How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text (Real Texts)

Are you looking for ways to flirt with a girl over text?

You have come to the right place.

My name is Lucio, and I have sent thousands upon thousands of texts (plus I’m a psychology nut and hold a master’s in communication).

This article will explain to you all the best techniques on how to flirt with a girl over text.

Flirting Text Messages

Knowing how to flirt with a girl over text is a great skill to have.

It will make you more desirable, more entertaining and, yes, you’ll incidentally also get laid more -not that you were after that of course ;)-.

So let’s start with the top text flirting guidelines -all real-life flirting examples from my phone or FB-.

#1. Imply She’s Into Boys

How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text: example
I bet she does 😉

This is a favorite of mine: great upside and no drawbacks.

Women are smothered by the yoke of having to play “innocent” and feign disinterest in sex and men (Madonna-Whore Dichotomy). Implying they’re into boys (and sex) liberates them by communicating in a flirty style that you “get them”. She lets her hair down, her guard comes down… And maybe later some clothing item will come down too ;).

text flirting with girl example
She doesn’t care… Don’t let all those “Hahah” fool you 😛

#2. Imply She’s Into You

Flirt by telling her she’s so into you or, even better, that you’re worried she is in danger of falling for you.

Her mind is running ;).

how to flirt with a girl example
When in doubt about whether you’re interested in her or in her venture, imply she’s interested in YOU instead ;).

3. Imply She’s Seducing You

Normally, it’s the man who chases the woman.

The rule of thumb indeed is that man aggresses and the woman plays coy.

When you don’t do it too obviously, sometimes women will try to poke you to get you chasing.

But wouldn’t it be better if she was trying to get you instead?

And that’s what you do with top-notch flirting: you turn the tables.

They’re dressing up?
Just right out of the shower?

Don’t take the bait, go texty caveman and show your cards (leave that for later): tell her she’s using all tricks in the books to seduce you instead ;).

flirting with a girl over text example
“Can’t wait to see it”? Dull as F! She’s hellbent to seduce you instead 😉

#4. Turn The Boring Into Exciting

Flirty guys, the lover’s types, don’t dwell on dull stories and negative emotions. They turn the heat on instead. They turn humdrum bore fests into flirty excitement feasts.
And women love it.

how to flirt with a girl over text example
Sprinkle a few SICs here and there but you get the point 🙂

#5. Leave Her Aching for More

And just when fireworks are about to get off and she’s turning into a too-hot-to-handle mess… You pull back.

Women love the mystery, the hints. Don’t spoil it by trespassing into the obvious and crude, but kiss them good night and tuck them up..  :).

women text flirting example

…And guess who they’ll be thinking of when waking up? 🙂

how to flirt with girls

#6. Hint At Sexuality

And here is how you effectively inject sex into the conversation:

sexting with girls
She mentioned bondage first: safe play 🙂

And now the big one. Flirting is hinting at sexual. It’s (technically) not flirting anymore if you’re openly discussing sex.

Rule #1: hints and mystery are sexy, clinical and crude are not.
Rule #2: fully sexual is very risky: proceed with caution.

Exceptions are: she starts it, she sends nudes or she opens up sexually.

Direct sexual flirting works best with:

  • Older women (you’re the toy boy)
  • Online dating (filter in DTF, filter out “no ONS”)
  • Married women (you’re the sexy distraction)
  • MILFs (got the baby already, no time for games)

#7. Hint At Babies Together

Hinting at the product of sex is a unique, flirtatious way of broaching sex as a foregone conclusion between you two.

If you’re talking babies, sex obviously is going to happen.

Of course, use it only when it’s abundantly obvious you’re kidding or it’s not flirting but family planning (and not cool :).

Perfect for:

  • A Tinder match opening message
  • Different “races” where you play the “cute mix card”
  • Somehow black girls seem to love it

#8. Move From Text Flirting to Meet

Flirting is the preamble for something better -and real- to possibly happen. Imagine text flirting as the drumroll. Drumrolls glorify your daring entrance, but If all you do is drum rolling and no cigar, then… Then you might as well shoot the football breeze with your pals.

Be a guy who gets the job done instead: flirt a bit and then go for the “date”.

texting on tinder

To do just that, consider this guide. It’s super cheap for the value it offers.

And Enjoy Text Flirting

Flirting excites us, makes us smile, and cheers us up.
It’s one of life’s pleasures: adopt this mentality and you’ll flirt better.

I love women who can flirt.
Big grin when she implied her private dance would be “too much for me” :).

flirt with women over text
From Russia with Dance Moves, what’s not to Love 🙂

Bonus: These Ain’t Flirting But Cheese

I took a look around before writing this post and I’ve noticed there is some terrible advice from the most popular sources.

Read below what to avoid and in blue why they’re terrible.

I know you’re probably thinking of me, so we might as well text

=I was thinking of you but I’m awkwardly hiding behind a smokescreen. 

We’re breaking up, you’re too much trouble

=”Funny” relationship push/pull. Not the worst, but the sexiest flirts usually avoid any early relationship talk.

And that makes you my third favorite girl to text to

=Good if you’re a teen. Otherwise, it implies you text a lot. And no, implying you text a lot to girls is still not sexy.

You’ll never guess what I’m doing right now

=You’re not doing anything obviously. Except for pondering a cheesy way to contact her, that is.

Any fun / smart way of asking for nudes

=What’s the nudes’ intended use? Because learning how to flirt with a girl over text is about doing stuff in person.


Flirting with a girl is a bit of an art, but follow these guidelines and your text flirting will improve dramatically. And your texts will stand out because any hint at sex is also a huge attention grabber.  

And if she doesn’t text back? Try these techniques or try for the long game.

A parting note: the in-person impression is paramount for effective flirting.
Flirting with a girl over text works best when she thinks you are flirt-worthy… In-person.

No excuse for cheese, but at that point, even average stuff becomes strong text flirting.


Short, effective, and to the point. You won’t need anything else:

texting guide

2 thoughts on “How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text (Real Texts)”

  1. Somehow black girl seem to love it ahah priceless. are you white? how many times have you tried it. best guide Ive seen on the topic thank you

    1. Thank you Anon (I removed an F word from your message FYI). Are you referring to the “mixed babies message?”. Yes I am white but don’t think that the main reason the text works. I’ve been traveling in a few African countries for a month or so and visited a friend of mine living in Guinea. Maybe a hundred or so texts there. Of course there was a difficult to quantify “man from Europe” boost + (white) exotic points, but it was very helpful to skip a lot of “how are you” and neutral texts to jump into heavy flirting. And I also found it to be working great in Europe so it it’s not just a geography thing.

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