What does the body language of an alpha male look like?

If you have that question in mind, this article is for you.

This post will show you exactly what dominant body language looks like, without becoming a caricature or a total asshole.

1. Take Up “Enough” Space

Principle:

⚖️ Dominant men take up space while submissive ones make themselves smaller.

The APA Handbook of Nonverbal Behavior states that body openness and expansiveness in adults are positively related to dominance (J. A. Hall, Coats, & LeBeau, 2005)

As for everything, to maximize your social effectiveness you must use balance and calibration.
📝 Guess where these 3 are most appropriate:

👉🏼 1 and 2 good for bars and getting attention. Too much for work (unless you’re top dog). Reclining with just one arm is a good mix

Sit Comfortably

Principles:

• Knees and feet shoulder-wide or slightly more
• Cross legs with “figure four”
• Stay comfortably upright

🔎 Examples:

1. Shoulders 👍🏼, head could be more upright, legs too feminine
2. Shoulder and head 👍🏼. Legs fit the “hipster/metrosexual vibe” but not masculine
3. Upper body 👍🏼, legs could go down more straight
4. Great for hoods and male friends. Too much for workplaces and can feel try-hard

🔎 Good examples:

1. Upper leg could be more parallel to the floor. But good
2. Great overall, but uncomfortable position. Only keep it briefly, then you can stand up

Stake Your Claim (without overdoing it)

Ie.:

Feels “overdoing it territory”

2. Head Parallel To The Ground

General body language principles:

• Straight head is the perfect mix for most situations 🦅
• Chin jutting forward challenges others
• Chin tucked in with aggressive eye contact/expression readies to fight
• Head hanging low is submissive

A slight chin-up for men is OK.
Strike a good balance:

Eye Contact: Keep The Gaze Up

General principles:

• Keep your gaze straight
• Hold eye contact “appropriately long enough”

And the direction of breaking eye contact is also important.

• Break eye contact to the side or upward
  • Downward is submissive
  • Upward is dominant

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Take: Learn and then chill

Lucio: Gaze “straight up” feels unnatural to me.
I keep a straight head, good posture, and walk with purpose.
I don’t mind a slightly lower-pointing gaze: it’s better to take in the environment.
In safe areas I know, my gaze is out of focus. It sub-communicates confidence and self-sufficiency.

Also powerful:

High-Intensity Gaze When Focusing

See-through people

Similar to the “out of focus” I like:

⛏️ More about the “see-through”

3. Make Yourself Comfortable

General principle:

⚖️ Physical comfort sub-communicates mental comfort.
Including confidence and a sense of control over the environment.

Lock In

Principle:

⚖️ The more uncomfortable they are compared to you, the more power you gain

Some ways to lock in:

• You sit, they stand
• You recline against a bar, they stand
• You sit on the inside of a booth, they’re outside
• You’re on the quieter side of the sidewalk (close to the wall), they’re on the outside
• …

🔎 Yours truly:

4. Adopt Open Body Language

General principle:

• ⚖️ Close body language sub-communicates fear, defensiveness, and discomfort.
• ⚖️ Open body language sub-communicates confidence, and comfort.

Many examples online for closed VS open poses.
Besides the basics:

• Touching the tie
• Checking the time
• … Any “excuse” to cover your body

⚠️ Defensive body language can become permanent over time.
If this is you, fix:

• Scrunched posture
• Hunched head
• Rounded shoulders

👉🏼 See Power University for the group analysis

5. Move Purposefully, Quit “Self-Soothing”

We can cluster body language signals in:

• Signs of comfort VS
• Signs of discomfort” (AKA “displacement signals”)

Comfort is associated with confidence, social confidence, and control over the environment.
Discomfort, is the opposite.

How do people signal discomfort?
It often comes down to touching and self-covering.
While studies show that touching others is more dominant, touching the self signals low confidence.

Therefore, minimize “self-soothing” and “displacement signals” such as:

• Touching yourself
  • Face or back of the neck
  • Scratching itches
  • Wringing hands
• Playing with jewelry
• Opening up the collar of a shirt
• Rocking on your toes
• …

6. Adopt Good Posture

Albeit good postures is not a must for alpha males, it’s still important.

And, generally speaking, high-quality men have better posture.

Common posture issues:

1. rounded shoulders
2. head leaning in
3. hunched back posture

Careful with:
⚠️ Over-compensating poor posture
⚠️ Over-doing good posture when everyone is chill or spreading out
🔎 Example: Bieber seemed unnaturally straight, sticking out like a sore thumb

⛏️ Posture & posture exercises (PU alumni only)

7. Walk High Power

Quick tips:

• Shoulder sway is masculine (similar to Bond’s video above)
• Gap between legs. Don’t overdo, but don’t press them together either

See PU for more.

Parallel Feet or “Outward Pointing”

“Outward” is masculine, parallel is more refined.

Bad joints, crass behavior, but masculine

Look Ahead If Fast, “Take In Environment” If Slow

High-power slow is:

• 🧠 I own my time, don’t have to hurry for anybody
• Slight smile for “happy with the world and who I am” vibe
• Eyelids lower to sub-communicate “contentedness and comfort” 🔎 Example

High power fast is:

• 🧠 I’m on a mission (get out of my way)
• Look straight ahead

🔎 Daniel Craig in Specter:

Tips

1. Walk on a high-power song that makes you feel a boss. Learn the movements, then replicate them without song. 🙋🏼‍♂️ My go-to song was “I wanna be your slave” by Manneskin
2. Image yourself James Bond style, gun holstered inside your jacket.

Or think of swords sticking out straight, on a straight back to help your posture:

8. Stand Still: Let Others Orbit Around You

General principle:

⚖️ Alpha males don’t move for others because others move for them

Castiglione calls it “Sprezzatura”, and it’s basic Social ROI, true for assigning tasks and having people execute.
But also for how bodies move during normal socialization, and for the sub-communication of power via “stillness” of movement.

It’s explained by the Social ROI matrix:

The king/alpha male gets high returns, with less effort

And it’s why on this website we caution against the “high energy approach” championed by many social skills coaches.
High energy can work, in the right environments.
But it’s easy to overdo it and become the low-status jester.

In Power University we also teach how to be high-energy and high power.

9. Let Others Come to You

Alpha males do not actively seek attention.

Or, at least, they do not seem like they are -alpha males can be Machiavellian, of course-.

Actively seeking attention is more feminine and “BPD-like“.

However, alpha males get attention as a consequence of being the highest-status men in the group.

That attention, in turn, sub-communicates power and “top dog status”.
It goes back to the fundamental laws of power.
Having people around you communicates they need you and want you.
They want to talk to you, be around you, get your opinion, your approval, f*ck you, or be seen with you.

Notice how Trump, a man focused on being the most powerful and dominant man in the room leverages this principle:

10. Bonus: Use Nonverbals

Less expressive men can also be dominant.

But nonverbals are high-power because they are low-investment.
Such as, it’s high power to communicate whole sentences without a word. Or to make others crack under pressure without saying anything.

And research shows that emotional expressivity is attractive in dating.

Facial Expressions

A calibrated balance is often the most effective.

For example, no smiles are cold and broad smiles communicate warmth. But slight smiles are higher power (Wang, Mao, Li, & Liu, 2017) while still communicating enough warmth:

🔎 Crazy Stupid Love

Her: That would not work on me
Him: (Stares at her with slight smile 😏) <— 📣🟰 “It sure will”

♟️ Perfect dating move
No words could top that. “Of course that would work on you” would make her deny, and arguments are very unseductive.
⛏️🔴 He fails with “it’s obvious that you like me”

🔎 Disappointed:

Sub-communication📣🟰 “I’m disappointed, and you deserve no words”. Pressures others into explaining without a single word

⚠️ Careful because facial expressions can be feminine or passive-aggressive.
In PU we explain the difference.

🎓 The “Inquisitive Look“

🔎 from an ex-girlfriend during early dating:

Me: What about Enrico
Her: (looking tense) Enrico, what do you mean
Me: Enrico, don’t you remember?
Her: (getting worried) No…. Did I say Enrico in my sleep? <— ⚠️ This can frame me as jealous (and lower-value mate guarding. Not good)
Me: … <— 👉🏼 I ignore and stay silent to sub-communicate I’m NOT worried
Her: (growingly worried) OMG, I don’t know if I said it in my sleep, I have no idea who is Enrico
Me: (sideways glance, pursed lips, slightly corrugated eyebrows) <— this is the inquisitive look
Her: … I’m sorry, I don’t know, I really have no idea how Enrico is, really Luc…
Me: Enrico is the name of the breakfast we had last time
Her: Ooooh ahaha true, OMG I was thinking I said it while sleeping, I’m sorry! Ahaha yes I would love an Enrico ahah <— 👉🏼 Excited and exaggerated laughter as tension release

This exchange sub-communicated (and expanded) this: “I’m very into you and I’m afraid of doing anything that may jeopardize us”.

Use pauses and facial expressions for a similar effect: high power and “cool”, without any attack.

Hand Gestures

🔎 Example:

Judy: (spins her hand to say “go ahead”)
Guy: (speaks)

👉🏼 Use hand gestures for self-defense.
For example, raise your hand and speak louder to subcommunicate you’re not to be interrupted.

Hand-Tapping

To sub-communicate patience running out, or demand faster action.

🔎 Confrontational, from The View.
Less confrontational but more powerful from Bush:

Bush: People understand that (slams his hand on the table) the House of Representatives needs to pass (…)

Tapping on their body can also be more benign “affectionate dominance”.
Imagine your woman beats around the bush, and you want to get going.
You can tap on her side as if to say “Come on baby, wrap it up”.

🛡️Hand-Tapping Self-Defense
Keep talking, raise your hand or touch their arm and look at them, as if to say “One moment”.
If it’s your boss raise your hand as if to say “Sorry, got ya”, nod, and add a smile.
If you were wasting time, cut to the chase in any case.

Calibrate!

General principles:

1. Mind your rank
   • Lower rank: allow superiors to be more dominant as a beginner
   • Higher rank: march your rank with body language
2. Mind people’s property & space
3. Be more subtle in high-society
4. High-power, without being a d*ck. Keep an appropriate balance for your goal, don’t make enemies:

Calibrate to culture and environment

Touching oneslf and others is also cultural and environment-dependent.

For example, Allan Pease in The Definitive Book of Body Language compares Italian and English cultures.
People in Rome touch each other hundreds of times. But in the UK barely touched each other at all.
So, never forget: adapt.

Learn More

Also, read:

• Archetypes of high-status men
• High-status behavior
• High-status speaking

❗ This is a preview from Power University ❗