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"Perfect!" power move
Quote from John Freeman on July 28, 2023, 11:40 amAnother thing that I do from time to time is:
- "For the birth (newborn), is it planned this blood exam?"
- "Yes it's planned resident knows about it.
- "Perfect"
- ”great/cool/super thanks”
I still notice that superiors will make sure that if you say “ok” or anything like this they always make sure to have the last word: “ok” back or “perfect” or anything that communicates that they’re the ones in charge.
So it may sound a little weird the « ok » back and forth but this is what they do. So it seems socially appropriate. So I have to experiment more with it. I think I’m afraid to come across as too domineering and therefore afraid to have a bad reputation: that people would talk bad behind my back. The good old fear of ostracism. So I have to have the balls to assert my dominance when called for if someone is asserting theirs on me.
On the phone I’m comfortable doing it. For instance when a service provider says « perfect » I’m perfectly comfortable of saying « very good ». It does not fail to put them back in their place. The tone is cordial though. When I do that I feel they’re a bit ashamed for trying to dominate a customer.
Another thing that I do from time to time is:
- "For the birth (newborn), is it planned this blood exam?"
- "Yes it's planned resident knows about it.
- "Perfect"
- ”great/cool/super thanks”
I still notice that superiors will make sure that if you say “ok” or anything like this they always make sure to have the last word: “ok” back or “perfect” or anything that communicates that they’re the ones in charge.
So it may sound a little weird the « ok » back and forth but this is what they do. So it seems socially appropriate. So I have to experiment more with it. I think I’m afraid to come across as too domineering and therefore afraid to have a bad reputation: that people would talk bad behind my back. The good old fear of ostracism. So I have to have the balls to assert my dominance when called for if someone is asserting theirs on me.
On the phone I’m comfortable doing it. For instance when a service provider says « perfect » I’m perfectly comfortable of saying « very good ». It does not fail to put them back in their place. The tone is cordial though. When I do that I feel they’re a bit ashamed for trying to dominate a customer.
Quote from John Freeman on July 28, 2023, 7:11 pmJust to make sure it's clear: the post above is the follow-up part to a post on the previous page.
Just to make sure it's clear: the post above is the follow-up part to a post on the previous page.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 29, 2023, 3:13 pmYeah, don't perfectly know the situation, so can't properly advice here.
But I'd generally say that if others above you do it and you feel you sometimes should do it to others at your level or below, then yeah go for it.
Yeah, don't perfectly know the situation, so can't properly advice here.
But I'd generally say that if others above you do it and you feel you sometimes should do it to others at your level or below, then yeah go for it.
Quote from John Freeman on July 29, 2023, 8:39 pmThanks Lucio.
That’s how I feel it’s like a language evolution in my environment. Many people using it on a daily basis. Hence my reflection to deal with it as intelligently as possible.
Thanks Lucio.
That’s how I feel it’s like a language evolution in my environment. Many people using it on a daily basis. Hence my reflection to deal with it as intelligently as possible.
Quote from John Freeman on August 4, 2023, 8:27 pmI now understand why I was so annoyed by the "Perfect" power moves, it's because it's highly dominant:
- Good job power move: comes from a higher-up/tasker usually
- It's a conclusion: it signals "this is done, let's move on"
- It's low effort/low investment: therefore highly dominant.
Both are very leader-like and they're combined in one expression.
So that's why those "Good job/very good/perfect" power moves are so powerful and therefore annoying when inappropriate. I think that they're actually dark orange power moves rather than plain orange.
See also this thread from Transitioned.
I now understand why I was so annoyed by the "Perfect" power moves, it's because it's highly dominant:
- Good job power move: comes from a higher-up/tasker usually
- It's a conclusion: it signals "this is done, let's move on"
- It's low effort/low investment: therefore highly dominant.
Both are very leader-like and they're combined in one expression.
So that's why those "Good job/very good/perfect" power moves are so powerful and therefore annoying when inappropriate. I think that they're actually dark orange power moves rather than plain orange.
See also this thread from Transitioned.
Quote from John Freeman on September 14, 2023, 10:56 pmI thought of another answer to people who are "perfecting" all the time. To surface it by mocking it through repetition:
Her: Perfect!
Me (exaggerated tone): PERFECT!!! (cheeky smile as in "this is cute/funny", babying actually)
I thought of another answer to people who are "perfecting" all the time. To surface it by mocking it through repetition:
Her: Perfect!
Me (exaggerated tone): PERFECT!!! (cheeky smile as in "this is cute/funny", babying actually)
Quote from John Freeman on November 13, 2023, 2:49 pmI have a new take on this.
Now that I feel (much) more powerful than before I don’t care as much about this.
I don’t feel the loss of status when they do it. Now I have the choice either to check it or not. I still think it’s best to check it automatically. Now I see as what it is: a pathetic attempt at one-upping someone who’s a superior. I knew it but now I feel it. So it actually makes me feel more like I feel compassion for them. I’m aware it sounds patronizing and it is. Why would someone do this? In Belgium during the training no one was pulling these types of low power moves. So it shows poor character more than anything else.
I have a new take on this.
Now that I feel (much) more powerful than before I don’t care as much about this.
I don’t feel the loss of status when they do it. Now I have the choice either to check it or not. I still think it’s best to check it automatically. Now I see as what it is: a pathetic attempt at one-upping someone who’s a superior. I knew it but now I feel it. So it actually makes me feel more like I feel compassion for them. I’m aware it sounds patronizing and it is. Why would someone do this? In Belgium during the training no one was pulling these types of low power moves. So it shows poor character more than anything else.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on November 13, 2023, 4:04 pmYep, bingo.
That's what I often think when someone focuses on exact words.
Of course there are exceptions and words are also important, we know that.
Plus, it's an important step towards empowerment.But generally speaking the tendency to ignore/fly higher is what one acquires once he feels more grounded and confident -a good place to be in-.
And when he focuses more on the bottom line and goals than the smaller stuff along the way.
Yep, bingo.
That's what I often think when someone focuses on exact words.
Of course there are exceptions and words are also important, we know that.
Plus, it's an important step towards empowerment.
But generally speaking the tendency to ignore/fly higher is what one acquires once he feels more grounded and confident -a good place to be in-.
And when he focuses more on the bottom line and goals than the smaller stuff along the way.
Quote from John Freeman on November 14, 2023, 11:04 amThank you Lucio!
But generally speaking the tendency to ignore/fly higher is what one acquires once he feels more grounded and confident -a good place to be in-.
That's exactly how I currently feel.
Thank you Lucio!
But generally speaking the tendency to ignore/fly higher is what one acquires once he feels more grounded and confident -a good place to be in-.
That's exactly how I currently feel.
