How Power-Intelligence Helped You in Life (Concrete Examples)
Great stuff Ali, thank you for sharing!
Lots of well-applied, solid principles that most certainly helped -or possibly even made the difference- in getting those refunds while also preserving the relationship.
Edit:
If you want to have specific feedback or discuss some of those power moves / replies, feel free to open a new thread.
How Smart Strategies, Persuasion & Frames Save Me $$$ In The Thousands (+ Reputation)
PayPal is generally skewed towards buyers.
Such as, the "buyer protection" beats the "seller protection" -and, in my opinion, it makes sense-.
It's both my experience and a generally accepted notion.
This first result on Google:
I can't recall a single time I opened a dispute as a buyer and didn't win it.
The last one was for a plane ticket with Lufthansa.
It was a ticket that didn't provide refunds -or I wouldn't have needed PayPal of course- and albeit by law Lufthansa was right and a refund was a non-starter, PayPal also resolved that one in my favor (why I did it is another story):
Despite PayPal "favoring" buyers, The Power Moves has won a whopping 13 out of 14 claims against it.
This is the PDF report of the 14 claims:
And this is the column on claims' results:
How We Win 92%+ of PayPal Disputes
The first 2 rules are super simple:
- Play it straight, honor the guarantee, and refund anything that's fair to refund
- Fight only what's fraudulent, manipulative, or asshole-type behavior
As we've seen though that's not enough.
The Lufthansa ticket example shows that having the contract on your side is not enough.
Plus, the fact that TPM also fights cases that are by nature manipulative but sometimes "technically in the right" should increase the number of lost cases.
But that is not the case.
It's not the case because of the third point, that requires the approaches, strategies, skills and techniques we teach here:
- Leverage strategies, frames and self-frames (positive for you and negative for the claimant), psychology-backed persuasion, and Machiavellianism
The approach of TPM with PayPal mirrors the value and approach of TPM as a website:
Play it straight, be a high-quality individual (an eagle), aim, play, and frame for it win-win... But don't be naive.
And learn how to play the win-lose asshole game better than any other asshole.
And when done well, it yields great results.
Besides the money, this approach also accrues reputation to increase the likelihood of future victory.
With any new claim PayPal looks back at the history and back-rationalizes:
He has very few claims, of the few he has most of them he either agrees with the buyers or refunds (sometimes self-initiates refunds, too), and whenever he's had any escalation, he's won most of them. This is a top-notch business / person
The same approach I use with Stripe, where credit card chargebacks are even tougher to fight (so the win ration is a bit lower but still very high).
Edit:
I might have done a big confusion here :).
"Seller protection" doesn't mean "won". The point is still the same and stands though: TPM wins the vast majority of disputes.
This one wasn't really an example of a strategy but it did make a positive change in my life so I thought I would share.
I recently decided to cut a friend out of my life because with my knowledge of PD it became obvious that he was becoming a frenemy.
This guy is rich accomplished very plausible and a highly skilled manipulator. Unfortunately despite all his points of obvious value he's also a wet blanket OCD about pushing his views and borderline abusive - can dish it out but can't take it.
Without the material and study and reflection I have done here I would have thought that I was the problem.
was quite a close friend but since I've made the decision I've hardly thought of him and I have more mental peace so it was the right one.
Nice going, Kevin!
Especially given the situation.
It's always difficult to cut out someone from our life.
And, as a rule of thumb: the closer they are and the higher value they are, the easier it is to miss and dismiss the red flags, and the more difficult it is to cut them off.
As my mrs says - this year "Je suis une vache a lait" (cash cow) so more from the world of work.......delicate conversation with my boss when he wanted to meddle in my project. Context is he used to run this project and he's concerned about keeping the Vendor onside whereas the business want to drive a hard bargain with the vendor. I did better than I used to in these small 'critical moments'. As always if anyone has some better words all ears 🙂
10:46 am] Transitioned
Master Services Agreement is going to need a bit of work both to make Natalyia (lawyer) comfortable and be effective
[10:47 am] Transitioned
On it
[10:47 am] Transitioned
TEX(vendor) have included specifics on the SOWs in there. Which is strange for an umbrella agreement.
[10:48 am] Program Manager
Does this take us towards 2 x MSA, not 1
[10:48 am] Transitioned
Yes
[10:48 am] Program Manager
?
[10:48 am] Transitioned
Or TEX pull out the Statement of Work (SOW) specifics
[10:49 am] Transitioned
But I don't think that's Barry's way
[10:49 am] Program Manager
I'm not entirely comfortable with that. Can you set up a chat with you, me and Natalia?
[10:49 am] Transitioned
Is it something I can handle for you?
[10:51 am] Program Manager
Yes, but please keep me up to date. I don't want a wedge/blocker in the MSA vs progress on design and estimation from Rex.
[10:51 am] Transitioned
Agreed
[10:52 am] Program Manager
Thanks mate.. let me know how you go.
[10:52 am] Transitioned
Its my complete focus today
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[10:52 am] Transitioned
I think we should get their sow first before we muddy the waters going back on MSA
[10:53 am] Transitioned
Barry does seem to get a bit triggered by commercials
[10:54 am] Program Manager
The food MSA experience sounded painful. 9 months for an MSA. So I have some sympathy for his twitchiness.
[10:56 am] Transitioned
Agreed My point was more lets try and get some momentum on the doing part of the conversation as well as the legal agreements
like 1
A quick drop that could've gone in my journal, but felt more appropriate going here with all of the credit going to Lucio and the TPM community.
#1. TCC Got Its First Sale!
Of course, my material wouldn't be nearly as valuable if it weren't for the growth I've done from TPM.
With the insights that I've gained from Lucio's work, I've been able to translate that value into to more value for my readers and audiences.
I might print out the confirmation of our first sale and put it on my wall:
After getting this surprise in my inbox, the motivation I felt to improve all of my content and continue forward with TCC's growth was immense and special.
#2. Became a sales team rising star
Rather than networking coaching, a company wanted me to actually network (and sell) on behalf of their company.
So, we signed a contract and, so far, what I've noticed is:
- My "boss" says I'm more advanced than the rest of the team (aside from one other person who's been in the company for over a year)
- He's accepting much of my feedback on how the company could improve
- He promoted me to Head of Team Engagement where I'll also apply my networking/relationship-building skills to bringing the team closer together
- He sent me a message today that he'd also like me to take another leadership position spearheading the growth of the company's online community
#3. Joined a value-giving community of fellow learners
If you've been following me for a while, you know that I buy courses quite often and review them whenever it seems worth it.
Well, I've found a community of many others who do the same. (Minus the full reviewing, they share their thoughts and feedback via the community's Discord.)
That means that I have access to many more courses right now including:
- Todd's Verbal Academy: though, I'd prefer to go through SU before getting into it
- Chase Hughes' One Year Mastery: a $16,000 program on dark psychology (albeit the course instructor calls it "extreme behavioral persuasion"), I'm looking forward to seeing if there are any gems that could make one into a better communicator, persuader, and leader.
- And more...: stay tuned :).
#4. Implemented self-hypnosis successfully
After thoroughly studying mindsets (much of which I learned from Ultimate Power), I already knew what I wanted to believe and internalize. At least, I knew that consciously.
Unfortunately, my subconscious mind was a little slower on the uptake
So, I crafted and recorded a self-hypnosis script to align my subconscious mind with beliefs of mental empowerment.
And, it worked.
The results are astounding (almost scarily so), and I'm happy to share the script soon as well as the ideas behind it (and even some of the downsides I noticed early on and since adjusted for more benefits).
#5. Reached a new height in my social power
Upon meeting new people, lately, I've been getting some compliments such as:
- "I'll buy your book, but only if you voice the audiobook for it!"
- "Where did you study? You sound better than some people who've graduated IV league schools."
- "Does your book have an audio version? I can see myself listening to your voice on my way home from work."
Before, people would say things like, "Wow, you're so articulate," or, "You speak so well."
But, I thought they were really saying, "You speak well for a black person."
Now, it seems different. These compliments feel more genuine and seem to go past the color of my skin.
And, maybe the best part: many of these compliments are also coming from high-power entrepreneurs, executives, and CEOs.
Credit to both Lucio, TPM, and Roger Love's The Perfect Voice for this one.
#6. Got my favorite LinkedIn connection back
Ever make the objectively right decision and still feel like it was the wrong one?
That was how I felt when I went overly assertive with my favorite LinkedIn connection back in May of last year (we'll call her "L").
I did it on purpose to test my antifragile ego and my willingness to be OK with losing her.
But, at that time, it hurt me more than it helped.
And, I spent a few weeks feeling like it was a stupid decision while, at the same time, feeling like it was one of the best gifts I could've ever given to my growth because it was one of the hardest things for me to do.
Lucio recommended I send her an apology. I did. She rejected it.
Now, upon writing the new official TPM book, The Social Strategist, I used that experience as an example of what not to do.
Around that time of writing, I also thought to myself that it might make for an even better story if I could share that I also got her back using effective, win-win social strategy.
So, I implemented my own networking strategy to connect with her best friend of over 10 years (we'll call her "J") who also works with her in her company.
Then:
- Persuaded J to get on a Zoom call with me
- Persuaded J to convince L to open up communications to me
- Persuaded L to rejoin my network
So, now, not only are L and I back to being contacts in each others' networks and good friends again, L mentioned that J was excited to talk about me. So much so, that L was also happy to talk to me again.
Now, that's a result you could only get from some good PU training :).
This morning, I accepted an invitation to work with the United Nations to advance an initiative that helps more people — because of L.
Looking forward to sharing more details in the forum (maybe my journal as well as a few other threads).
BOOM!
Wouldn't even know what to quote on this for further comments :).
Just a few random ones:
Quote from Ali Scarlett on May 11, 2022, 11:55 pm#1. TCC Got Its First Sale!
Congratulations Ali!
Nothing like the first sale :).
Enjoy that one, book your favorite meal today, get a good wine with it if you drink, and savor it.
Quote from Ali Scarlett on May 11, 2022, 11:55 pm#4. Implemented self-hypnosis successfully
After thoroughly studying mindsets (much of which I learned from Ultimate Power), I already knew what I wanted to believe and internalize. At least, I knew that consciously.
Unfortunately, my subconscious mind was a little slower on the uptake
So, I crafted and recorded a self-hypnosis script to align my subconscious mind with beliefs of mental empowerment.
And, it worked.
The results are astounding (almost scarily so), and I'm happy to share the script soon as well as the ideas behind it (and even some of the downsides I noticed early on and since adjusted for more benefits).
Curious and excited to read more about this!
Quote from Ali Scarlett on May 11, 2022, 11:55 pm#5. Reached a new height in my social power
Upon meeting new people, lately, I've been getting some compliments such as:
- "I'll buy your book, but only if you voice the audiobook for it!"
- "Where did you study? You sound better than some people who've graduated IV league schools."
- "Does your book have an audio version? I can see myself listening to your voice on my way home from work."
Awesome stuff.
And about the audiobook, well... You know as they say: the ability to do anything value-adding at a very high level (almost) compels you to do it :).
Quote from Ali Scarlett on May 11, 2022, 11:55 pm#6. Got my favorite LinkedIn connection back
Ever make the objectively right decision and still feel like it was the wrong one?
That was how I felt when I went overly assertive with my favorite LinkedIn connection back in May of last year (we'll call her "L").
I did it on purpose to test my antifragile ego and my willingness to be OK with losing her.
But, at that time, it hurt me more than it helped.
And, I spent a few weeks feeling like it was a stupid decision while, at the same time, feeling like it was one of the best gifts I could've ever given to my growth because it was one of the hardest things for me to do.
Lucio recommended I send her an apology. I did. She rejected it.
Now, upon writing the new official TPM book, The Social Strategist, I used that experience as an example of what not to do.
Around that time of writing, I also thought to myself that it might make for an even better story if I could share that I also got her back using effective, win-win social strategy.
So, I implemented my own networking strategy to connect with her best friend of over 10 years (we'll call her "J") who also works with her in her company.
Then:
- Persuaded J to get on a Zoom call with me
- Persuaded J to convince L to open up communications to me
- Persuaded L to rejoin my network
So, now, not only are L and I back to being contacts in each others' networks and good friends again, L mentioned that J was excited to talk about me. So much so, that L was also happy to talk to me again.
Now, that's a result you could only get from some good PU training :).
This morning, I accepted an invitation to work with the United Nations to advance an initiative that helps more people — because of L.
Looking forward to sharing more details in the forum (maybe my journal as well as a few other threads).
BOOM!
Awesome story!
We may also amend The Social Strategist now with this great update.
Tiny one:
Sometimes you chat somebody (often higher up) to see if say Tuesday is OK to meet. Then they power move you with 'My calendar is up to date'. Which is a bit of slap - no reason an outlook calendar would not be up to date.
My analysis is you're trying to be more personal and they're keeping you at arms length. So I pre-empted that today:
Me: "Ok, what's your availability like for Monday Clair? I'll check the calendar, but happy to get an idea first." The great queen of the business actually said yes book me. I was honoured 😉
I had a conversation with my business analyst yesterday on a project. We had a minor crisis when a vendor completely botched a demo to the business. I took the lead at the end of the botched demo and told the vendor that we would be providing detailed requirements on what we wanted to see in the next demo, they tried to argue back and keep going with the hard sell for their product but I gently and firmly shut them down My BA is a mate of mine I personally recommended into the gig and he is very good. But he wanted to jump into doing. I said to him there were other team representatives present so first we should reach out to the manager and see if she wants any help doing damage control to stop gossip. And I need to message my boss a quick fyi that we had a bump on the runway and I'm managing it. With the relationship with the business protected and that air cover then we could get into the doing.
Before my TPM study I didn't have that laser focus on other people and the WIIFMs. I did a bit but it was patchy.
Rock on Kevin!
It's the small daily things that often have the biggest impact over the long haul.