Please or Register to create posts and topics.

What I'm Doing, (Maybe Where ๐Ÿ™‚ & Why

Or, or... Better yet.

Since spending a lot of time reviewing average products is a waste of time and life, you can also make a short snippet-like review with a rating, mention whether or not it's worth the price in your opinion, and we'll use it for the reviews page (and mark it as "Ali's review", or however you prefer to sign yourself).

Transitioned has reacted to this post.
Transitioned
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Awesome idea, Lucio! I think that's a great compromise.

I like to do extensive reviews that help people walk away with value as if they took the course themself.

So, another concern I had was whether or not it would be worth or even capable of a full review since Instant Network is so short:

That's the entire course.

It's only six lessons long, each one containing only one video that's an hour or less. (That's so far, the final three haven't opened up yet.)

The social skills course, "How to Talk To Anybody" (HTTA), seems pretty good information-wise. And, I haven't gotten into the third one yet.

So, right now, I'm thinking about doing a full review on HTTA since there's some value inside there that the TPM community might enjoy. And, a shorter review on Instant Network to be fair.

We can decide about the third one together when I take a look.

What do you think of that idea, Lucio?

P.S. This would all be when I've finished all of the courses so I can make a more well-rounded review.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

Yeah, these would be criteria to meet for a bigger review:

  • Topic relevant to TPM: so in the networking strategies, the social skills, the dating / seduction content, the leadership stuff. Entrepreneurship or product launches might be too off-topic for a standalone review, but still great for the shorter "review" entry
  • High quality: does the course deserve a review? To deserve one, it must be a good course / book / coaching / whatever. If not high quality, then the smaller review snippet will do as a warning for potential buyers
Transitioned and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Transitionedselffriend
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Hi Ali, thank you a lot for sharing! Very detailed and I learned a lot.

May I ask you how did DMR changed your life?

I am asking this because I am trying to build better mindsets by myself right now.

Ali Scarlett has reacted to this post.
Ali Scarlett

Selffriend, I just spent a good 15 or so minutes typing a detailed response for you. And, when I hit send, the forum rejected it.

Apparently, the response took me so long I was logged out of the forum automatically. Hehe, my fault for being a slow typer and for not copying it before hitting "send" just in case.

Don't worry, I'm going to type up a response for you tomorrow. And, I'll make it even better than what I wrote before :).

selffriend has reacted to this post.
selffriend
Quote from Ali Scarlett on April 5, 2021, 3:00 am

Selffriend, I just spent a good 15 or so minutes typing a detailed response for you. And, when I hit send, the forum rejected it.

Apparently, the response took me so long I was logged out of the forum automatically. Hehe, my fault for being a slow typer and for not copying it before hitting "send" just in case.

Don't worry, I'm going to type up a response for you tomorrow. And, I'll make it even better than what I wrote before :).

Hi Ali, I am so sorry to hear that. I also feel so privileged to be in this fantastic community with great people like you.

Please take you time as personal development is a long, long journey. I can wait for you for any number of days.

Hi @ratdodo, thanks for saying that, but I do my best to keep my word. I got you :).

How My Daily Mindset Routine (DMR) Has Changed My Life

Context

I've always admired Lucio's article, "The 10 Traits of High-Value Men (W/ Examples)".

Being someone who was alone and lonely for a long time, I always wanted to be high-value so I could be more socially attractive to the people I wanted in my life. When I read Lucio's article for the first time, I felt like I could actually measure how far along I was on that journey to becoming high-value.

I decided I could simply go through each trait and develop them one at a time until I had achieved them all. The only question became the "how" of how exactly I would measure when I had fully developed a trait so I could check it off of my list of goals.

Some traits were easy to measure. Take, for example, the "He Takes Care of Himself" trait. One of those "sub-traits" was exercising. So, I rationalized that I could exercise six days a week to check that sub-trait off of the list. I could stock my fridge with healthy food to "Eat Well" and continue through PU to continue learning and investing in myself. Boom. It would be measured and it would be done.

Others were more difficult to measure. Emotional intelligence? A secure attachment style?

So, for the trickier traits, instead of measuring the development of the traits themselves, I decided to develop the habits that would develop these traits. And, measure the habits' development so I could still track my progress.

Enter, the daily mindset routine (DMR) habit.

1. Better Assertiveness

I figured I'd start with the benefit I've seen that's probably most important to you, Lucius: more social power.

When Lucio updated PU with the assertiveness lesson, I was hooked. I realized I was being more passive and passive-aggressive than I'd like to be. Worse, was the realization that my behavior was low-quality to where, if left unchecked, it could be damaging to my relationships.

So, I made my way to the DESOE framework. I was excited. "Another absolutely underrated, life-changing gem that they don't teach in school," I thought.

When I tried it for the first time, I fumbled. It was difficult trying to make sure I hit every letter in the acronym in order, maintained positive sentence structure throughout my entire response, and projected socially powerful body language, vocal tonality, and so on. It became difficult finding the words to say because the DESOE framework felt so long when it came time to use it.

Well, ever since my DMR, it's been significantly easier. The DESOE framework feels simple, straightforward, and shorter than before. And, that alone has given me numerous more benefits, the main one being freedom.

I feel free to do whatever I want regardless of if it gets a negative reaction. And, if someone has a problem with anything I do, then we can talk about it. If they want to be disrespectful or unfair, I can go assertive. If they're fair and respectful, I get great feedback.

Either way, life is better now with less concern about the judgment of others now that I feel like I can assertively handle that judgment.

2. Persuasive Frame Control

My frame control has improved and I attribute that more to practice and reflection on my social interactions than my DMR.ย The reason I put it here anyway is because of some realizations you may be interested to hear.

I realize that before my DMR, my frame control was good yet riddled with mistakes in my responses. Now, these days, my frame control is quicker, far more persuasive and I have an easier time getting what I want.

An incredible feeling indeed when up against gatekeepers or people with generally more domain authority who have the power to shut down your requests and have every right to do so. Managing to pull off becoming exceptions to their rules makes one feel all the more grateful for PU as well as for one's positive habits.

3. More Antifragile

My self-esteem has improved in a somewhat unorthodox way.

I still get nervous deep down, yet I still manage to do all of the things someone with high-self esteem (who isn't at all nervous) would do. And, that still scores me some social points in situations where others see me believing I'm "confident" and deep down I know I'm still a work in progress.

This has been very beneficial for my networking efforts with celebrities, CEOs, and generally high-status individuals who look at self-esteem as a possible competence trigger.

4. More Emotional Control

I think this is due more to my meditations than anything else, but I no longer feel the desire or urge to dominate someone. The short-term gratification of being more powerful than someone doesn't feel as persuasive as the thought of losing a possible friend or damaging a relationship I care about.

In other words, in difficult situations, I'm able to do a better job at caring less about winning and more about maintaining the relationship.

The crazy part is, I've also managed to do a better job at channeling my anger into a socially powerful response. When I'm being yelled at, for example, I feel all of the emotions of anger. I feel my heart rate speed up as if my body is getting ready to lash out. I feel my chest tighten a bit and my legs tense up as if my body wants to get ready for physical confrontation. But, my head feels focused. Maybe not always calm, but focused. And, all of that anger gets channeled into a response that ends the interaction in a way where I walk away satisfied with having let them know I don't appreciate their behavior.

*Note: As an added side note, I'm glad I still get somewhat angry. I'm not interested in becoming a "Smart Alec" who maintains his cool with an elitist attitude while getting underneath your skin.

5. More Power Strategies

I keep a digital notebook around on me at all times in case I get a great idea. Right now, I'm using a phone app called TickTick.

Ever since my DMR, I've had idea after idea pop into my head about new mindsets and power dynamics strategies. My notes are loaded and every time I read one, I think about posting them all, then get concerned about flooding the forum, and, finally, end up saying to myself, "I'll do it some other time."

Now, I asked good questions before my DMR. I also had some pretty good ideas. But, if you ask me, these ideas aren't just, "Hey guys, what do you think of this?" kinds of ideas. These are, "Man, when the active TPM members read this, they're going to have a field day," kinds of ideas.

6. More...

In addition to the benefits listed above, here are some of the benefits I recorded in my habit development journal:

  • Avoid sleep paralysis
  • Avoid trouble with thinking and concentration
  • Avoid memory issues
  • Reduce feelings of depression and stress
  • Reduce poor decision-making
  • Reduce negative thinking/thoughts
  • Reduce emotional vulnerability
  • Prevent productivity-loss
  • Reduce poor problem-solving
  • Take more control of my days (and my life)
  • Focus each day on my purpose (i.e. my WHY)
  • Prevent motivation-loss

There are a couple of other benefits I left out, such as the mentally freeing feeling of getting your thoughts out onto paper during the mind dump. But, I think you got the gist of it ๐Ÿ™‚

Lucio Buffalmano and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmanoselffriend
Quote from Ali Scarlett on April 5, 2021, 5:12 pm

Hi @ratdodo, thanks for saying that, but I do my best to keep my word. I got you :).

How My Daily Mindset Routine (DMR) Has Changed My Life

Context

I've always admired Lucio's article, "The 10 Traits of High-Value Men (W/ Examples)".

Being someone who was alone and lonely for a long time, I always wanted to be high-value so I could be more socially attractive to the people I wanted in my life. When I read Lucio's article for the first time, I felt like I could actually measure how far along I was on that journey to becoming high-value.

I decided I could simply go through each trait and develop them one at a time until I had achieved them all. The only question became the "how" of how exactly I would measure when I had fully developed a trait so I could check it off of my list of goals.

Some traits were easy to measure. Take, for example, the "He Takes Care of Himself" trait. One of those "sub-traits" was exercising. So, I rationalized that I could exercise six days a week to check that sub-trait off of the list. I could stock my fridge with healthy food to "Eat Well" and continue through PU to continue learning and investing in myself. Boom. It would be measured and it would be done.

Others were more difficult to measure. Emotional intelligence? A secure attachment style?

So, for the trickier traits, instead of measuring the development of the traits themselves, I decided to develop the habits that would develop these traits. And, measure the habits' development so I could still track my progress.

Enter, the daily mindset routine (DMR) habit.

1. Better Assertiveness

I figured I'd start with the benefit I've seen that's probably most important to you, Lucius: more social power.

When Lucio updated PU with the assertiveness lesson, I was hooked. I realized I was being more passive and passive-aggressive than I'd like to be. Worse, was the realization that my behavior was low-quality to where, if left unchecked, it could be damaging to my relationships.

So, I made my way to the DESOE framework. I was excited. "Another absolutely underrated, life-changing gem that they don't teach in school," I thought.

When I tried it for the first time, I fumbled. It was difficult trying to make sure I hit every letter in the acronym in order, maintained positive sentence structure throughout my entire response, and projected socially powerful body language, vocal tonality, and so on. It became difficult finding the words to say because the DESOE framework felt so long when it came time to use it.

Well, ever since my DMR, it's been significantly easier. The DESOE framework feels simple, straightforward, and shorter than before. And, that alone has given me numerous more benefits, the main one being freedom.

I feel free to do whatever I want regardless of if it gets a negative reaction. And, if someone has a problem with anything I do, then we can talk about it. If they want to be disrespectful or unfair, I can go assertive. If they're fair and respectful, I get great feedback.

Either way, life is better now with less concern about the judgment of others now that I feel like I can assertively handle that judgment.

2. Persuasive Frame Control

My frame control has improved and I attribute that more to practice and reflection on my social interactions than my DMR.ย The reason I put it here anyway is because of some realizations you may be interested to hear.

I realize that before my DMR, my frame control was good yet riddled with mistakes in my responses. Now, these days, my frame control is quicker, far more persuasive and I have an easier time getting what I want.

An incredible feeling indeed when up against gatekeepers or people with generally more domain authority who have the power to shut down your requests and have every right to do so. Managing to pull off becoming exceptions to their rules makes one feel all the more grateful for PU as well as for one's positive habits.

3. More Antifragile

My self-esteem has improved in a somewhat unorthodox way.

I still get nervous deep down, yet I still manage to do all of the things someone with high-self esteem (who isn't at all nervous) would do. And, that still scores me some social points in situations where others see me believing I'm "confident" and deep down I know I'm still a work in progress.

This has been very beneficial for my networking efforts with celebrities, CEOs, and generally high-status individuals who look at self-esteem as a possible competence trigger.

4. More Emotional Control

I think this is due more to my meditations than anything else, but I no longer feel the desire or urge to dominate someone. The short-term gratification of being more powerful than someone doesn't feel as persuasive as the thought of losing a possible friend or damaging a relationship I care about.

In other words, in difficult situations, I'm able to do a better job at caring less about winning and more about maintaining the relationship.

The crazy part is, I've also managed to do a better job at channeling my anger into a socially powerful response. When I'm being yelled at, for example, I feel all of the emotions of anger. I feel my heart rate speed up as if my body is getting ready to lash out. I feel my chest tighten a bit and my legs tense up as if my body wants to get ready for physical confrontation. But, my head feels focused. Maybe not always calm, but focused. And, all of that anger gets channeled into a response that ends the interaction in a way where I walk away satisfied with having let them know I don't appreciate their behavior.

*Note: As an added side note, I'm glad I still get somewhat angry. I'm not interested in becoming a "Smart Alec" who maintains his cool with an elitist attitude while getting underneath your skin.

5. More Power Strategies

I keep a digital notebook around on me at all times in case I get a great idea. Right now, I'm using a phone app called TickTick.

Ever since my DMR, I've had idea after idea pop into my head about new mindsets and power dynamics strategies. My notes are loaded and every time I read one, I think about posting them all, then get concerned about flooding the forum, and, finally, end up saying to myself, "I'll do it some other time."

Now, I asked good questions before my DMR. I also had some pretty good ideas. But, if you ask me, these ideas aren't just, "Hey guys, what do you think of this?" kinds of ideas. These are, "Man, when the active TPM members read this, they're going to have a field day," kinds of ideas.

6. More...

In addition to the benefits listed above, here are some of the benefits I recorded in my habit development journal:

  • Avoid sleep paralysis
  • Avoid trouble with thinking and concentration
  • Avoid memory issues
  • Reduce feelings of depression and stress
  • Reduce poor decision-making
  • Reduce negative thinking/thoughts
  • Reduce emotional vulnerability
  • Prevent productivity-loss
  • Reduce poor problem-solving
  • Take more control of my days (and my life)
  • Focus each day on my purpose (i.e. my WHY)
  • Prevent motivation-loss

There are a couple of other benefits I left out, such as the mentally freeing feeling of getting your thoughts out onto paper during the mind dump. But, I think you got the gist of it ๐Ÿ™‚

Boom! Well done! Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Ali. Now I cannot wait to learn more about DMR methods. How can I get started?

I feel what you felt: my button has been easily pushed by others (section 4); I find assertiveness and frame control are easy to learn, but hard to put in actual practice.

For example, if I am texting or emailing, taking five minutes to think, then I kind of know how to be assertive or hold the frame. But in real life, this is what happening:

HB (a new girl met at a party come sit beside me): Oh, you really want to sit beside me. (playful tone)

Me: I have been staying here for a while.

My response was defending and justifying, not a high-value man would do, I think. Moreover, I am taking her words serious. If I think for a while, I might come-up with something like a bad-boy:

HB: Oh, you really want to sit beside me (playful tone)

Me: Nah, I don't want to sit beside you. I want to sit on you.

Quote from selffriend on April 5, 2021, 8:17 pm

How can I get started?

My updated DMR is:

  • 20 minutes of self-awareness silence meditation/mindfulness meditation
  • 10 minutes of journaling ("mind dump" session: journal out all of your thoughts)
  • 5 minutes of visualization (visualize living a day in your dream life from a first-person POV)
  • [Optional] 2.5 minutes of prayer

It's a habit, so I recommend you take a look at Ultimate Power's habit section to get started. Then, if you have any trouble, you can check back here and we can discuss it.

You can also check out the book Lucio recommends, Atomic Habits by James Clear. Or, one of my personal favorites,ย The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

As far as the dating part of your post, Lucius, I'll leave that to Seduction University ๐Ÿ™‚

Lucio Buffalmano and selffriend have reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmanoselffriend