Former Community – We Moved
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My Journey to Power
Reading "How women control men", it gives me chills. Women are not nice nor cute. They are human beings who want what they want and will do what's necessary to get it. Including manipulation. The positive of red pill is to remove women from the pedestal I was conditioned to put them on.
Now, I'm on the pedestal and do my best to put myself first (talking this also in relationship to my male friends). I learned to put myself first in friendship, I'll put myself first in dating. I'm not here to serve anyone not even a woman, even if she's beautiful.
Worst case scenario: I have my hand and can have my freedom. It's crude I know but for real, the more I become high value high power, the less I need other people and that includes women. Does not make me a hermit, but gives me a choice and an option. Instead of having to bow to other people's interests (for sex for instance). So I'm my best friend and all the other person basically want to take from me.
It's sad but that's how I feel: at my job, in my family, with my friends, with this girl. I feel I give way more than I get and I have to defend against bullshit from my family, friends, at work and now this girl.
My god. I can only count on myself to have my best interest in mind. Humans are so selfish, it's FUBAR.
Not a rant, just value-suckers around me. Again talking about what's happening IRL, NOT the forum.
So of course, what do they want? More and more value... Talking about it I empathise with people feeling like that. As I wrote in other posts and in another post: it's normal to feel like that for (high value/high power/high quality) leaders. However, it's important to recharge otherwise we end up empty (as I feel right now as I'm writing this: my friends, work, family, the girl: drained me). But I'm taking responsibility for it, no victim here. I chose this and I said yes and not going to bed early enough.
So I guess it's half a rant. Hope there is some value in there for you guys. The message is:
As you become higher value and higher power and higher quality, the people who did not care at all about you are now interested in you. Well, not interested in you but interested in the value you can provide them. Keep calm and give some but take some time off to recharge.
Like suddenly: "Hey, we should get a coffee some time!" (what? you played power moves on me and now that you see me rising I'm interesting?).
It's a blessing that I'm working with children, it protects me form cynicism. I get to witness true love on a daily basis so it's a protecting factor. But once they're adults: OMG. And even earlier.
So so important to be a good role model to children. Actually, Bill Burr said (on top of my head): "What did you do of special in your life? Do you think that you're so awesome that it's worth having other people like you on the planet?". Well, he's a cynic but basically is it a net plus for society to have YOUR children in it. It was silence. From my POV everyone has the right to have children and I liked the idea he threw out there.
I'm out of here. Too much negativity in me (exhausted + absorbed too much negativity from other people) -> gotta go take care of myself.
@bel: you were right regarding JB. He’s not a friend. He’s got a fragile ego and he prefers to beat me/be above me than be my friend. He postures as a friend (gives me advice, etc.) to actually one-up me. He has an inferiority complex and this prevents any real friendship.
I wanted to believe otherwise. Same when we’re in love with a woman. Our feelings cloud our judgment. Despite our best intentions it’s difficult/impossible to see clear.
The last conversation was the last straw on the camel’s back. When I put it all together: my tastes in women, my political ideas, my philosophy, etc. I cannot talk about them with him. By countering me he had some good points: I was focussing to much on my “type” of woman but that does not allow him to shame me. So if one has to self-censor to prevent oneself from being shamed. This person is not a friend. An acquaintance yes but not a friend.
Thank you.
I make myself a promise: I shall not let myself be domesticated. I’ll give commitment and exclusivity according to my own interests without leading her on. I’ll put my interests first.
Same as I promised myself not to have children until I was mentally healthy and mature enough in order not to reproduce the harm my parents did. And I held this promise.
My freedom is too important to me. I worked and fought too hard for it. My freedom to think, be and do. I’ll only do things I want to do. Of course I’ll compromise it’s normal it’s not my way or the highway. Our freedom is actually the one thing that is ours: our choices (along with our own self). Most of the other things are either out of our control or transient.
I saw several friends who are domesticated by their woman and I lost tons of respect for them. They have to ask permission like a boy to his mama. I won’t be this man. I cannot go for being alpha and at the same time submit to anyone let alone a woman. If someone has power over me: at work, police, etc. Of course but not in other circumstances.
I chose my name Freeman for a reason.
I’m going full warrior mode. I write it here as a promise to myself. Transformation, alpha, the sleeper awakening, the whole thing. Today is easy as I feel the determination. Other days it won’t be as easy. I’m not advertising it. It’s a step to myself to do it. I’m making a promise to myself. It’s the only way. Using the dark side: anger. Otherwise there’s always an excuse, a reason, something more enjoyable to do. Fuck happiness, joy, peace, love. They won’t help me get there. Of course I will still live them. I don’t want to become a sad bitter man. But for the transformation they’re not helpful. The rage is.
Wish me strength, focus, determination, commitment, courage and sheer fucking will. Leaving no stones unturned.
That’s what it takes. The process only the process. Dreams turning to goals turning to process turning into reality. Sometimes one has to go extreme. It’s one of those times. I can feel it even if I cannot explain why.
I don't really know what the situation is S so I could be way off here.
I think there is a lot of downside to being too available at the beginning as I understand it this lady is relatively new in your life. specially goes for being to available on phone.
I would be dropping things casually into conversation like some days I don't look at my phone at all. It's just me babe I like to stay busy. And then keep to that.
Of course she will think you're off with some other woman in the beginning a little bit of competition doesn't hurt as long as it's not confirmed.
At the moment you are dating not hanging out. So both sides should be trying to make some effort. Which you can do if you are just seeing her once or twice a week. I would say twice a week Max to start with.
It is the nature of woman they are conflicted they want the drama the anticipation the uncertainty but then they also want the security. So you have to keep changing it up provide all of that.
Thank you Transitioned, agree with you 100%. Especially about the ambivalence about safety and excitation. They want (new) things happening but things that are not too threatening. At the risk of sounding a bit macho/condescending, as it is said in the godfather and as Lucio mentioned in a short (... your inner child) there are mindsets and behaviours we cannot allow ourselves if we want to be a successful man. However, women and children can allow themselves a certain degree of carelessness and naivete. It's the charm of innocence. And somehow to be effective as man, the price to pay is ripping the veil in front of our eyes and looking at the World with naked eyes: there is little innocence in the World.
I think the sweet spot is love and affection for sure but also with a bit of paternal amusement and tolerance sometimes.
Early days there will be small s*** tests and tbh if you were married for 100 years you would still get the occasional one.
If it was me what I would be thinking about is how often they happen. Generally s*** tests are a useful indicator of how your stock is trading. If a woman starts throwing out more shit tests then usual there is something going on in her head or she is starting to lose respect. This is the danger of hanging out too much instead of dating earlier on familiarity starts to breed to contempt. It needs to be a challenge for her to work you out and what you think of her.
Like I said I think the best thing is to avoid too much exposure and just stay busy. The challenge is you started going out with this woman not long before the holidays so in the inevitably it was going to be a bit of over exposure.
Another thing I know from experience is don't introduce her to your social circle too early. Keep the focus on you and her to start with. I used to use Meetup events for this I would take a chicky off to photography Meetup or a hike or whatever. It was an early way to test how well behaved she would be in group dynamics. If a woman is always looking for the BBD well then just enjoy the sex as long as it lasts. Since she is attractive just be ready for other guys hitting on her.
Lucio had that great bit from his own experience in pu about how to move a relationship from confrontational to collaborative.
My two cents on responding to s*** tests is always the most minimal response possible. the frame is bored or amused to start with, respond non verbally or with a one liner and then if she pushes it too far slightly annoyed and you withdraw your attention i.e leave the room.
You would know from TRP the rock and the sea. The woman is sometimes stormy. The man is steadfast and stays the course. Remember she is programmed at her age to be assessing you as the potential father of her child. She has to be sure that you can handle the curve balls
And sorry to double post but the incomplete sharing might have been a bit counterproductive.
On the s*** tests I would go two thirds reassurance to 1/3 slap down.
So when she s moody it might look like this
You reading a website. Hey there's some really good deals on holidays to Portugal. I hear Sortelha is amazing.
Her. You always want to go on holiday. Do you like running away.
You (with a sideways amused look at her)
C'mon (and turn back to your reading)
Her. You should take me to Cheval blanc. Sophia's boyfriend took her there and she said it was amazing.
You. Yea maybe we could do that sometime.
Her. Sofia s boyfriend always takes her nice places.
You. Walk over give her a quick hug. Any places nice babe if you are with me there.
Anyway I need to jet meeting a couple of mates at the gym.
So you can see it's a mix of non-verbals, frame ignoring and reassurance. And since she is not being any fun to be around your out of there. Bad behaviour gets less attention good behavior gets more attention.... simples.
Thank you very much Transitioned! (Changed my way: even if on phone I answer faster better effective than efficient).
Makes total sense to me. Going to post later on the latest developments and games.
I did the same mistake again. Approaching someone in their adult from the parent (transactional analysis), this never misses to trigger conflict and role inversion (from one-up to one-down). I have to learn this lesson once and for all.
Regarding romantic relationships and anxious attachment: a lot of me being single for so long is that I did not want to hurt nor suffer myself. In my dark side I accept it: there will be suffering. It’s all good. There is always suffering in romantic relationships. It’s like wanting to do horse riding without falling from the horse. Does not exist. All I can do is be as authentic, respectful and loving.
