We have already reviewed the basics of sexual market value.
In that lesson, we focused on intrinsic and personal values such as looks, character, intelligence, resources, etc.
But the individual’s sexual market value is complex, and also includes environmental and cultural factors.
And in this lesson, we will review those external factors.
And what you can do to control them and leverage them to your benefit.
- #1. Gender Ratios’ Impact On SMV
- #2. Racial’s Impact on SMV
- #3. Cultural Impacts on SMV
- #5. Government’s Impacts on SMV
- #6. Children’s (& Age) Impact on SMV
- 7. Personality & Preferences’ Impacts On SMV
- 8. Social Influences’ Impact on SMV
- 9. The Temporal-Mode Impact on SMV
- SMV Is Highly Relative
- Summary SMV Tips
#1. Gender Ratios’ Impact On SMV
Gender ratio has a huge effect on the balance of power between genders.
The best contribution came from an economist, Jon Birger’s work in DateOnomics.
So, what happens when we change the gender ratio?
When there are fewer men than women:
- Women have less power in demanding resources and commitment in exchange for sex
- Men tend to pursue short-term dating strategies rather than one based on monogamous continued investment
- Cheating in monogamous relationships increases
When there are fewer women than men:
- Women tend to become choosier
- When men land a woman, they appreciate her more, are more jealous and more protective.
The gender ratio is one of the most underappreciated variables in dating, and one of the most powerful determinants of intersexual power dynamics.
SMV Hack: Move Where You’re a Minority
If you are serious about maximizing your returns, choose professions and fields where your gender is the minority.
If you want to find a mate more easily and more quickly, consider moving to places and cities with more of the gender you are seeking.
Women and men who want to enjoy the quickest boost in their sexual market value power be better advised moving to a place with better gender ratio (quick solution) than working on themselves (the long-term, harder solution).
I call the former “lateral mobility”, and while everyone focuses on self-development, such as “upward mobility”, the former is far quicker.
Or, better yet, simply do both.
#2. Racial’s Impact on SMV
A chart speaks more than a 1.000 words:
The chart paints a clear picture: white skin is (still) the favorite for men. For women, it’s best to be Asian.
Overall, people tend to like people who have the same ethnical background.
This is taken from OKCupid data, and OKCupid is mostly popular in the West, so also keep that in mind.
The “exotic bias” might be at play too, here. A black man wouldn’t get as many points from a black woman in Africa because there are many black men there.
And an Asian man wouldn’t get as many points from Asian women in Asia, for the simple fact that there are many of them and different races might get “exotic” points.
From a more general point of view: the impact of race can be huge. But it works mostly a “business card”.
Race is the superficial layer and matters less once you get to know the person. Then, all the other qualities we talked about take center stage.
Exceptions of course apply, with some people being potentially super-prejudiced or having strong personal preferences.
That being said, first impressions do matter.
On average, race matters more for women than for women.
Both from a judger point of view and from a judged point of view.
For a few reasons, including:
- Because men are judged by women on more traits, meaning that race gets “diluted” among all other traits that matter
- Men are, on average, more looks-oriented
- Women care more about racial stereotypes because they are, in general, pickier and more risk-averse
- Women are more attuned to what others think, so if a certain skin color is considered “safe” or “high-status” in their culture, women pay even more attention to it than men
As a final note, black skin is a big polarizer in the West.
Some men and women will be turned off while others will be very attracted to it.
Being a polarizer can be a good thing as you get stronger reactions and waste less time with ”maybes”.
SMV Hack: Move Where You’re Most Prized
Move where your skin provides you the biggest advantages, or move away from areas where you’re at a disadvantage.
Asian men might want to consider moving out of predominantly white and black countries, while black women might want to reconsider living in Asian countries.
White men get a huge boost in African and Asian countries, and men from richer countries always get a boost in poorer countries.
#3. Cultural Impacts on SMV
Culture is a hotly debated topic.
Of course, the debate is wholly ideological, because what’s natural and what’s cultural is actually quite easy to discern.
And a good part of it is also well documented.
When it comes to dating, nature is more important than culture.
But the influence of culture is still deep and powerful.
Here is how culture influences the sexual market value:
- Female dating power and sexual freedoms increase with cultural liberalism while the value of chastity disappears
The type of culture, open and libertine or conservative and repressive, has a huge impact on dating power dynamics and the traits that men and women seek and advertise.
For example, cultures where sexual mores have become open and libertine do not value chastity (the Netherlands, Scandinavia).
But in more restrictive cultures female chastity is still a valued prize (rural China).
In short, it works like this: when men can expect chastity and when it’s relatively common for women to marry virgins, men value and seek chastity.
When chastity and virginity are rare, men drop it.
Liberal cultures also tend to award more power to women, since women tend to have better education, better access to jobs and, hence, are less materially dependent on men.
Liberal cultures also tend to afford and grant a litany of social and legal protections to women, empowering their dating sexual choices -that’s not to say though that women always make the smartest choices with that freedom-.
2. Female slim / plumb figure
Another culturally-sensitive trait is the “slim VS plumb” body built.
Men don’t seem to have an inbuilt preference for a rigid amount of fat.
Some have speculated that the amount of food and resources available influence what’s considered “higher status”, with poorer tribes preferring plumber women.
3. Skin tan / hue / color
Skin color is another trait that seems to ebb and flow along the variables of time and cultures.
White skin in middle age Europe was cool, while today a tan is cool.
As for everything, plenty of exceptions apply and personal taste matters, of course.
But on average, outside of the west, the preference is for pale/white skin.
4. Openness to casual sex and short-term dating
The culture influences how open or not open the local men and, especially, women are to pursuing casual sex.
Looking at the average sexual partner count by country, for example, provides a rough overview of how open a country is to short term sex.
5. Eyes / nose shapes
The attractiveness of the size of eyes and noses is not culturally determined, but the shape is.
See as an example the thriving industry of plastic surgery in South Korea, enlarging eyes and adding eyelids, and adding height and depth to the base of the nose.
6. What counts as status symbols, & resource signaling
In Western society, and today in much of the world, men spend to acquire consumerist indicators of their spending power.
But what counts as indicator of status and wealth is culturally-determined and.
Some authors have opined that in a different society individuals might come to compete in “conspicuous charity” instead of “conspicuous spending on random artifacts”.
But businesses have more spending power and better marketing than charity organizations, so probably we’re stuck with what we have for a while.
Signs of commitment are also largely, but not wholly, cultural.
Nothing said a diamond is a woman’s best friend until an advertisement first said it.
7. What counts as proof of kindness and “good heart” (ie.: virtue-signaling)
Yes, virtue signaling is a weak form of sexual signaling.
We typically interpret certain ideological positions as “good” or “bad” and assign “good” or “bad” etiquettes to people depending on which ideological positions they espouse.
People who espouse good ideological positions are seen as being magnanimous, kind and “having a good heart”. Even if those positions might not really be rational or helpful.
Those ideologies are, in good part, culturally-produced.
Read more in this forum entry.
8. Dominant / Subordinate culture
What’s culturally prizes is what’s culturally dominant -we go back to power dynamics here-.
Western culture, predominantly and historically white, has been the most dominant society in the last centuries.
So typically white physical features have also been regarded as valuable in many other cultures.
See an example here from a Korean plastic surgeon website:
Within the global trend, there are also plenty of smaller cultural influences.
Black men, for example, received a boost in some countries and subcultures thanks to the success of rap music and culture.
And Asians can enjoy a boost among subgroups that appreciate specific Asian cultural aspects. For example the Japanese can take advantage of international crowds of manga lovers, circles in which Japanese men and women receive a tremendous value boost (women more than men).
Usually, it works like this: subordinate cultures tend to value and prize dominant cultures. And individuals from the dominant culture receive a sexual boost (a positive bias of “high status”).
When there is a lack of clearly defined “superior/inferior” cultural branding, the “foreigner” status is polarizing, but usually it’s best being a polarizer and standing out (see an example of its positive effect here, in a city of millions).
SMV Hack 1: Pick A Job & Place Where Your Culture is Dominant
If you’re serious about maximizing your potential, think if you can move into places, workplaces, or cultural niches where your background and culture are dominant.
SMV Hack 2: Seek a Culture, Then a Mate
Humans have a vast array of sexual behavior they can select from.
And what they select tends to be in good part determined by the culture.
So it makes sense to seek mates in cultures that best fit what you are looking for.
If you seek monogamy, it makes sense to pick mates from cultures where monogamy is successful. If you seek supportive men, it makes sense to choose men from cultures that value supportive men (China). And if you seek docile and kind women, it makes sense to seek them from cultures that value those qualities (Japan, Taiwan).
On the other hand, if you seek easy sex and equal partnerships, move to more libertine cultures.
#5. Government’s Impacts on SMV
How does the state influence the intersexual dynamics and sexual market value?
Simple: the state can provide -or not provide- the financial and child-rearing support that women should otherwise seek by themselves.
In more socialist countries women get unemployment benefits, time off, free kindergartens, etc.
Socialist states give more power to women and decrease the need for a male provider. Socialist states, in a way, boost female choice and casual sex because they lower the risks connected to casual sex, including the risks to reputation.
Rumors of being a cheating slut are less dangerous to a woman in Scandinavia than to a woman in a poor rural village in Africa.
As we have seen, women who compete for loyalty and chastity signs tend to resize in societies where they are more dependent on men and where the culture is more conservative.
SMV Hack: Move Where Your Best Quality Is In Short Supply
If you live in a rich socialist country, the “provider dating style” is not so attractive: lovers fare better there.
And if you live in a poor country or in a liberal country, making money will have an even bigger impact on your sexual market value.
#6. Children’s (& Age) Impact on SMV
Some authors believe that a child makes a woman much less attractive.
And, in many cases, they are right.
But “many cases” is not all, as other authors have pointed out.
A woman with already one child might be less attractive for men who have no children themselves and want to nest up.
But it might not be a big handicap for men who are not interested in long-term dating, for men who also have children, or for men who don’t want children themselves (her children are his raincheck pass on having to provide her with some).
Plus, a woman with children advertises some good traits about her.
What are those traits?
1. Stayed alive for longer while raising children
Any woman who managed to reach her mid-thirties and raise several children successfully while staying attractive might have made a better genetic bet for a choosy male than an untested teenager of unproven fertility.
2. Proved -and honed- her mothering skills
The proof of her mothering abilities is right there with her living children. Plus, she had the chance of gaining mothering experience.
3. Proved her fertility
What better proof of fertility than existing offspring?
This ties back to the case for mothers past their 20s still being highly attractive potential mates (the “MILF” phenomenon).
This older MILF, FB connection of mine, was far hotter than many younger women:
SMV Hack: If Witohut Children, Settle Down At Your Peak
It’s best to seek a mate when you are at the peak of your sexual market value.
Yes, age and children are not the death knell some make it to be, but they do matter. And for women, age matters the most. It’s best for women to settle down with a high quality man while they are at their peak, in their mid twenties.
Plenty of exceptions but, on average, it’s simply common sense: you would rather negotiate when you got your strongest hand, right? Same for negotiating a mate.
7. Personality & Preferences’ Impacts On SMV
Personal preferences and personalities have a huge influence on the dynamics and power dynamics of the sexual marketplace.
Its influence is probably larger than culture, and it’s usually severely underrepresented because studies and research focus on averages, not on outliers.
7.2. Low VS High Sex Drive & Asexuals
People differ in their drive and in the intensity, frequency and lust with which they seek and enjoy sex.
Individuals with low sex drive are less interested and prone to casual sex, and short-term dating strategies focused on sexual arousal work less well with them.
Comparatively, other traits like resources, emotional bonding, and intellectual stimulation work better with low sex drive and asexual individuals.
Statistics are unreliable for asexuals, but a popular statistic computed them at around 1% of the population, the incidence being higher among women than men.
7.3. Individual Variance in Short-Term VS Long-Term Dating
One important and well-established area in which personality influences mating behaviors are the so-called “socio sexual orientations”.
Sociosexual orientations refer to the propensity to engage in short-term dating, and it presents large individual variations.
Said in simpler terms: men and women differ in their likelihood of seeking and enjoying no-strings-attached sex with casual partners.
And both men and women differ in their levels of fidelity.
7.3. There Is Always an Exception: Why Dating is a Number’s Game
Any rule presents its exception.
But not all rules have the same amount of exceptions, with some rules being almost universal and others being little more than a coin toss.
So, for example, the general rule that women like taller men than they are, has very few exceptions (albeit I’ve personally seen exceptions there, too).
But the general rule that women like a mannish man instead has a lot of exceptions and the “boysh” and more feminine looks appeal to a relatively large swath of the female population.
Some exceptions to common rules include:
- The general rule is young female is better, but older MILFs can be exceptions (plus a few gerontophiles do exist)
- The general rule is that powerful alpha male is attractive, but some women are (also) attracted to more feminine-looking men
- The general rule is that men prefer large breasts, but a few men prefer smaller breasts
There is a mitigating factor to personal preferences though, which also contributes to keeping the outliers out of the public eye, and that’s the social pressure.
People tend to stick to the social norm publicly and keep their “outlier preferences” hidden. The reason why is simple: “outlier taste” often translates into just “weird” in the public eye, and that would be costly for their social status.
In our previous example, you will rarely know which man is a gerontophiliac because, out of social pressure and social status reasons, they will not be seen publicly with really older women.
That being said, the exceptions are still real.
And the personal variance is one of the reasons why sex and dating truly do are a number’s game.
SMV Hack: Work Hard (& Smart)
Never stop trying my friend.
No matter where you stand, it’s still all a number’s game.
But work smarter, too, taking into account all other components of the SMP and how you can better package and present your SMV.
8. Social Influences’ Impact on SMV
Attraction is not simply what she likes but, in big part, also what other women seem to like.
From a genetical point of view, she wants offspring that can easily find a mate to further procreate.
And if other women like it, well… What many women like is statistically (and genetically) more important than one single woman likes or doesn’t like. Even if that woman is herself.
This means that attraction is not highly objective but, in part, it’s also a social construct. And that’s why female attraction is also social and influenced by what other people (especially women) seem to like.
And since humans are not computers, there is also a good amount of “guesstimating” what other females find attractive.
That’s why one night a man with two women flirting with him is a sought-after man at the bar and the following night when he’s sitting alone he might be a wallflower.
SMV Hack: Boost Your Preselection Score
Learning to move socially in a way that makes you look in demand and high status can make the world of difference in small venues and social circles.
Curating your online presence to showcase social status and female preselection can also reap strong rewards.
Leaving some women’s items in your room can also help to look preselected.
9. The Temporal-Mode Impact on SMV
We have already mentioned how men and women change preferences and behavior depending if they are in “casual sex mode” or “long term mode”, which sometimes they refer as “casual” or “serious”.
Attractive and sexy men see a boost in their value when women are willing and ready for casual sex, since women become more like men in short term mode (plus men who can position their wealth as an “exciting experience”).
Conversely, women who are more the “complete package”, with intelligence, good jobs and an appearance of seriousness and loyalty also see a boost in their overall value when men are looking for long term partners.
This tells us that the environment and the culture, whether it’s filled with lots of casual sex or lots of individuals pursuing long-term relationships, also gives different value and power to different individuals.
A sexier man in a very conservative culture will have less short-term dating power than, say, during spring break or college circles. While a wealthier man will have more power to attract a high-quality long term mate in environments and culture where women have more of a “long-term mindset”.
SMV Hack: Hot Men Move to Party Towns, Provider Guys Move Out of Wealthy Party Towns
Sexy men will maximize their value in party-towns, among younger crowds and, for lack of a better word, shallow environments.
- Men with money but no looks
Men with money but without good looks have little to offer in party environments.
They can secure a higher quality mate in more conservative environments where most women do little casual sex and are more focused on long-term dating.
- Men with game, but without looks
Men with game but without looks must avoid looks-first environments such as pool parties, beach, loud venues (unless they can dance and lead sexually), etc.
Dress well to make up for the abs and pick up anywhere where you can talk while wearing some clothes.
Men who have neither looks, nor money, nor game, nor status… Well, do get something, bro :).
SMV Is Highly Relative
Individuals’ sexual market values varies enormously.
Those who say that “those who get laid, get laid anywhere” are truly missing the point and men who are unsuccessful under certain conditions can become very successful under others.
Just as an example from personal experience: white men in Africa.
When I visited a few African countries, some women stalked me to find me on FB and complained when I didn’t find time to meet them:
This was a pretty lady, too, and it was also a big city. Trust me, women don’t stalk me in Europe.
Plenty more women in Africa kept texting and asking me when I would go back, far more often than in any other world region.
Of course some of them might have wanted me also as potential a ticket to Europe, but the passport is also part of the whole personal package. And it’s one of the reasons why your sexual market value varies enormously.
Summary SMV Tips
Now it’s time to plot and strategize:
1. Know your market.
Are there more women, or more men?
What’s the culture in there, more short-term or more long-term? Is it sexually open or conservative?
Is it a rich country, does the state provides all the resources and women need less providing?
2. Know your competition
How’s the competition like, how do you stack up to it?
Are they more lovers, more providers, boring and dull?
You can either choose to do better than your competition, if you got the means, or to differentiate yourself.
That decision depends on your tastes and your potential.
3. Know tour niche
What niche could you carve for yourself?
If everyone is a narcissist, then dressing to the nine and buying “more expensive clothes” is not the answer for you because you’ll only join the masses. Maybe best to go the artist way, or show that you don’t care about that “superficial stuff”. That could be a powerful niche if it fits your personality.
But if everyone dresses terribly, then nice clothes will make you stand out like nobody’s business.
Finally, finding a niche is all about advertising that niche. How can you advertise and market them most effectively, in a high-quality fashion (and without looking tacky?)?
4. What do you want?
What do you really want?
More success, sure, but do you have specific measures for that success?
Get laid a lot, get laid a bit then settle down, or settle down with a high-quality partner?
Knowing what you want will help you lay out a strategy.
5. Be real: tough love for success
Don’t buy into the “feel good” BS.
If you’re a woman and want a mate, then settling down early is better than later. You can settle down at any time, but negotiating when you got more negotiating power is better.
If you’re a man, there is no point in denying that resources can help you secure a more high-quality mate.
6. Next steps, low hanging fruits… Drastic measures, maybe?
Prioritize your next steps.
But don’t stop at what you can do easily, think out of the box, “drastic” measures are not really that drastic.
Are you really in a bad market?
Is there little you can do? Are there maybe great potentials in different markets?
Maybe a career change or a geographical move could be in the cards.
The result of this analysis will give you tremendous insights, together with the tools to powerfully boost your sexual market value.
Chances are that there are a few low-hanging fruits you can pluck very easily.
7. How are you going to meet your mates?
Finally, remember that it’s a number’s game.
You can’t just pump your value and wait around. You need to meet people. How are you going to meet them?
Where do the people you like to hang out? How often are you going to go there?
Because dating is a number’s game, the great news is that the results, are largely up to you.