they like.
19. She is nervous
You might think that men are the only nervous ones asking “does she like me”.
But women equally obsess over “does he like me”.
And if you spot signs of nervousness, chances are that she likes you. A lot…
You will see this one especially from younger women, inexperienced women, and women who think you’re out of their league.
If that’s the case, you have to put her at ease, let her feel that yes, she has a shot with you because you like her too.
And, ideally, seal the deal ASAP.
20. She asks you if you have a girlfriend
Oh boy, this is a big sign of attraction.
Any girl who asks about your relationship status is interested in changing that relationship status.
Never answer to this question with a joke such as “nah, girls don’t want me”. Women will often get worried at that one instead of laughing and you will break the mood.
Instead, avoid answering too directly and hint that you might be free. Especially tonight, if she wants to come back to your just for a drink.. ;).
21. She tells you of her relationship woes
In this case, you are either her good pal friend… Or she wants you to replace her boyfriend.
As long as he’s not completely asexual, chances are that sexual chemistry will increase when she complains -and maybe cries- of her current relationship. That’s how some women end up having sex with friends and sometimes even gay friends.
Basically, 8/10 a woman complaining about her boyfriend is really bad news… For her boyfriend. And a strong sign of attraction for you.
The biggest sign being, of course, when she sends you a message out of the blue saying her relationship is going very badly. That’s like saying “I need rebound sex”.
22. She asks you if you know any single guy
Women don’t usually ask men to make intros.
If she asking you for friend of yours she is actually asking about you.
23. She tells you of her ideal guy… Who sounds a lot like you
If she tells you about her ideal and said ideal guy sounds a lot like you, then you don’t need to ask yourself “does she like me”.
She is basically telling you.
24. She comments on your pictures and statuses
Usually it’s men who do this -and do it all wrong of course-. And when it’s women who do it to you, it’s a big sign she is interested in you.
25. She hints you two should spend time together
People don’t ask to spend time with people they don’t like.
So any time a woman hints to spending time together, especially the two of you of them alone, that’s a strong sign of attraction.
It can be a coffe, a lunch, or a request for help because “you’re so knowledgeable” about something.
They’re all signs that she is helping you move the interaction forward.
An example from the movie The Terminal here (and raise your hand if you’d gladly take that opportunity with Catherine Zeta Jones):
26. She gets physically close
Space among humans is an interesting phenomenon.
The individual who gets more space can either communicate dominance or… Dislike if the people move away because they don’t like them.
In dating, it’s usually more about like dislikes. And if you get close or lean in and she doesn’t back away, she is communicating both comfort and attraction.
Same if she is looking for opportunities to get close to you, hug you and touch you.
Especially telling are all situation where sexually erogenous areas come in direct contact. Pressing her breasts against you, or crotch her against your leg for example. All signs she’s excited by you.
27. She asks your friends about you
People don’t ask about people they don’t like.
If a girl is asking your friends about you, she likes you.
Sometimes, she will try to hide her feelings though because she’s actually happy to let you wonder “does she like me”. And she will try to gather intel about you “under the radar”:
28. She’s available for you
If she’s always available to talk, hang out, or text, there is little wondering “does she like me”, because it’s clear that she does.
29. She tells you how good you look
I cannot count the amount of men I’d like to slap in the head when the ask me if a girl is into them and they tell me that said girls are always complimenting their looks.
Heck! She is telling you she likes you, what else does the poor girl has to do?
Of course, she might play the “we’re still friends” cards if you’re really friend, but she still likes you. So keep going.
This is what a girl was telling a guy who was asking me for advice:
Her: You’re such a handsome guy
Her: (talking about a girl he had started seeing) You can do better than her
Her: (talking about her interest in engaging her vagina a bit more) Ah, I have spiderwebs down here
Her: I like a guy who slams me against the wall
And he asked me what he should do with her…
Here is a tip: if she is telling you what she likes, maybe you should try doing that.
30. She lets you know she is single
Women who tell you they are single do it for two reasons:
- They feel bad about it and need to get it off their chest
- They want you to change their relationship status (and get their clothes off their chest)
More often than not it’s the second.
31. She texts you a lot
She texts you a lot and often writes first.
This is a big sign of attraction, and you should move the conversation ASAP from texting to in person. And from in-person to your place.
32. She sends you long texts
Length of texts is an indicator of investment which, in turn, is an indicator of interest.
And a woman who is investing you is doing so hoping you do the same. If you like her, don’t stand there wondering “does she like me”, invest back in her and escalate investment together towards bed -and maybe a relationship-.
33. She sends you her pictures
She sends you hot pictures of herself -or pictures she deems as hot anyway-.
It’s possible that she asks you what do you think of said pictures. Even sneakier -and funnier- if she sends you made up pictures and says “just woke up”.
If you want to get together with her, don’t fawn on her picture but don’t ignore them either (like I’ve done in the picture above).
Show appreciation or, alternatively, you can go the sexual way and tell her “you don’t know what I’d do to you know”. The risk though is that she will feel like she “has you” and that you have nothing better to do than sexting. And sexting is not a high-value man pastime.
34. She drunk-text you
There is a saying in Latin:
Meaning “in wine lies truth”. And if she’s she inebriated the truth is this: she thinks about you.
Any drunk or high texting, and possibly even fake excuses of drunk-dialing, they are all major signs that she likes you.
35. She looks down, then up
Looking at you and then down is a sign of attraction and, again, a sign that she is submitting to you and recognizing your leadership.
Angelina Jolie does it often when she mixes together the coyness and the vixen:
Does she like me? More Cues She does
More verbal and nonverbal cues that signal attraction:
- Looking over raised shoulder
- Talks to her friends but looks over at you
- Speaks to her phone loudly when you’re near (a nervous reaction she tries to get your attention)
- Talk to her phone while she’s looking at you
- Looks at you sideways
- Tags her jewelry while looking at your or speaking to you (especially the necklace)
- Dangle her shoes, going in and out with her feet (mimicking another in and out)
- Goes up and down with her hand on the glass or the stem of the glass (seen this twice, always ended up well)
- Invades your personal space (she wants to get physically closer)
- Shows the inner side of her wrists or arms
- Caresses herself
- Feet pointing towards you
- Pupils dilate
- Looks up to you
- Mirrors your body language
- Strikes poses (wants to be admired and to increase her value in your eyes)
- Shows off her goodies (straightens up, show her leg or her breast)
- Asks you if you have a condom (she’s agreed to sex, just want to have it safe)
Elicit Real Signs of Attraction
Finally, instead of wondering “does she like me” and reading body language and hints like a detective, try to elicit those signs. Help her like you!
The how is not difficult, it’s simply about the courage of actually doing it.
Here is how:
- Ask her out. If she says yes, she likes you
- Ask her to do something for you. If she does, she likes you
- Ask her to come home with you. If she says yes, she likes you
- Kiss her, and if she kisses you back she likes you.
- Start undressing her, and if she helps you, she likes you
- Have sex with her, and if she does, she likes you
- Say yes when she pressures you for a relationship, which is, you guessed it, another sign that she likes you
Warning: Move Quick When She Likes You
Have you ever wondered why women don’t stay stuck in the friend-zone?
Women are not as patient as men.
They are also less idealistic and romantic: pragmatism is more their approach to dating.
Women don’t get stuck in the periphery waiting for men because they have a bigger reproductive imperative to obey to.
Their biological clock is stricter and their attitude when they like a man is this:
Sh*t or get off the pot
Or, if you prefer:
Do me or someone else who doesn’t waste time will
Women won’t wait for you for ever.
You are much better off with a rejection than standing there and trying to read her signs.
So get moving :).
Reading the signs of attraction requires a good knowledge of body language and emotional intelligence.
Don’t forget though that the biggest priority is making yourself into a man who elicits signs of attraction.
Such as, becoming an attractive man.
Then, you can start enjoying more and more signs of attractions coming your way. This post helps you read and internalize all the signs of attraction so that you will never have to wonder again “does she like me”.