Quote from Ali Scarlett on September 20, 2023, 2:16 am

It's been a rough past few weeks.

Networking Mastery

Someone managed to hack TCC.com a few months ago and install a script so money from each course sale would go to their Stripe (bank) account.

Luckily, we hadn't launched yet. So, I got to learn about my site's vulnerabilities in a real-life scenario for free.

Plus, I see it as a compliment. In a way, it meant my course's marketing is so good that they assumed we're already making so much money, we're worth the effort to try to break into and steal from.

It was still a difficult ordeal though.

Many lessons were lost and my web designer kept trying to convince me to pay him to rebuild the entire website from scratch to avoid the malware hack happening again (which just felt like a poor attempt to get more work/money out of me).

But, finally and thankfully, I've not only recovered and rewritten all the lessons but expanded the course with more brand-new content. (Plus, created backups on two platforms.)

Sick (for Now)

I have COVID.

I've been bedridden, in and out of the hospital, and generally unproductive for the past few days waiting to recover (although, my friend keeps telling me to stop focusing on productivity right now and just focus on getting better...and I know he's right).

The doctor says I should be good by next week.

Receiving Love from You Guys :)

Saw this kind note on one of the TSS book reviews the other day:

Thank you for the kind words, Ben!

It was pleasant to read and the first positive feedback I've gotten on a work of mine that was so grand :).

And a message from someone who reached out to me today:

Another thank you to you as well man (name redacted for privacy just in case).

This very short exchange was still a great reminder of one of the reasons I love people so much.

Quote from John Freeman on September 20, 2023, 6:50 am

Hey man,

plenty of lessons as you grow your business. Better earlier than later. The adaptations you made will definitely set you in a better position.

I’m sorry to hear you were sick but happy to know you’re better. :)

This thing can be a real drag if not worse. Yeah I agree with your friend. Health is number 1. I don’t think it’s a couple of weeks that are going to affect your business in the long term.

It’s also cool to see the recognition you get. It’s important to get this positive feed-back on things we put effort into. I feel it’s just the beginning!

Get well soon! :)

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 20, 2023, 10:11 am

Thank you for sharing Ali.

Sucks about the Covid -speedy recovery on that, glad it sounds like you're moving forward!- and hacking thing (crazy sh*t man :S).

As for the developer, always sucks and pisses me off 10x when someone tries to take advantage of a problem to leech even harder.
Right when you need help, the vultures descend.

Unrequested opinion from someone who has no idea about the details: keep things simple (and cheap).
If you need a developer to start out, you're already over-complicating things, and potentially even creating future issues with the custom code.
Just get a good theme / course deliver system that works out of the box, and go with that (saves a lot of money, time, and hustle).
And here's hoping that this above advice is nonsense and doesn't apply.

As for the rest: rock on, man.

Looking forward to the updated The Social Strategist book and audiobook, and seeing what Networking Mastery will look like.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on September 26, 2023, 9:02 am

Quote from Ali Scarlett on September 20, 2023, 2:16 am

Someone managed to hack TCC.com a few months ago and install a script so money from each course sale would go to their Stripe (bank) account.

Luckily, we hadn't launched yet. So, I got to learn about my site's vulnerabilities in a real-life scenario for free.

Maybe it's a crazy thought, but wanted to share anyway just in case.

I'd consider if the developer may be involved in this.

Just to be sure, once he's done with his work, remove the user.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on September 26, 2023, 4:52 pm

Hi Lucio,

It's possible.

I had a similar thought due to how it started. The site was running fine until I hired him. Then, he sends me this:

Notice the language:

Not, "Your website is producing an error message," which would've been simply pointing out an issue.

It was, "I can see your website is not working," as if he analyzed and diagnosed an issue (already on the track of trying to position himself as the problem solver I need to give more money) and then rather than simply explaining the issue in the chat, proposing a Zoom call (which felt like it might've been a move to get me on a sales call).

And the final move: proposing that I hire him to rebuild the entire website from scratch.

I've already logged him out and changed the password.

But it would be good news if he was the one who hacked the website because that would mean my site is less vulnerable to outside attacks than I thought (and it was an inside job).

Quote from B on September 26, 2023, 6:23 pm

Hi Ali,

this is incredible.

Is this the same developer that initially made the opening gambit of "accidentally" deleting the user of the prior developer?

If so, this is truly a case study in possible malevolent behavior.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on September 27, 2023, 1:36 am

Hi Bel,

This was a different developer, I seem to have bad luck finding good ones sometimes despite my vetting process :).

However, I'd still consider this a possible case of destructive behavior.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on October 3, 2023, 3:17 am

Doing Some Healing

In recent months, I've been thinking back to this post here and there because it's been a conundrum for me.

On one hand, I'm cool with sharing it because it's just another learning experience that others could learn from. And I'm also cool with Lucio bringing it up / talking about it because it only helps more people if they learn from my mistake.

But, the small detail of "did Ali make this mistake on accident v.s. on purpose to build his antifragile ego" still bothered me.

For some reason, it's as if I really wanted people to know that my mistake was no mistake (even though it was such a small thing).

Now, after some thought, I've finally figured out what it is.

For those who read my first book, you already know the exact details of what happened when I was 16 years old.

One day, my health collapsed unexpectedly, without warning, and (according to the doctor), without cause.

I was in a hospital bed dying.

Both parents chose to be at work hours away (albeit I don't blame them, money was rough for us back then).

But, my father didn't take the situation seriously, he assumed it was a simple sickness that would be resolved soon and around that time didn't offer any emotional/social support.

And my mother had been abusing me before my health decline. So, during this ordeal, she didn't care about my well-being and now that I was confined to a hospital bed, used it as an opportunity to be without me.

However, I had been dealing with my parents for years and didn't expect any better from them.

It was my friends who I thought I could count on.

And yet, none of them were there. Not even a text.

Instead, they were partying, chasing girls and, enjoying their lives.

In my mind, they had left me to die alone.

So, when April left my LinkedIn network it was more than losing a "business contact."

She was a friend. And it felt like abandonment all over again.

So, I felt that I had to:

• Prove to myself: that my behavior that drove her away was not a mistake, so I could believe that I have the skills to avoid being abandoned again. (A poor attitude of, "She only left because I wasn't trying and if I were, she would've stayed.")
• Prove to others (including you guys): that, again, my behavior was on purpose, so you all might think that I'm better than that mistake and not worth abandoning. (Thinking, "I don't want you to think I'm making those kinds of social mistakes because if you do and see that April left because of it, you guys might leave too." It's not the most rational thought, but I think thoughts that stem from trauma rarely are.)

So, finally, after realizing this, I'm able to move forward with a better attitude:

Mindset: "It's OK if I get abandoned again and, as a matter a fact, if it does happen again, I'll have an even better experience this time because I've grown so much from [that time] when I was 16."

This wasn't the easiest to write, but I know you guys are cool about vulnerability here on the forum and I also want to promote awareness surrounding the potentially dangerous effects of trauma.

In this case, my trauma often causes me to inflate small things into big things (and that's something I'm still working on).

And sometimes I need to step back and see things for the size they are by recognizing that the root source of how I'm viewing the situation is from when I was emotionally wounded. (And then build positive mindsets around that understanding and self-awareness.)

P.S.:

One of the biggest things that made me truly believe it's OK if I get abandoned again is self-love.

I've started to figure out how it works now (in terms of translating self-loving actions to positive feelings that make a difference) and with my new process for practicing it, I'm really making progress in this area.

The simplified method is this:

1. Pick a day to spend with yourself (and only yourself).
2. Ask yourself, "What would have to happen today for me to look forward to it, enjoy it, be happy by the end, and look forward to doing it again?"
3. Then, plan that day to involve those actions, activities, and events.
4. Enjoy the day, practicing gratitude throughout and smelling the roses (in my case, also doing some prayer to express that gratitude to God).

In my case, since my life was difficult from lots of abuse, I plan my day around what would bring me peace and relaxation (which helps me learn that I am enough to find peace in my life).

In your case, it might be planning around what brings you excitement and stimulation (which could help you learn that you are enough to experience life enjoyment).

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 3, 2023, 10:58 am

Awesome post, Ali!

Thank you for sharing.

This may actually be article-worthy.

Something like: "healing from abandonment / neglect", or even "one technique to heal from (insert whatever adjective you feel is appropriate) parents"