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What's in it for them guys, WIIFT, never forget it!

Love these exercises :).

Here's my guess:

Lucio, can you (the "can you" empowers you to be able to say "no" and gives you an out) do me a favor ("do me a favor" = I know you won't be getting much out of this, hence why I'm being honest about it being a favor to me) and scan the signed authorization form over to me, please ("please": can't go wrong using respectful communication with a high-quality individual—using it once at the end also avoids overdoing it)?

Reason I ask is the mandatory refurbishments will add up to over €1 million. And, these are mandatory refurbishments we don't want to deny (avoids using the inherently low-power "can't"). So, if you want to (the "if you want to" preserves your power) save money on this, that form will give us our best shot at spreading the cost over three years (avoids the "we should" to follow the assertive feedback-giving rule: give advice in close relationships and information in non-close ones).

If you could ("if you could" gives you back your freedom to avoid the task) scan that form over I'd be very grateful ("grateful" = I'd find a way to make up for this in the future). And, if you don't want to, no worries, it's up to you (a variation of the "on your honor gambit"—it empowers them to make the final call while helping you come across less desparate...which is always good for negotiations).

What do you guys think?

Lucio Buffalmano and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmanoselffriend

Much much better, Ali!

Albeit no email can guarantee action, that increases the odds, plus does not annoy the receiver -which is a big win in itself-.

Another option was also to be very clear about the give-back, and done in a friendly manner.
Something like:

I know you're busy and a freedom-lover :), I wish I'd have that attitude and lifestyle myself, so no pressure (BOOM! Now she's using empathy well: she knows me! And she's building me up in the same sentence. Plus, now she's giving me the full credit: if I do this favor, I do it in spite of me not liking external tasks on my to-do list: she's making it explicit that it's a big ask in my world).
Happy to invite you over for dinner when you come back, maybe with Lyn, our new neighbor, she's pretty cool (she had introduced a new neighbor who seemed cool, and she might have added real value by organizing a dinner together: it's always good to have a dinner with cool people, plus making friends with your neighbors). Of course, we'll do that no matter the signed paper or not 😀 (so now it doesn't seem like she's playing tit for tat. Now I want to earn my "right" to sit at that dinner while being a value-giver, so I want to send that paper)

Of course, the fact that she had recently intro-ed someone was a coincidence since she had put this new neighbor in CC -I had to make the move and intro myself-.
But that was an opportunity loss to give value: instead of randomly putting people in CC, introduce them to each other. Neighbor gain from knowing each other and being friendly to each other.
And since it's so important for her to get those condominium stuff doner her way, she could make her work so much easier if she'd give value by making herself the "connector".
She's also looking for a guy BTW, and connecting people and asking them to bring along a friend for a dinner together will only bring more men in her life, increasing the odds of finding a partner.


Some other ways to make it easier

  • Attach the form all filled up: you need the form, then at least fill it all up except the signature. Then say "it only needs the signature"
  • Say "also a picture is fine": it's 2021, still scanning shit? Ask if a picture is also fine, she also has the email record of me OK-ing if someone complains. That makes my work easier
  • Ask if an electronic signature is OK: maybe I can sign it electronically, or with Photoshop. She desperately needs that form, she must find out
  • Ask me if there's "any other way she can support": that makes her communication kinder, less "dominant" -which is always annoying-, and might give her something to work on to get it done
Astronomically Revolutionised, Ali Scarlett and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Astronomically RevolutionisedAli Scarlettselffriend
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?