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Sexual dynamics in songs
But women are less bothered by women who are open about their "looseness".
(...)
So they're actually lower competition.
I didn't realise this about openly looser women.
It logically makes a lot of sense.
This means that women are less bothered about prostitutes as well.
I checked out the post on High Quality Women and Low Quality Women.
There isn't a point regarding promiscuity to evaluate the quality of a woman.
What I think is that women can be of high quality at all levels of promiscuity.
I have listened to your audiobook, Dating Power Dynamics.
I may have some important points regarding this.
But a crucial idea from the book is that the madonna-whore dichotomy does not serve both men and women well.
Women will be less sexually open with men and may even lie to men.
An open slut can be a high-quality woman if she respects relationship commitments.
Her openness is actually a good sign.
Some men even like promiscuous women who choose to settle down and commit with them.
The dangerous women are those that play a lot of games and use deception like in the case below:
It's the women who act pious but then sleep with the guy early and make it seem like an exception that are far more dangerous.
It seems like there is quite a fair share of women who use this strategy.
This explains why women shame religious women who secretly sleep around.
I suppose women would also shame other women for lying about their number of sexual partners.
Many pop singers, despite of being wealthy, are actually beta males.
So OP, I wonder if you could share some alpha-male's songs, which correctly reflects the spirits and mindsets of high-quality man, such that I can listen to them everyday and gradually shift my own mindsets.
--OFF TOPIC---
By the way, OP, your blood vessels here indicate that you consistently stay-up late your blood pressure is higher than average
Please do keep healthy as this community badly need you. Feel free to remove the link if you don't want others to see.
"Maria" - Blondie
Debbie Harries, the best of both worlds:
- Feminine
- Empowered
Let's get to the song:
Lyrics
She moves like she don't care
Smooth as silk, cool as air
Ooh it makes you wanna cry
She doesn't know your name
And your heart beats like a subway train
Ooh it makes you wanna die
Ooh, don't you wanna take her?
Ooh, wanna make her all your own?
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
I've seen this thing before
In my best friend and the boy next door
Fool for love and fool on fire
Won't come in from the rain
She's oceans running down the drain
Blue as ice and desire
Don't you wanna make her?
Ooh, don't you wanna take her home?
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
Ooh, don't you wanna break her?
Ooh, don't you wanna take her home?
She walks like she don't care
You wanna take her everywhere
Ooh, it makes you wanna cry
She's like a millionaire
Walkin' on imported air
Ooh, it makes you wanna die
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
Maria, you've gotta see her
Go insane and out of your mind
Latina, Ave Maria
Key Passages
She moves like she don't care
Smooth as silk, cool as air
Ooh it makes you wanna cry
Starts with high-power imagery.
"like she doesn't care" shows zero investment in anyone around her.
Hence, anyone who approaches her is already chasing.
She doesn't know your name
A very strong signal the power is all on her side.
In this seemingly autobiographical song, Debbie is probably referring to herself, the star who meets a (male) groupie, fan, or any random person who happens to know her (while she doesn't know him).
In any case, he knows her, but she knows nothing about him.
She's more popular, has higher status in the venue they met -and, possibly, anywhere else-,
Possibly, she's also achieved more than him or, at least, that's how it is in the power balance between the two of them.
Not by accident two of our early articles were about names and remembering/knowing you:
She's like a millionaire
Walkin' on imported air
Ooh, it makes you wanna die
She acts narcissistic and self-centered.
In interpersonal relationships, people who are into themselves often start higher power.
Latina, Ave Maria
A million and one candle lights
A reference to the sacred, she evokes feelings of both sacred and profane.
Maybe also (unwittingly) hinting at the Madonna-whore dichotomy, the woman in the song is both: an object of sexual desire, as well as on the pedestal of candlelight veneration.
Blue as ice and desire
Blue, associated with "coolness" and "cold detachment" and just to make it clear, adds "as ice".
She evokes desires, she gets interest and investment, but she herself is "cool as ice", so she gives nothing.
In the social and sexual exchange, she's taking without giving, making her power-up, and reducing everyone else who engages with her to a low-power subservient who must make up for the difference.
Could it be a coincidence that Debbie's eyes colors are also blue?
Don't you wanna make her?Ooh, don't you wanna take her home?
Obvious reference to wanting to possess her sexually.
Notice she uses the word "make", rather than "do", which makes the song -and the artist as well- classier.
It's always good for a woman who hints at the sexual to do so in a classier way, as it increases her appeal -and keeps options open for the longer-term side of dating-.
And now, comes the real kicker, notice the change:
Ooh, don't you wanna break her?Ooh, don't you wanna take her home?
The power is all on her so far.
Most low power men who lust after her wouldn't even consider the possibility of getting with her to be realistic.
But the higher power man might.
But even for the high-power men it's a different ballpark and game than with most other women.
She's not like "all other women", and in this case, it may be true.
Or... Is it?
Well...
THAT's the challenge.
Can she be "put back" to her place as a woman, and respect him and his place as the man -and the leader of the relationship?-.
The high power man is used to women wanting him, and wanting a relationship with him.
He's used to begin power up, and wants to be power up.
So he doesn't just wanna bang her, he wants to break her.
Notice that when you train a horse to be ridden safely, you say "breaking a horse".
After you break the horse, you can put a saddle on him and he'll stay in the stable, and obey.
The horse goes from wild and rebellious, to homely.
And what goes for the horse animal, goes for the human animal.
It's the game of dominance/submissiveness.
And when she's broken, she goes from wild and rebellious, to chasing a relationship.
Blondie knows that, and she's throwing the gauntlet.
It's a mixture of sex and power, and it won't end with sex.
After sex, the game becomes "will she become "mine" and start investing, and chasing"? If so, he tames the horse, becomes higher power, and "wins".
If not, she wins -and she'll keep galloping in the sunset, leaving him in the dust-.
The lyrics would have been even better if she had swapped that second line with "wanna make her all your own?", which was going to be even more befitting here.
The Male-Eater, Alpha Female Archetype
Blondie is an incredible and rare mix:
Despite her rocker persona, she's feminine, attractive, and passionate... But seeks and enjoys the spotlight more like driven men do, has the sky high self esteem and condience that is rare in many women, and she's sexually behaving more like a male player.
Even the band dynamics don't leave much to guess as who's the apex artist in there.
Blondie is at the center and the frontwoman of a band where men have support casting roles:
If the word didn't have such bad connotations, we may even say Blondie is the ultimate feminist.
Why feminist?
Not because she may even believe that, but for what she represents to some men -conservative men, in particular-.
The fiery and independent Maria is a challenge to the conservative man, who wants women more like the "real" Maria, a supporting cast member to the real baby Jesus star.
The everyday Marias are best as nurturing and pious -and at home-.
This high power and independent woman is threatening to them, and to their patriarchal world order (Maria is probably not Peterson and Shapiro favorite song :) ).
But contrary to the other wannabe rocker iconoclast Madonna, Maria/Debbie manages to be both a challenge, and a woman you'd like to "make her yours" (who in their right mind would want to be with Madonna instead?).
Maria/Debbie may indeed be the only attractive feminist, too.
She embodies the feminist empowerment by living it -rather than yelling it to the world- and does so in with a positive attitude of lust for life, rather than a confrontational and angry tone.
The Waning Power of The Alpha Female Archetype
Does she now look more like a typical feminist?
Unluckily, the real world sometimes has a thing for getting in the way of beautiful poetry.
In this case, it's time that gets in the way.
The Maria/Blondie archetype is powerful, but it's often more of a snapshot I'm time as it's strongly tied to physical attractiveness.
It's not impossible to transcend it, but it's challenging, and some of that sexual-erotic charge may be lost.
If the Maria/Blondie archetype was a myth, it should probably follow the rocker's parable and die young.
Maybe not by accident Debbie herself had another great song out called "die young, stay pretty".
This is one of my favorite threads in the forum.
A collection of songs/poetry analyses to explain intersexual dynamics and good dating may also be one of my fav books to write.
Anyway, our next song.
Marco Masini is the singer, in my opinion an under-appreciated and misunderstood "true artist".
He’s done several great songs dripping with raw power dynamics, romance, and sexuality.
Warning:
A favorite of mine, and with some very very strong lines.
BUT that doesn't mean any endorsement to the thoughts nad behavior in it. Should be obvious and not needed to say, but in this day and age better to be very clear maybe: unjustified violence sucks. Coercion is for losers and we condemn (doh, feel like an idiot to even having to say that).
Bella Stronza / Beautiful B*tch
Bella stronza.
che hai distrutto tutti i sogni della donna che ho tradito
che mi hai fatto fare a pugni con il mio migliore amico
e ora mentre vado a fondo tu mi dici sorridendo ne ho abbastanza
EN:
Beautiful b*tch,
Who destroyed all the dreams of the woman I cheated on
That made me (fist)fight with my best friend
And now while I go deeper, you tell me smiling that "you've had enough"
Cleary a guy who didn't put "bros before hoes" :).
The "while I go deeper" is obviously a double-entendre of sexual penetration and deepening romance.
She also a somewhat shallower player, a "coquette type".
Bella stronza,
che ti fai vedere in giro per alberghi e ristoranti
con il culo sul Ferrari di quell'essere arrogante
EN:
Beautiful b*tch,
that lets herself be seen around hotels and restaurants
with her ass on the Ferrari of that arrogant prick
It’s the story of what today some guys may refer to “hypergamy”.
She's an attractive woman.
The first “took” the man of another woman and had him fight with his best friend -maybe see also enjoys the power that she can exerts-.
And then cheated on him with a far wealthier guy.
non lo sai che i miliardari anche ai loro sentimenti danno un prezzo
Il disprezzo, perché forse io ti ho dato troppo amore
bella stronza che sorridi di rancore...
EN:
don't know that billionaires assign a price tag even to their feelings
the content - because maybe I've given you too much love
Beautiful b*tch that laughs of rancor
This is where we first see a glimpse how still of a naive idealist the protagonist is.
In his view the super wealthy are poor human beings -a typical defense mechanism. As if one couldn't be tall, handsome, wealthy or whatever... And even an awesome guy-.
Ma se Dio ti ha fatto bella come il cielo e come il mare
a che cosa ti ribelli di chi ti vuoi vendicare
ma se Dio ti ha fatto bella più del sole e della luna
EN:
But if God made you beautiful like sky and sea
what are you rebeling against, who do you want to get revenge on
but if God mad you more beautiful than the sun and moon
This is the refrain
perché non scappiamo insieme non lo senti questo mondo come puzza
EN:
Why don't we escape together, can't you smell how stinky this world is
This is painful to listen to.
His naivete and his belief that there is something purer in her. Something that is only waiting to be unleashed -by him and his poetic soul-.
This is also the dream the adventurer offerer: the escape from a "stinky world" into a fantasy land in a whirlwind romance.
And that works... But only with certain types of women -and even then, you GOTTA be a high value man, or you're just a lunatic :)-.
Not with the more materialistic type he's dealing with.
Or just simply doesn't work with women who love life and enjoy an easy and luxurious life -who don't necessarily have to be "materialistic"-.
So he's building fantasy-castles in the skies.
This woman is having a great time.
So his offer of “escaping together” is truly his own dream, not hers.
Ma se Dio ti ha fatto bella come un ramo di ciliegio
tu non puoi amare un tarlo tu commetti un sacrilegio
e ogni volta che ti spogli non lo senti il freddo dentro
quando lui ti paga i conti non lo senti l'imbarazzo del silenzio
EN:
But if God made you beautiful as a
You can't love a woodworm, you're committing sacrilege
and everytime that you undress don't you feel an inner coldness
when he's paying the bills don't you feel the emberessment of the silence
LOL, no, she doesn't.
He's thinking like a man here.
It would be dishonorable / emberessing for a (proud) man to be paid off by others.
But it's not necessarily so for most women.
Also, he's again jumping to the ego-self-defense conclusion that he must be a bad man.
Or that he's buying her with money only.
He's not considering he may be an awesome guy who also happens to be wealthy.
And that may be HE is taking her in a whirlwind romance of luxury and fun.
perché sei bella bella bella
Bella stronza che hai chiamato la volante quella notte
e volevi farmi mettere in manette
solo perché avevo perso la pazienza, la speranza
Becuase you're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiufl b*tch, who called the police that night
And wanted to have me put in handcfuss
Only because I had lost my patience, my hope
Man, so powerful here.
Turns our, he's also a toxic abuser.
What a twist, eh?
All those "artistic escapes" were in his mind.
He's actually a total asshole, probably high in narcissism as well (many "artists" are).
Also notice how he minimizes his own aggression and how he blame-shifts.
It was "only because he had lost hope" (poor him, who's actually only victim of her).
sì bella stronza...
Ti ricordi,
quando con i primi soldi ti ho comprato quella spilla
che ti illuminava il viso e ti chiamavo la mia stella
quegli attacchi all'improvviso che avevamo noi di sesso e tenerezza
Now he's reminiscing on the romance.
It would be even more painful to hear before we heard of his more vicious streak.
But not it almost feels like "yeah, cut the cr@p now b*tch, she found someone better".
Then refrain again, and now:
esci dai tuoi pantaloni mi accontento come un cane degli avanzi
EN:
Take off those pants, I content myself with the crumbs like a dog
A new twist in the story:
They are STILL seeing each other.
She’s keeping him on the side, and the billionaire.
Maybe the billionaire is doing the same with other women and she can’t fully make him commit.
Or maybe they do have a truly special sexual experience together.
Well, could be a lot of things, and that's the beauty of the song as well :).
And how comes the best passages from any song:
perché sei bella bella bella
It starts with a powerful crescendo that sets the tone for one of the gravest lines one could write:
Mi verrebbe di strapparti quei vestiti da puttana
e tenerti a gambe aperte finché viene domattina
EN:
I get the urge to rip those (redacted)
and keep you (redacted) until tomorrow comes
This bar and the next 2 are incredible.
So RAW and RAW POWER.
He is angry at how he treated him, but also angry at himself for not being able to control her.
And he's still very (perversely) attracted.
He seeks sexual release, but also punishing revenge via sexual aggression.
He wants to unleash his rage and re-establish his dominance and control over her with an act of sexual dominance.
The alliteration, the “tearing apart”, “mi veRRebbe di stRappaRti” in Italian has a lot “R”.
That makes it sound like an aggressive roaring of a lion, perfectly matching the words and mood.
And “puttana” with the consonant/vocal pattern that allows for a loud voice, also matching the mood.
The way he sings, yelling in almost manic and possessed voice and out of breath, is also perfect
The imagery that it conjectures is also incredibly raw and powerful, with the legs opened up in the air.
But here comes now yet again another total flip:
ma di questo nostro amore così tenero e pulito
non mi resterebbe altro che un lunghissimo minuto di violenza
EN:
But of this love of ours so tender and clean
There wouldn't be nothing left but a long long minute of violence
It's as if he's already come now and reflects on the mistake he's done.
That revenge wouldn't amount to anything and would actually taint everything.
There is also a new theme here: he was in love.
And if from one side he seeks total dominance and revenge, from the other he also still wants to cherish and nurse the pain for that love that is gone.
That love that was more about protect and care.
Also the justaxposition of “minute” and “super long”. It contrasts with the previous line of his will to instead keep on “punishing” her until morning comes.
It makes the imagery so real.
You can imagine him taken over by the anger and rage but peaking very quick, and then collapsing nearby, without any word, both lost in the gravity and weight of what just happened, which will for ever be etched in their minds.
The stark juxtaposition is also at a higher level, the two diametrically opposite modes of love and sexuality:
- The drive to raw dominance and total control sublimated in what sounds a lot close to (redacted)
- The almost child-like romantic love that is so deep to go beyond sex. They’re so lost into that romance that even sex becomes “pure” and “clean”
Fantastic song.
And it’s not even over yet...
Now yet onto a totally different playing field.
Power again, albeit very different power:
e allora ti saluto, bella stronza
EN:
So then I tell you "goodbye", beautiful b*tch
The power here is that he instead, ultimately, has the strength to let go.
No more “waiting around like a dog for the leftovers”.
No.
He says goodbye.
And moves on.
The video also shows imagine him with his back turned.
Still lost and deflated, and reminiscing the great love that was.
But now walking towards whatever comes next.
Which is a bit like a life well lived… A string of memorable moments and stories, always getting ready for the next.
