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What I'm Doing, (Maybe Where :) ) & Why

#221 · October 7, 2023, 3:16 pm

Hello Ali,

Thanks for sharing. Yeah it’s tough to overcome trauma.

What helped me the most on this healing from abandonment journey was (once again) to work on self-esteem.

You can check out “self-esteem” by Matthew McKay. Worth listening to.

Otherwise I would invite you to continue writing here on your healing journey. That is self-introspection. In my case I found it very helpful as you can put your thoughts in written form. Or in a journal. I would also consider seeing a psychotherapist even if I know that in the US it’s quite expansive. It’s worth it I think. I’m sure you know I did this in the past and I’m doing it again.

#222 · December 31, 2023, 1:55 am

Quote from Ali Scarlett on December 31, 2023, 1:55 am
Hello everyone,
Wanted to share a reflection on the year and my future plans as we transition into 2024.
Growth
Some of the main ones:
Introducing myself to and joining new social groups as if it's natural: one woman I met recently even asked if it was difficult for me, seemingly surprised I did it so comfortably
Improving my frame control skills has improved my negotiation and sales skills: I've now closed over $120k worth of business for my cleaning company since I started doing (only some!) of the negotiations last year. (If only Lucio would make a Sales University course, I'd pay any price for it :) )
Better at and more comfortable saying "no": thanks to a (pricey but effective) applied meditation teacher I started working with a couple of months ago. (It took understanding and adding the mindsets from Ultimate Power in my meditation script, and I'm now feeling the change)
Probably one of the biggest signs that true, deep change is taking root within me is that even the way I conduct myself in my dreams has changed :).
2024 Projects
The targets are:
NM course content completion
NM course launch
I finished writing the course in September, but my marketing team recommended I add more lessons.
So, I've read 56 books on networking over the past three months while upgrading the content and have 10 books left to go on the reading list.
Once I'm done upgrading NM's course content, my next moves will probably be to:
Finish writing the "frame control" book next year: and I'll leave it up to Lucio if he wants to publish it once the manuscript is done or sometime later.
Finalize TPM's "best networking resources" list: once I'm done reading the 10 books left in the list.
Update (and maybe publish) The Clever Connector, Second Edition: now that I've done much more research.
After that, I'll probably get back to work on helping to update TPM's "best entrepreneurship resources" list.
I've curated an even stronger list of entrepreneurship books now by gathering the required readings of top Ivy League business schools in the US and Europe. From what I've seen so far, we may have to have two lists, one for "solopreneurship" (the current one) and another for "entrepreneurship" which may be the result of this new reading list. But, let's wait and see.
Marketing
I plan to continue keeping an eye out for any feedback I can provide to TPM on its marketing as I nurture my skills in that area.
TPM Meetup
Hopefully, if all goes well with the course launch, I'll be able to budget some of the course revenue toward my trip to this TPM meet-up.
It'll be a long-awaited treat to meet, eat, and shake hands with everyone :).
Questions I'm Pondering
I'm giving some thought to my next steps after the course launch.
So far, everything's going great:
Two people have already agreed to help promote the course to their audiences: so, at the moment, it would be promoted to roughly 90k people (including my email list)
A neighbor friend of mine just offered to recommend the course to his consulting firm: he says they already invest thousands into training and development and that they would likely get the course for its 300 employees
However, I have to remain open to the possibility of the course launch underperforming anyway and start looking at different paths.
Some ideas I'm thinking about (all of which would be after the big 2024 projects are done):
Getting a job located away from home and relocating to that area: ideally, in a paid volunteering position or something related to working for a nonprofit. (More than getting the chance to hopefully do some good, I'd also be able to access more people for my social circle. I have many friends now, yet none of them are my age due to living in a retirement community :) )
Going to college: most of my step-family went to Howard University (one even works as an administrator who oversees all applications) except for one I know of who went to Harvard. So, I could go to Howard or one of the other Ivy League schools I was invited to apply to by a friend who's connected to all of them through a program he believed I'd be a fit for due to my achievements and character. (My main concern with this route is that my time may be better spent continuing on my current path somehow. And, so far, everyone I've spoken to says college wouldn't be a fit for me.)
Starting dating next year: it'll be like starting from scratch for me. I seem to have a more comfortable time pulling women older than me and a harder time attracting women my age. I think it's due to growing up too fast (I didn't get a childhood). My emotional maturity has led older women to find me attractive and younger women to find me...boring :). Hopefully though, as I improve, that'll be more value I can bring to the forum later on as someone who's become more advanced at dating.

Hello everyone,

Wanted to share a reflection on the year and my future plans as we transition into 2024.

Growth

Some of the main ones:

Introducing myself to and joining new social groups as if it's natural: one woman I met recently even asked if it was difficult for me, seemingly surprised I did it so comfortably
Improving my frame control skills has improved my negotiation and sales skills: I've now closed over $120k worth of business for my cleaning company since I started doing (only some!) of the negotiations last year. (If only Lucio would make a Sales University course, I'd pay any price for it :) )
Better at and more comfortable saying "no": thanks to a (pricey but effective) applied meditation teacher I started working with a couple of months ago. (It took understanding and adding the mindsets from Ultimate Power in my meditation script, and I'm now feeling the change)

Probably one of the biggest signs that true, deep change is taking root within me is that even the way I conduct myself in my dreams has changed :).

2024 Projects

The targets are:

NM course content completion
NM course launch

I finished writing the course in September, but my marketing team recommended I add more lessons.

So, I've read 56 books on networking over the past three months while upgrading the content and have 10 books left to go on the reading list.

Once I'm done upgrading NM's course content, my next moves will probably be to:

Finish writing the "frame control" book next year: and I'll leave it up to Lucio if he wants to publish it once the manuscript is done or sometime later.
Finalize TPM's "best networking resources" list: once I'm done reading the 10 books left in the list.
Update (and maybe publish) The Clever Connector, Second Edition: now that I've done much more research.

After that, I'll probably get back to work on helping to update TPM's "best entrepreneurship resources" list.

I've curated an even stronger list of entrepreneurship books now by gathering the required readings of top Ivy League business schools in the US and Europe. From what I've seen so far, we may have to have two lists, one for "solopreneurship" (the current one) and another for "entrepreneurship" which may be the result of this new reading list. But, let's wait and see.

Marketing

I plan to continue keeping an eye out for any feedback I can provide to TPM on its marketing as I nurture my skills in that area.

TPM Meetup

Hopefully, if all goes well with the course launch, I'll be able to budget some of the course revenue toward my trip to this TPM meet-up.

It'll be a long-awaited treat to meet, eat, and shake hands with everyone :).

Questions I'm Pondering

I'm giving some thought to my next steps after the course launch.

So far, everything's going great:

Two people have already agreed to help promote the course to their audiences: so, at the moment, it would be promoted to roughly 90k people (including my email list)
A neighbor friend of mine just offered to recommend the course to his consulting firm: he says they already invest thousands into training and development and that they would likely get the course for its 300 employees

However, I have to remain open to the possibility of the course launch underperforming anyway and start looking at different paths.

Some ideas I'm thinking about (all of which would be after the big 2024 projects are done):

Getting a job located away from home and relocating to that area: ideally, in a paid volunteering position or something related to working for a nonprofit. (More than getting the chance to hopefully do some good, I'd also be able to access more people for my social circle. I have many friends now, yet none of them are my age due to living in a retirement community :) )
Going to college: most of my step-family went to Howard University (one even works as an administrator who oversees all applications) except for one I know of who went to Harvard. So, I could go to Howard or one of the other Ivy League schools I was invited to apply to by a friend who's connected to all of them through a program he believed I'd be a fit for due to my achievements and character. (My main concern with this route is that my time may be better spent continuing on my current path somehow. And, so far, everyone I've spoken to says college wouldn't be a fit for me.)
Starting dating next year: it'll be like starting from scratch for me. I seem to have a more comfortable time pulling women older than me and a harder time attracting women my age. I think it's due to growing up too fast (I didn't get a childhood). My emotional maturity has led older women to find me attractive and younger women to find me...boring :). Hopefully though, as I improve, that'll be more value I can bring to the forum later on as someone who's become more advanced at dating.

Lucio Buffalmano, Kavalier and J Les have reacted to this post.

#223 · January 3, 2024, 6:31 am

Rock on, Ali!

Lots of great stuff there.

P.S.:
If you ever want one day to expand on those older women thing, it may be interesting.
I know a ton of younger guys are interested in older/more mature women.

Ali Scarlett and Kavalier have reacted to this post.

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