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Using social proof & preselection to boost attraction

#1 · January 6, 2020, 10:58 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 6, 2020, 10:58 am
Social proof and, even more, preselection, are extremely effective in seduction.

Two quick definitions:

Social proof refers to having social status among a certain social group

Preselection means being wanted by other women

Early pick-up artists emphasized stories to display social proof and preselection.
And stories are not bad idea, but you must be careful to deliver them at the right time (unlike early pick-up artists), or you come across as showboating (a great time is when you're both opening up and/or a bit tipsy, so it truly looks natural).

However, showing always beats saying.
And if you can find natural ways to drop social proof and preselection, you will see an immediate uptick in your results.
Here is one example:

She likes taking pictures, and previous text was about the "beautiful temples", together with one more culture-related picture. So this SMV-boosting picture fits rather "naturally" within the conversational flow.

The Steps of Effective Mate Signaling

To maximize your mate-signaling efforts:

Get the material, behaviors and results you are going to signal about

Brainstorm all the honest signals you can use for your true results

Brainstorm how you can disseminate those signals in the most natural way

When you start thinking of how to increase your social proof and your preselection scores, you can probably come up with a few proofs and examples already.
And when you have the material, you must shift your focus on making that material fit naturally.

Then the third step, is to market those proofs better.
Marketing is about presenting things in the best possible light. Social proof and preselection are not much different.

In the example above, what it looks like is probably more than it actually is.

In truth, people didn't come over because of me.
They came over because there was a blonde girl with me. But that only helped more: why was she there with me? It added preselection on top of social proof.

Then, knowing about the power of this whole situation, I immediately asked the Japanese guy with us to snap a pic of the situation, and send it to me.
There, now I have a strong proof of preselection.
And you can see from her reaction how well that works.

P.S.:
And this is also why you never want to take a picture with anyone who's not your friend. Don't ever let me catch you taking a pic with some skimpily dressed marketing woman, or with some famous guy: it truly devalues you.
Plus, despite the initial ego-boost, well-adjusted people don't want to be close to anyone who idolizes them -and especially not in a relationship-.

Social proof and, even more, preselection, are extremely effective in seduction.

Two quick definitions:

Social proof refers to having social status among a certain social group
Preselection means being wanted by other women

Early pick-up artists emphasized stories to display social proof and preselection.
And stories are not bad idea, but you must be careful to deliver them at the right time (unlike early pick-up artists), or you come across as showboating (a great time is when you're both opening up and/or a bit tipsy, so it truly looks natural).

However, showing always beats saying.
And if you can find natural ways to drop social proof and preselection, you will see an immediate uptick in your results.
Here is one example:

She likes taking pictures, and previous text was about the "beautiful temples", together with one more culture-related picture. So this SMV-boosting picture fits rather "naturally" within the conversational flow.

The Steps of Effective Mate Signaling

To maximize your mate-signaling efforts:

Get the material, behaviors and results you are going to signal about
Brainstorm all the honest signals you can use for your true results
Brainstorm how you can disseminate those signals in the most natural way

When you start thinking of how to increase your social proof and your preselection scores, you can probably come up with a few proofs and examples already.
And when you have the material, you must shift your focus on making that material fit naturally.

Then the third step, is to market those proofs better.
Marketing is about presenting things in the best possible light. Social proof and preselection are not much different.

In the example above, what it looks like is probably more than it actually is.

In truth, people didn't come over because of me.
They came over because there was a blonde girl with me. But that only helped more: why was she there with me? It added preselection on top of social proof.

Then, knowing about the power of this whole situation, I immediately asked the Japanese guy with us to snap a pic of the situation, and send it to me.
There, now I have a strong proof of preselection.
And you can see from her reaction how well that works.

P.S.:
And this is also why you never want to take a picture with anyone who's not your friend. Don't ever let me catch you taking a pic with some skimpily dressed marketing woman, or with some famous guy: it truly devalues you.
Plus, despite the initial ego-boost, well-adjusted people don't want to be close to anyone who idolizes them -and especially not in a relationship-.

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#2 · January 6, 2020, 11:34 am

Also notice that there is a lot of the least discussed elements of dating power dynamics here:

Skin color
Blond hair -still an advantage for most women the whole world over-
Factors of cultural dominance
The "foreigner" effect
Sexual market place imbalances
Sexual market value hacks

It also offers an opportunity for reflection on relationships and relationship quality when there are big power differentials both between cultures and individuals.

In my (unpopular) opinion, on average, picking mates from poorer countries should be a last resort only (exceptions apply, of course).
Maybe I'll do a post on it one day, albeit it's a very thorny subject.

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#3 · September 27, 2020, 11:02 pm

Another great post, Lucio.

Don't ever let me catch you taking a pic with some skimpily dressed marketing woman, or with some famous guy: it truly devalues you.
Plus, despite the initial ego-boost, well-adjusted people don't want to be close to anyone who idolizes them -and especially not in a relationship-.

Your comment really made sense and was contrary to my initial instinct (in the case of the example of taking a pic with a famous guy). My friend that used a dating service shared some of the guidelines they had for profile pictures. Some of them were the expected like having a pic of you doing interested activities, conveying you're well of by travel pics in exotic locations etc. But the one that I found the most interesting was the suggestion to have a pic of you with some friends to show that you are social but *never* to have a pic with a better looking guy as the girls first reaction would be, I'd rather have that guy. And when going through women's profiles with friends, I immediately realize that I have the exact same reaction.

I'm very curious to hear why you are of the opinion not to pick mates from poorer countries. If feels a little contradictory to the course material that says that if you're a provider moving to a place that is not as "rich" will enhance your SMV.

Thanks,

#4 · September 29, 2020, 5:33 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 29, 2020, 5:33 am
Very good observation, Frank.

It's an interesting subject on how the people around you can either increase your value, or decrease it.

For example, I avoid entering any venue with groups of people as it's almost always better to go in by yourself.

But in some situations, attractive friends can help.
I've known of plenty of guys who got laid with attractive women because their model-looking friends got them into groups of attractive women that they wouldn't have entered by themselves ("snitch strategy", works best with fame/throwing money around, but snitching on looks can also work).

I'll talk more on it on an upcoming "Seduction University".

Quote from frank on September 27, 2020, 11:02 pm

I'm very curious to hear why you are of the opinion not to pick mates from poorer countries. If feels a little contradictory to the course material that says that if you're a provider moving to a place that is not as "rich" will enhance your SMV.

Thanks,

F

Thank you for rectifying that, I should have been more careful.

What I mean is:

At parity of attractiveness, then 1st world should be your 1st option

That's because of a few reasons, including:

You can be safer that she chooses you because she likes you and your character / personal traits

There is no "taking her from 3rd world to 1st world risk", which can uncover a few issues

3rd world family sometimes expect the male partner will support them too, which can lead to some relationship issues

1st world is usually better educated

1st world boosts your social status more (and 3rd world might decrease your status)

1st world tend (tend!) to be more confident, less passive, and to contribute more actively, which make for overall higher power since she brings her own contributions to the union

That being said, that's only true when that initial condition of "at parity of attractiveness" applies, and the above are just general tendencies. So one should judge on a case by case basis.

Otherwise, what you say is also 100% true.
And indeed, picking a mate from a better sexual marketplace, which can include lower competition or simply appreciating your assets better, well... That might be one of the biggest sexual hacks available.

Very good observation, Frank.

It's an interesting subject on how the people around you can either increase your value, or decrease it.

For example, I avoid entering any venue with groups of people as it's almost always better to go in by yourself.

But in some situations, attractive friends can help.
I've known of plenty of guys who got laid with attractive women because their model-looking friends got them into groups of attractive women that they wouldn't have entered by themselves ("snitch strategy", works best with fame/throwing money around, but snitching on looks can also work).

I'll talk more on it on an upcoming "Seduction University".

Quote from frank on September 27, 2020, 11:02 pm

I'm very curious to hear why you are of the opinion not to pick mates from poorer countries. If feels a little contradictory to the course material that says that if you're a provider moving to a place that is not as "rich" will enhance your SMV.

Thanks,

F

Thank you for rectifying that, I should have been more careful.

What I mean is:

At parity of attractiveness, then 1st world should be your 1st option

That's because of a few reasons, including:

You can be safer that she chooses you because she likes you and your character / personal traits
There is no "taking her from 3rd world to 1st world risk", which can uncover a few issues
3rd world family sometimes expect the male partner will support them too, which can lead to some relationship issues
1st world is usually better educated
1st world boosts your social status more (and 3rd world might decrease your status)
1st world tend (tend!) to be more confident, less passive, and to contribute more actively, which make for overall higher power since she brings her own contributions to the union

That being said, that's only true when that initial condition of "at parity of attractiveness" applies, and the above are just general tendencies. So one should judge on a case by case basis.

Otherwise, what you say is also 100% true.
And indeed, picking a mate from a better sexual marketplace, which can include lower competition or simply appreciating your assets better, well... That might be one of the biggest sexual hacks available.

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#5 · September 29, 2020, 6:02 am

For some reason I failed to see the blonde girl to the left, and I was thinking, yeah those cute girls may work as preselection maybe, yet they are too young I think? until I saw the blonde girl.

big LOL!

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#6 · September 29, 2020, 3:46 pm

Absolutely on point, Lucio. Context and own personal preferences and situation matters and you did excellent in highlighting the a more attractive girl from a 3rd world / different culture. Sometimes I wonder if moving from a city like Boston to a smaller city in the US is the ticket to a huge SMV boost, but alas, being a city person, I'd be bored out of my mind as a single person in a small town without much night life or social activities. I am 42 yrs old which isn't an anomaly being single in cities like NYC and Boston but I worry in smaller towns most my age would be married with kids so I'd have a hard time building any social circle or have market value!

#7 · September 30, 2020, 8:10 am

Yes, it would probably give you a boost.

You'd be a bigger fish in a smaller pond.

But smaller ponds also make fishes smaller, so you'd have to be careful to remain as driven and go-getter.

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#8 · December 13, 2020, 1:35 am

Hi Lucio

I am curious - seems like there's possibly another teachable moment here. Were those 2 girls you had in arm friends? If not how did you manage that? I've travelled in Indonesia a bit and the local muslim girls aren't much for touching.

#9 · December 13, 2020, 9:50 pm

They came over for pictures, so it was either we'd just stand there with awkward distance, or... You just act warmer.
I think they preferred it that way, but just were too shy (and repressed) to act more expansive.

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