Quote from Power Duck on January 23, 2024, 5:26 pm

Looks like it wasn't just a "joke" from hers, after the conversation from above she started writing longer texts with higher investment and in a more feminine wording.

Since it was too much and too fast I didn't directly thread expand on the flirting frame, I sent an emoji and offered helping her with said project in case she needed. Which is what ended happening, I made sure to start building momentum and tasked her so I could solve one problem she had, she complied, good. Since I felt I was overdoing the power part and maybe coming across a bit curt, I added a bit some warm and an sticker, mixing it with high power.

Her: can you send me a photo of your result, pleease

P.D: Ya

Her sends cute sticker reacting to "ya"

P.D sends photo: there you have it

P.D sends cute sticker

Her: thanksss

It may look dumb, but I want to find the right balance between showing warmth and not coming across as too feminine when I try to smoothen things when I'm too high power. Too much and she may lose attraction, barely showing warmth and she self rejects.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 23, 2024, 5:41 pm

You can tease a bit before sending.

Or send the picture right away without "ya" is better since the compliance is a one-off instead of 2.

Quote from Power Duck on January 23, 2024, 5:50 pm

Thanks Lucio.

It does look like a small tweak but the more I think about it, the more I realise how such a big impact complying too much can make.

By "one off instead of two", I suppose you mean that with only the photo I comply one  time instead of two times.

The teasing part is deeper than I thought, delaying the compliance and doing it on my terms, and of course increasing rapport and familiarity.

 

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 23, 2024, 5:54 pm

Yes, exactly as you said.

The teasing also increases rapport and just makes for a more enjoyable time interacting with you.

In a way, the teasing is "less masculine"... But it just works better, so.. Fuck over-doing masculinity if it doesn't serve you :)

Quote from Power Duck on January 25, 2024, 4:58 pm

I went to college today and talked with this girl, leaving aside the one upping. For some reason she constantly one ups me with this: " I told P.D if he wanted to be my boyfriend the other day and she reject me"

That didn't happen.

She said that around 5 times in 2 hours, when she was bringing me home in her car alongside a childhood friend of hers, (and potential frenemy of mine) she kept with that one upping:

Her: you know what T? The other day I told P.D if he wanted to be my boyfriend and he rejected me.

P.D: again with that, that didn't happen.

Her: yes it did.

P.D: ok when did it happen.

Her: here in this car when I was bringing you home

P.D: that didn't happen, if it had I would've told you that I had to think about it. (Empowers her, maybe with that she would shut up)

Her: too late, no I don't want to.

P.D: alright, I'll call the next girl in line

Her: yeah I'll do the same (didn't hear too well what she said)

P.D: looks like we both are very solicited

I don't know if she's trying to catch my attention by one upping me with that or what, but if she keeps like that she's going to get me far from her.

Quote from Power Duck on January 30, 2024, 2:26 pm

After speaking about it with John (thanks again for the feedback man)

I'm growing more conscious about my resentment towards women, its the childlishness and the inmaturity what triggers me, as well as all the lies that delusional and naive people push in media. The fact that I saw myself many girls go from not even acknowledging my existence to wanting to talk and flirt with me as soon as I pack some muscle and act cocky made me lose respect for them.

But that's most people overall, no one is free from the influence of power dynamics, some are conscious about their instincts and unconscious mind and do something to control it, others are clueless. One can't be angry at the lion for eating the gazelle or at the rain drops for falling. It's simply how we humans socialise. It's the law of nature.

Also in the end I know that the root of my anger comes from the need to feel accepted and needed, any social being needs to feel that.

So at least I'll accept myself fully (not saying that one shouldn't change for the better of course).

What makes us different is the ability to trascend instincts and become more, placing our deep self worth in things that our more primal instincts value regardless of virtue is placing our worth in animalistic values.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 30, 2024, 5:09 pm

Great going PD, that sounds like a high-level, and very productive* level of self-analysis.

You address that resentment, you'll be more effective, happier, and make your future partner(s) better off, and the people around you -win, win, win-.

Quote from Power Duck on January 30, 2024, 9:26 pm

Thanks Lucio.

Yeah, lately I've been starting to realise that one's mindset and metal health are quite important to increase social effectiveness, more than I initially thought. Sometimes improving the foundation can make big changes I believe.