How to be more feminine?
I’m glad you are looking for that. I congratulate you.
This world needs more women who know how to be feminine.
By the end of this article, you will know the exact moves, body language and expressions that make women more feminine.
- How to Be More Feminine
- 11. Submissiveness
- How Not to Be Feminine
- Femininity: Does it Bother You?
How to Be More Feminine
Why would you want to be more feminine?
Well, if embracing your gender is not a good motivation for you, maybe dating results are.
When you learn how to be more feminine you will gain a huge competitive advantage on the dating marketplace.
And you will be more charming, which results in more social power as well.
And since so few women are feminine these days, you will immediately stand out.
So let’s start:
#1. Eradicate Masculinity
The first step to be more feminine is to avoid masculine expressions.
Have you noticed most men make make a point of avoiding pink and doing anything effeminate? You should probably start thinking about the same approach.
One evening I cajoled one of the most feminine woman I’ve ever dated to play football table with me. She was very reluctant though because, later I understood, she didn’t want to play typically male games.
When I high-fived her across the table –a typical man behavior– she drew the line and with a touch of baby talk and pouting face told me:
Her: “don’t high five me, I’m not a guy”.
There she was.
In a country where 95% of women pretend there are no differences between genders, she’s a real woman.
A rare gem.
I respected her more after that, treated her more like a woman and even liked her more.
That girl made a point of being feminine by outright refusing male behavior.
If you are interested in how to be feminine –very feminine- I recommend you take the same approach.
And actively remind men that “you are not one of the guys”.
Let’s see now more masculine traits to eliminate so that you can troubleshoot yourself:
Refuse Unfeminine Behavior
One could write a book about what are typical mannish behavior, but here are some cues:
Refuse high-fives. Delicately put a hand on his arm instead so he doesn’t feel rejected.
- “Bro hugs”
About the latter, keep in mind also that little distance is very high class.
If you need to be close to someone, put your body close to them instead (Marilyn video below, very arousing for men) or go arm in arm.
Purge Unfeminine Body Language
We could write a book about masculine body language, but here are some examples:
- Akimbo pose (unless it’s sexy akimbo)
- Walking with spread legs
- Arms far from their body
- Leaning against objects
- Jutting chin forward (an aggressive indicator)
This video exaggerates everything about how a woman should not move. Stay away from anything that looks even mildly similar:
The braggart entrance, the swaying of arms, the bounce of the feet… That’s how men move (and not even the well-refined ones).
Avoid Aggressive Competition
Competition is a male trait.
And of course, if you are reading here you want to go places and you must compete.
However, to be feminine, you must compete without looking overly aggressive, overly ambitious or too overpowering.
Not easy, I know.
Nobody said being feminine is easy.
Also, avoid competing with the men you are dating. Trying to be better than the partner is typical low-quality male behavior, so it’s a huge no-no.
That’s not your role, let him compete with the other boys.
The only competitions allowed are:
- Competing to win you over
- In bed as a sexual game
Remove Unfeminine Clothing
Avoid neutral clothing as well. It’s popular among hipsters these days to wear shapeless body bags: please stay away. They’re the death knell of anything feminine.
Here’s a simple litmus test:
- Would a stereotypical lesbian wear it? If yes, don’t
And now let’s start with the proper traits of femininity:
Vulnerability is key because, once you get it correctly, then you can be as courageous, go-getter and strong WITHOUT being mannish.
The answer is in the difference of how men and women display courage and boldness.
Men do it as a display of strength, with stress on display. And they do while hiding their emotions and fear.
Chicken games, pep talks to rally the troops and defiance for defiance’s sake are typically male.
Instead, the feminine way of courage is to admit fear and showing up anyway, humbly and without bombast.
Here’s a really really good example:
She’s honest about her feelings and has the courage to show up. Notice the unassuming way she opens the door, too.
Also notice the different reactions. The guy defends his ego with bragging and boasting:
“I’ll go ahead and close some more women like I usually do”.
When the moderator tells her “she’ll find someone” she doesn’t flaunt her options and vulnerably replies:
Finally, notice that in all her humbleness and vulnerability, she puts the bragging guy to shame.
As we’ve seen from the above man’s reaction, men’s nature is braggart.
That’s where the term “peacocking” and “cocky” comes from. It’s about showing off.
But femininity is often the opposite of mannishness. And that’s why while humbleness is good for everyone, it’s particularly good to appear feminine:
Notice how unassuming Marilyn is when she says “I hope it will be a good picture”. Impossible not to like her.
A touch of coyness and self-consciousness, a well-placed insecurity… All very feminine.
Notice how Angelina Jolie plays it coy by turning her face away. Super attractive to men.
5. Flowing Movements
Nothing says feminine like flowing, smooth movements. Dance and yoga classes can be very useful here.
Here’s an example from Margarita Levieva:
Notice the way she sits in the chair. She doesn’t pull the chair up, she uses it as an occasion to put her body on display instead. Perfect.
6. Feminine Walk
Body language research says that women who want to appear more appealing sway their hips more.
Indeed there are two major traits of a feminine walk:
- Hip swaying
- Small strides
Marilyn Monroe uses both at the same time here:
Also notice how she has a bit of a “jump” in her steps, visible in her fur movements.
And that’s exactly how my ex from the first example walked, and I could never resist from sneaking up from behind and (jokingly) spank that sexy swaying ass.
The wider the angle at which you sway, the more “sex” it will scream.
Unless you are doing it on purpose to dare a man to rail you hard, avoid being the lady who screams sex too obviously as that is low quality.
Here is a good example of being sexy in a feminine way without looking like a whore:
The secret is that you have to look like it’s just natural to you and you are not trying to draw attention (like the preivious example was).
7. Purring Voice
Notice in the flowing movements video (N.5) how Levieva’s purrs on the words “late”, “ever” and “forgive”.
It’s barely about what she says, all about the feminine purr.
8. Feminine Body Language
When you make feminine body language part of your repertoire you’ll always be seductive. Even when you don’t want to seduce.
Here’s an example:
Some feminine body language:
- Head tilt (video above)
- Sway back (video above)
- Neck show (video above)
- Glancing over raised shoulder
- Neck touching
- Leg twine
9. Simpering Moves
Using fewer words and more body language is a major sign of high social understanding (and sometimes dominance).
I have noticed that some of the most feminine women engage in what reminds me of a cat-like behavior.
Here’s a perfect example (click, it’s a video):
Notice that instead of repeating herself she leans in and prods him with her head -similarly to how a cat or feline would do-.
Powerful AND feminine at the same time.
10. Feminine Hobbies
Your environment shapes you and encourages you (or discourages you) to find and act along with your femininity.
A female executive at Lockeed Martin (an arms’ producer) or at Jeep (a typical male car) will have more difficulties embracing her femininity than a woman owning a hair salon or a nail shop.
The latter will be around more women, more feminine women, and is immersed in an environment that screams femininity.
The former will have to play down her feminine side, play up her masculine side, and is immersed in a stereotypical male environment.
Just a few of the many feminine hobbies and professions to consider:
- Painting / drawing
When it comes to being more feminine the “little girl looking for protection” takes the most flack (see below).
But a hint of insecurity, admitting your shortcomings and letting him lead are very feminine traits.
If you’re not comfortable with this one, think of it this way: don’t do the heavy lifting when you can let a man do it.
Notice Marilyn Monroe resting her head against him. As if to communicate he’s the leader of her world.
You don’t need to make yourself a full subordinate, but it’s the little details that make the difference:
Some women will recoil at the word “submissiveness”. The word has indeed taken some terrible connotation.
I use it in the more sexual expression here.
Submissiveness is a matter of choice. It’s not about being submissive to everyone.
It’s about choosing who to be submissive to (and feel free to be assertive with everyone else).
Read more on:
How Not to Be Feminine
As much as there are low quality expressions of mannishness, there are also low quality expressions of femininity.
And much as it’s true for men when too much manliness becomes a drawback, extreme expressions of femininity can also become a drawback.
Here are some examples:
- Over the top emotions
- Shrill expressions of excitement
- Too early, too deep emotional attachment
- Too much make up / skimpy clothes / surgeries
- Lopsidedly demands (that he pays he pays and invests for example, read: how to use mutual investment)
- Too childish / too baby-like behavior:
Femininity: Does it Bother You?
Femininity as a topic annoys some women who lash out in anger –example on Quora-.
Part of the push-back against femininity is cultural. Feminism possibly went too far and it’s not helping women anymore.
Part of it runs deeper and it’s a consequence of the growing female participation in the workforce dominated by male culture.
Women are caught in the middle of having to fend for themselves and play by the male rules while still trying to be feminine.
The last bit that you must absolutely purge yourself of though is fear, jealousy, and bitterness:
Mindset: Drop Resentment
Some women are jealous and resentful towards feminine women.
The fact that someone could point at another woman and think “see? She’s more feminine than you” hurts them and anger is a defensive reaction.
Some of these women are sometimes smart, career women who had to adapt to male-dominated organizations by dropping more typical feminine traits and acquiring more masculine ones.
And after they’ve done so much to prove their worth, the idea that their male colleagues might want to date a woman who plays girly in need of help maddens them.
I can understand it, but if it’s you, you gotta change it.
It communicates insecurity and spite and it hurts yourself first and foremost.
Part of the animosity towards femininity also stems out of a misconception.
The misconception is that femininity means dumbing yourself down, becoming less independent or becoming weaker. Let’s be clear here: some men will prefer a weaker woman.
But you’re not becoming more feminine to end up with one of those guys, of course :).
The general rule is that femininity, intelligence, success and power are NOT antithetic.
And we could argue that women who master femininity are actually better able to get what they want, which is a definition of power.
Just watch the examples above and ask yourself if any of those women is “weak” or “dumb”.
I see very few women around who can get femininity right.
And the number seems to be dropping further and further. And that’s great news for you. It’s a huge opportunity to stand out and make yourself a super high class woman.
I omitted in this article the typical stuff you can find in every other article. Things such as hygiene, fashion, makeup, long hair etc. It’s not that those don’t matter, they do: they’re the basics. But they’re also obvious. And you can read them everywhere else.
- How to seduce a man (3 types of seductresses breakdown)
- How to make him obsessed about you (tricks and power moves from the most addictive women)
- Low quality women
- High quality women
- Alpha females
- 2 unfeminine fashion styles to avoid
- Dating literature overview (my product summarizing the whole women’s dating literature)