Gary Vaynerchuk talks a lot about EQ and ’emotional intelligence’.
So one would assume he has a lot of it, right?
He constantly says he loves people and emphasizes Emotional Intelligence.
Then… he must be good with people and have EQ in spades.
Well, not necessarily.
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Intro: Gary Vee EQ
Whenever I watch online interviews, I pay close attention to patterns—especially in communication, power dynamics, and social intelligence.
And when I saw Gary Vaynerchuk in this interview with Seth Godin, I was surprised. It was one of the clearest examples of communication breakdown I’ve seen.
To be clear, this isn’t personal criticism. It’s an analysis of communication habits. What happens in this conversation offers several powerful lessons on what to avoid if you want to connect with people, build rapport, and communicate effectively.
Seth Godin himself eventually threatens to get up and leave.
Let’s go over Vaynerchuk’s recurring communication patterns—and how to avoid making the same mistakes.
#1. Interrupts All The Time (0 Listening Skills)
Interrupting is one of the worst habits in conversation—and one of the most common reasons why communication fails (as explained in Difficult Conversations).
The more passionate we are about a topic, the more tempted we are to jump in. But this damages both the content and emotional quality of the interaction:
- Interruptions reduce the listener’s attention and engagement
- They break rapport and mutual respect
Cognitive bandwidth is limited. When someone is interrupted, they can’t process ideas calmly. Instead, they get defensive, angry, or just check out.
From a rapport standpoint, interrupting signals egocentrism. We bond with people who care about us and listen to us—not with those who constantly talk over us.
Even worse, when you jump in with your opinion too soon, you often misunderstand their point. And the conversation feels disjointed.
Watch this example:
Exception: When She Wants to Impress You
In certain dating scenarios, a woman may interrupt—not out of rudeness, but eagerness to connect or fix a past mistake. In those cases, it’s more endearing than aggressive.
The best response? Smile and signal that it’s OK. It reinforces that she’s emotionally invested—and you’re socially intelligent enough to recognize it.
#2. Seeks Differences Instead of Building Consensus
When someone shares an opinion that differs from ours, it’s natural to disagree or correct them. But constantly highlighting differences can kill rapport.
Especially when someone is trying to bond or share something meaningful.
Case in point from the interview:
Gary Vee: Seth, I hate science.
Seth Godin had just praised science as one of the great achievements of humanity. Responding with “I hate science” isn’t a playful quip—it’s a rapport-killer.
Especially when your partner is still emotionally invested in their statement. It can feel invalidating or even disrespectful.
Example: Right… and Alone
Many years ago I went back to a girl’s place with a bottle of wine as we chatted and flirted along the way.
That must have been an easy one, right? Well, it should have, yes.
But when she aired her very left wing opinions on genders, gypsies and “integration policies” this dumbas* escalated what was a bonding conversation into a discussion (super un-sexy).
I started explaining why my ideas were “right”, and I wanted to prove it. I wanted to win.
Of course, there are no winners in those scenarios, only losers.
Rapport was shattered, romance was gone… And I went home in my hand’s company soon after :).
#3. Breaks Rapport Repeatedly
Gary often interrupts, disagrees, and competes in conversation. It becomes less of a dialogue and more of a performance.
Even when you technically “win” an argument, if it comes at the cost of warmth and connection, it’s a hollow victory.
Example with Seth Godin:
Gary challenges and disrupts—Seth holds frame—but the overall emotional quality deteriorates.
Contrast: How to Maintain Rapport
This year I had one of the most remarkable dates I have ever had.
She wanted to become a shaman.
She had occult talents, was in touch with otherworldly entities and she was sure aliens live among us. Or so she professed.
Of course the dumber side of me wanted to debate that. And to possibly prove it wrong (argh!).
But thanks God this time I knew better.
I told myself I was going to learn from this and stay nonjudgmental, warm and supportive. So I got curious. I inquired, dug deeper, shared my local stories of occult and.. Rapport and bonding sore.
They sore very high,,, ;).
#4. Overuses “NO”
“No” is one of the most powerful—and risky—tools in conversation. It instantly shuts down ideas and establishes hierarchy. That may build authority, but it destroys collaboration and warmth.
Example: Conversation Shutdown
Her: (…)
And this is my great idea!
Me: Oh that’s cool, seems like mobile marketing will be key to get traction
Her: No, it’s more about partnerships..
Me: Yeah, that too I guess, both are important. Germany would be a great market to start with
Her: No, I want to start with..
Repeated “No’s” sent a clear signal: she didn’t value my input. I walked away from the project—not because of the business plan, but because of the communication pattern.
Tip: Don’t Say No to Compliments
When people give you a compliment or offer connection, rejecting them with a “No” feels like a slap.
Even if the compliment doesn’t resonate, accept it. To do otherwise breaks connection and signals detachment.
Tip for Sales Professionals
In sales, avoid correcting your prospect—even when they’re wrong.
Customer: So it’s kind of like X, right?
You: Yes, a bit like that. And also… (insert your message)
— or —
You: That’s a cool angle. Actually, what we offer is more like…
Agree first. Then build. That keeps rapport strong and makes them feel heard.
#5. Struggles to Go Deep
Surface-level talk is fine at first. But real connection happens when people feel heard, validated, and emotionally understood.
Gary often changes topics too quickly, doesn’t let others go deep, or cuts them off before the connection builds.
Watch this clip. Seth Godin is trying to thoughtfully respond to audience questions, but Gary rushes the process:
He forces the conversation back to surface level. And Seth clearly resents it.
Compare that with great conversationalists who ask open-ended questions, dig deeper, and hold space for real discussion.
Rapport or Honesty?
Some say, “I’m just being honest”—but often, that’s an excuse for being blunt or socially unaware.
True EQ is expressing your truth in a way that deepens connection—not in a way that hurts, postures, or shuts others down.
There’s enough overlap between honesty and rapport that you can absolutely have both.
Gary Vaynerchuk ADHD
Does Gary Vaynerchuk have ADHD?
We can’t say for sure. But his high-speed communication style—frequent interruptions, topic-hopping, impulse responses—resembles common ADHD communication patterns.
It’s not a judgment. But it can explain why deep rapport and listening may be more difficult for him.
Gary Vee’s EQ: Final Thoughts
Gary Vee is great at energizing crowds, commanding attention, and delivering bold messages.
But when it comes to deep one-on-one communication, his patterns often create friction rather than connection. And those patterns—interrupting, disagreeing, redirecting—undermine emotional rapport.
If you want to communicate better, study these examples. Use them to improve how you listen, how you respond, and how you build meaningful connections.
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