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Typos, Grammar, Syntax, & Content Improvement - Megathread

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At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/high-value-socialization/topic/advanced-rules-life-applications/:

  1. under #2: "It’s a one-off, unless you decide so and unless you make up for it (VS part of a patter of endless giving)" ["pattern"]
  2. "Rever of The Law Example: I helped her move, and she asked for more" ["Reverse"]
  3. "She was quite far and would taken her many trips back and forth with heavy loads, so I rented a car and helped her out". ["and it would have taken her"]
  4. "Plus, remted cars are paid in time, so my financial burden was also growing." ["rented"]
  5. "And it would have been properly account for as well. We’d have both been better off, actually." ["accounted"]
  6. "This is the TPM’s proverb:" ["TMP's proverb"]
  7. under #5: "Think of it again in terms of financial terms:" ["in financial terms"]
  8. "Give and go back to a neutral account (a provide an answer)" ["and"]
  9. "...(“Rempump technique”)" ["Repump"]
  10. "The beam-counting trap..." ["bean"]

This lesson is eye-opening, I now understand many of my former mistakes with takers.

On how to avoid the "You're bean-counting" defense when a taker is a friend or family member, or in any case has pre-framed the relationship as a "friendship" or "family"

One thought: what if the takers are in fact "family" or "close relationships"?

(Or if they have framed the relationship as a "close friendship" or "family" precisely to then be able to criticize fair value marketing as bean-counting)?

Which is something that, I now understand, has happened to me lots of times. Including here: this guy had emphasized the (fake) "friendship" frame precisely to accuse me of bean-counting when I asked to be paid.

How to avoid them then framing our "reminding them of the value one gives/has given" as "bean counting"?

An example:

This is precisely what my former boss did to me when I started (unconsciously) trying to pre-frame the relationship as an "independent work relationship".

I now realize he was in fact a master of framing my asking for payment as "bean counting".

He did so with tone of voice and facial expression, without verbalizing it.

When I started working with him from the outside, I would say:

Me: We need to agree on a fee here before me doing the work.

Him: Of course you'll get paid!!! Nobody works for free here!

(facial expression and tone of "how dare you insinuate I am taking anything from you!" and "you're so venal!")

I was at a loss there.

I think if this happened to me again, I could either go surfacing, as in

Him: Of course you'll get paid!!! Nobody works for free here!

Me: Nice you say that, as last time I did this, this and this and I think we both forgot that I should have received a fee for those things. But don't worry, that was then and this is now, let the past be in the past 🙂

(trying to subcommunicate: not only you are totally off the mark in framing me as bean-counting, but you still owe me, even if I'm so kind as to let your debt in the past - for now)

Or maybe one should dismantle the "friendship frame", I think the ideal could be to remove it from the case at hand (not altogether, which could be seen as nasty).

Tentative alternative to your suggestion in the thread above, to check if I'm starting to understand how to handle this:

Taker: Considering you worked for a shorter time than foreseen, I am sad that you didn’t give me a discount on this, not even in consideration of our friendship/our being relatives.

Me: Of course you're my friend, and when I can I'm totally glad to be of help - as I did many times in the past. But in this case, the work was very complex and high-responsibility, and actually took longer than foreseen. So please proceed to pay my fees.

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Lucio Buffalmano

Edit: I incorporated the above, which I wrote here in the spur of the moment, in a post I entered in my journal, with some additional thoughts / potential solutions.

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Lucio Buffalmano

BOOM!

Thank you so much, Bel!

Fixed the typos now as first thing, and going to get deeper into your follow-up later.

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Bel
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/high-value-socialization/topic/how-to-recognize-takers/:

  1. "Of course, a on-off switch, but it’s more like a spectrum:" ["it's not an on-off switch"]
  2. "You only truly assess people when they need nothing from you, and when they have power, more on it later) [missing opening "(" and closing "."]
  3. "For example, the mindset of the jaded and inverate" ["inveterate"]
  4. "And then disappearing or turning cold or even rude when they don’t you need anymore." ["don't need you"]
  5. "Taking in area spills over any other area" ["in an area"]
  6. "their taking may be limited to coming across as rude, but not in cheating, stealing" ["not extend to"]
  7. "STill, we generally stay from catch-all rules" ["Still"]
  8. "For example, if you can tie down a taker to make sure that your interest align with him" ["interests", "his"]

Eye-opening.

I now understand the most likely reason why those colleagues turned on me: they simply got that I was gaining more than them from our relationship and sought to turn the tables.

On "see how they behave when they have power": often the taking increases after a bond has been officialized. Meaning, these people are initially more giving, but as soon as they tie you down (eg: you sign the partnership agreement; you marry them or their relative; you have a child with them or their relative; you jointly buy the house) then all bets are off.

Some even try to create artificial bonds to this aim. Eg: a "taker father" proposing to his adult son to give him all the son's money for him to manage; a "taker businessman" letting a fellow businessman be appointed in a high-visibility, high-paying role in a client company, and then using this leverage - and the threat of removal - to start taking from his colleague as much as possible from then on.

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At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/high-value-socialization/quizzes/social-exchanges-strategies-quiz/:

  1. under the first quiz boxes: "He tries to make a beta tester without giving anything" ["gain" or similar]
  2. under the first quiz boxes: "He frames his product like a life-safer" ["saver"]
  3. under the second quiz: "We review this scene again to make a point: The social exchange permeates all of our social relationships. Consider this a micro-lesson as well. Let’s watch Michael Corleone meeting Joe Greene:" ["the", "Moe"]
  4. under the second quiz: "There is a frame battle that has its root son the social exchange."
  5. in the second quiz boxes: "Mo" instead of "Moe" across the texts
  6. in the second quiz answer: "Mo" instead of "Moe" across the text; "Yet, most of your social exchange..." ["exchanges"]
  7. in the third quiz boxes: "It's low power because the asker come across as "too easy to please"" ["comes"]

The explanation on the "thank you dynamics" is very helpful, I can now address this better.

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Lucio Buffalmano

At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/social-success-principles/topic/fundamental-principles/:

  1. subparagraph is 1.2.3 instead of 1.2.2
  2. "And some others times, some conflicts are just unavoidable". ["other"]
  3. "...minimizing the possible children’s harm." ["harm to children"]
  4. "Pro Tip 1:" ["PRO Tip 1", in line with PRO Tip 2 below]
  5. "approaches like ... distancing yourself emotionally while you build them up is far, far from effective." ["are" and "more"]
  6. "...Accept The Flaws, It’s Part of Being Humans" ["They're" and "Human"]
  7. "...preferring fair deals to take advantage of others" ["taking"]
  8. This strategy demands that you must learn that you learn how to read people." ["you must learn how"]
  9. "more on the “eagle lesson”)" ["in"]
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Lucio Buffalmano

BOOM!

Thank you so much, Bel!

Fixed it now.

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Bel
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/social-success-principles/topic/collaborative-reframing-technique/:

  1. It was important for all of us to get customers, but that meant that sometimes had to push some “high-priority” work on the product guys or on the credit analysts. [“sometimes I had”]
  2. Negotiations, by their very nature, have a tendency for turning adversarial [missing closing “.”]
  3. Or they may start antagonizing you at a personal level, trying to exact revenge, not following through wit hthe deal, not dealing with you again n the future, or any nastiness you don’t want in your life
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At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/social-success-principles/topic/cover-your-ass/ :

  1. Relationship Example: She May Cheat… Not The Of The World, Is It? [“The End Of”]
  2. For example, if you have many friends for example and one turns out to be a backstabbing frenemy,
  3. More than single solutions though, [“specific”]
  4. when condition change, so do the incentives for… [“conditions”]
  5. … may start moving or working less; When your fortune changes [“when”]
  6. Grow closer, becomes friends, [“become”]
  7. Cast ego aside and make the first step [“take”]
  8. With the exception for dictatorships, paranoia harms you above certain level [“above a certain”]
  9. Late Trump broke many of our foundational laws. he made too many enemies, [“He”]

At https://thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/social-success-principles/topic/be-straight/ :

  1. And that often means that people will see you out [“seek you out”]
  2. Main paragraph is numbered 6 instead of 1
  3. Subparagraphs are numbered 4.2 … instead of 1.2…
  4. Ellen De Generes [“DeGeneres”]
  5. Give back when givenOwn up to your mistakesApologize when in the wrong [twice “a capo”]
  6. especially for smaller and inconsequential matter [“matters”]
  7. Dominance over manipulation, words salads, [“word”]
  8. In cultures of honors, also: [“honor”]
  9. there are extremely important benefits to a reputation for a truth-sayer. [“to reputation”]
  10. Stick to the truthunless there are great
  11. Warning: Places When NOT to Be Straight(and when to) [“Where” and “where”]
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