Quote from John Freeman on October 4, 2023, 10:01 am

Hello TPM community,

A string of 3 posts:

Here is a mistake I'm sharing with you:

Move her on a high note

By moving, I mean moving her from the dating app to WhatsApp or from WhatsApp to the date.

What would happen is that I would have a good interaction with a girl on a dating app and time goes to go to bed. What would I do?

I would wish her good night and say we would talk soon/tomorrow. My strategy was to become part of her life. We don't say good night to stranger and meaning that we were going to talk soon meant that some sort of a relationship was starting. Bad strategy.

What I will do now from now on is tell her that since I'm going to bed, let's exchange WA contact or set a date.

Quote from John Freeman on October 4, 2023, 10:02 am

Instagram/Social Media

I also want to share this short video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz5DvIO28aw

What Michael Sartain says is that due to social media the average dude loses it to the top guys. There is a magnifying glass effect. I already heard him talk about this and it makes sense.

I'm wondering about the ROI of Instagram, so I don't know if you guys have any feed-back on it. My issue is that my profile appears on Google (changed the settings but still appears) and I prioritize my professional reputation over dating. I'm wondering what you guys think about the whole Instagram thing.

I personally have a challenge to meet beautiful girls. That is where to find them. It's been a long time I don't go to bars anymore after having done it for years for pick-up purposes. I think the ROI is quite low. So it's better to go out for fun with friends and if I meet a woman it's a bonus. So I'm back to the drawing board on where meeting women.

Quote from John Freeman on October 4, 2023, 10:13 am

My dating app profile

This is a request for feed-back if you would like of course!

I improved my dating app profile, added a picture of me with a cat as silly as it sounds: show kindness and improved the text as well. I could see that the girls that are swiping right on me are prettier even if I still get ugly-average girls. So I understand how much it is about the profile. I still need 2 pictures: Me being athletic (need to have the body for that, working on it) and me being well dressed (going to buy clothes at the end of the year, budget challenge here).

Pictures:

• Headshot in white coat (professional picture for CV) with a warm confident smile (profile picture)
• Paragliding with an instructor (adventure)
• With a cat on me, looking at the camera, cat loving it (kindness)
• Standing up and looking away at the sea on a black sand beach in Island (adventure)
• Picture of my back wearing a yellow jacket saying "Medical" on my back, watching over a crowd (protection, my best picture to show industriousness)
• Headshot of me smiling (selfie) in New Zealand with hot springs behind me in the jungle (adventure)

So too many adventure and lacking showing high status, high resource, athleticism. I used to put a picture of me rock climbing but it was so easy to climb that I removed it (looks lame to show up for something so easy).

Text

Physician, Engineer [from Famous Engineering School], Adventurer.

Used to put "Musician" as well but removed to streamline.

Confident, driven, ambitious, easy-going, funny

Trying to hit on what women are looking for (and what I actually am). Added "easy going" because I don't want a stuck-up girl.

Passionate about cultures and languages.

Fact.

Heritage: [swiss flag] & [moroccan flag]

It's like the height thing (which I don't specify on my profile). I want them to know I'm swiss because many women screen arab-looking men. I was born and raised here and not a muslim so culturally European and Swiss. I used to write: "I'm not muslim". I have nothing against this religion. The fact is I'm not a religious person and I don't want women to think I'm the stereotypical muslim/arab guy (which I'm not). Like height it's to prevent being screened out. I personally don't think it matters where my parents are from. If my father was colombian or congolese: so what?

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao Tseu

One of my favourite quotes from a very wise man. I can read it a thousand times and it always hits. Kind of describe my life (and everybody's for that matters) in a way.

Things I love: 

Hiking trips, Positivity, Road trips, sense of adventure, sense of humour.

I used to put what I bring: ambition, etc. and then thought it's better to put what I'm looking for in a woman. This one is tricky to use: do you show who you are or what you're looking for?

Profile prompts

Swipe right if... you have a positive attitude.

Favourite quality in a person... Respect.

What makes a relationship great is... Communication, Trust, Honesty, Respect.

Writing about the relationship thing kind of screens out the hook ups I think. Maybe not ideal maybe I should remove it.

Quote from John Freeman on December 30, 2023, 10:25 pm

Hello TPM community,

an update. Thanks to my GF (or not? posts coming up) she gave me (awesome) unrequested feed-back on my profile (so for free socially speaking):

Age: she's 31 y.o. and set her range to 33 to 49. She would have preferred more than 33 and less than 49. I personally cheat on my profile (my only lie that I am assumingt). I say that I'm 10 years younger, that is 33 years old. So I barely made it through my lie. Had I been honest I would have been right on her age target. For more explanation: I don't want to be screened out just for a number, so I stick to "politically correct age". I could see that there are young women interested in older man. The red pill is right about it. So I have the option to tell my true age. Which I won't as it gives me more options. Otherwise I go even more niche.

Appearance: I look northern African. I talked about it at length. In a Summary: it's been a few years since I realized how many people are carrying prejudices and negative stereotypes in their minds (I mean more than me). So I had to accept that when people see me they assume I'm muslim or foreign even if I was born and raised in Europe and don't know a lot about Moroccan culture. I put a swiss and moroccan flag on my profile. She told me that when she swiped right and she saw the moroccan flag I put. She swiped right knowing that I could or could not be muslim. She did not care. So it means that it is true, people will assume I'm muslim. And unfortunately this religion carries a negative stereotype in Europe generally speaking. That's the only issue in terms of dating, otherwise I would not care.

Niche: She's really into me: she loves my skin color, my beard, etc. So this also proved me that I belong in a niche. So I have a harder time with the "average" girl, but with the girls in my niche: I'm quite strong. So that's also proved a hypothesis I had.

So I tweaked my profile:

1. Removed the moroccan flag
2. Chose "agnostic" as religion (the closest to my beliefs): so I could avoid the labeling myself as "not religious" which could be interpreted as "not virtuous" as Lucio said.

Results: increased my number of matches regardless of the city significatively.