Let’s be honest with each other right off the bat:
until he openly says so, or until he takes concrete steps to make thing happens, you cannot be 100% sure whether he likes you or not.
BUT, if you learn to read the signals, you can get a pretty reliable idea of whether he likes you or not.
These 31 signs are good indicators that he does indeed like you.
- 1. He Shows Off
- 2. He Gets Slightly Aggressive
- 3. He Moves Closer
- 4. He Pays You Compliments…
- 5. … Or He Criticizes You
- 6. He Looks For Opportunities to Touch You
- 7. He Flirts With You
- 8. He Makes Fun of You
- 9. He Gives You Lots of Attention …
- 10. … Or He Ignores You
- 11. He Tries to Make You Jealous
- 12. He Gets Nervous
- 13. His Friends Talk to You About Him
- 14. He Badmouths Other Men
- 15. You See Him Often
- 16. He Connects With You On Social Media
- 17. He Likes Your Pictures
- 19. He Remembers And Asks Questions, Or…
- 20. … He Doesn’t Remember What You’ve Just Said 10 Seconds Ago
- 21. He Helps You Out
- 22. He’s Always Free For You
- 23. He’s Jealous of Other Men
- 24. He’s Always Ready to Chat
- Does He Like Me? Yes! When Signs Are Obvious
- Male Signaling
- Focus on Helping Him Like You!
1. He Shows Off
There are many ways men show off, including some very dumb ones:
- They brag about their money
- Buy expensive stuff
- Get aggressive with other men in front of you
- Blast their car stereo out
- Tune their cars
And even drive recklessly to show the size of their… “engine”:
The list of all the stupid stupid things men believe are impressive to women is rather long.
But whenever he does something “strange” in front of you, consider it might be a ploy to impress you and get your attention.
2. He Gets Slightly Aggressive
This might sound nonsense to some women, but some repressed men, not having the courage to speak up, bottle up inside anger and repression.
They can get passive-aggressive or, in a misguided attempt to show dominance over you, speak to you aggressively.
In very young men that aggression can manifest in games where he takes advantage of physical games to hold you or restrain you -a slightly more advanced version of the old “pull her air” kindergarten game-.
3. He Moves Closer
Men who like you will try to reduce the distance with you.
They will sit close to you, press their leg against yours, and find an excuse to hug you
Exception: some will do the opposite and avoid you. Either because they are playing a shunning game or because they are too shy.
4. He Pays You Compliments…
Very simple: if he is complimenting you, he is trying to win your favors.
However some men will try to be less obvious about their compliments, and instead of telling you they like you, they will say they “love your sense of style”.
5. … Or He Criticizes You
Some men will completely try to avoid compliments in an effort to seem higher status.
And they might instead do the opposite and criticize you.
This is a power move to lower your self-esteem that the old pick-up artists called “neg”.
6. He Looks For Opportunities to Touch You
Men who like you will try to make physical contact.
They might touch your arm while making a point or place a hand on your back when they tease you or flirt with you.
When more inexperienced, they will touch you wrong and treat you like one of their male friends.
- High five you
- Shake hands (with too much power)
- Put their arms around your neck like one of the boys
Even though sometimes awkward, men who take a lot of opportunities to make physical contact are sending you a positive message of appreciation.
7. He Flirts With You
Men who are a bit more well-versed with women will find great ways to flirt with you and make you laugh.
- He jokes that you like him
- He hints at the sexual
- He frames you as a “dangerous” woman
- He tells you that you’re trying to seduce them or other men
8. He Makes Fun of You
Making fun of you is a middle way between the “aggression” we saw earlier and flirting (done badly).
The game, at the core, is actually not that friendly: he wants to socially dominate you, lower your status, and position himself above you.
However, it’s still a sign that he likes you.
9. He Gives You Lots of Attention …
Some men make no effort to play the dating game, conceal their cards, or flirt well.
They just put it in your face instead. Not their penis, of course, but their interest.
- Fully focus on you, even with other people around
- Looks at you all the time
- Make you one question after the other
- Listen raptly to your stories
- Drop conversation with others if you enter the group
Sometimes they look slimy in the process. However, with these guys, your answer to the question “does he like me” is pretty obvious: he does.
10. … Or He Ignores You
There is a (terrible) Italian song whose lyrics seemed to tell my story as a teenager.
I pretended not to give a damn
To be more interesting
But now I am really…
That’s what boys will do.
They will ignore you on purpose to play the mind game that they are not interested in the (hopeless) to draw you in and make you pursue her.
If you notice that some men are being a bit too taciturn around you, avoiding you just that little bit too much, then they might be doing it on purpose.
11. He Tries to Make You Jealous
An old game that I bet you played as well.
If he makes a show of him with other women, looks at you while he talks to other women, and generally tries to show off “options”, then he is interested in you.
What he’s doing here is trying to inflate his sexual market value, parading his opportunities and trying to make you chase.
In simple terms: he is showing off for your you and yes he likes you.
12. He Gets Nervous
As much as you wondering “does he like me”, guess what other men are wondering?
Exactly, the exact same: “does she like me?”
However, men are more in the hot seat than women are.
Men are expected to make the first move, ask her out, and make things happen.
That makes a lot of men rather nervous.
So when you spot stuttering, blushing, and nervousness around you, these are all signs that he likes you.
Here is an example from Crazy Stupid Love doing his (awkward) approach:
13. His Friends Talk to You About Him
The last date I went to was with a girl I met at a party of a common friend.
This common friend, believing he would help, started talking me up and telling her what a great catch I was.
He thought that was going to help. He wasn’t really.
But that’s how a lot of (clueless) friends will help you answer the question “does he like me”.
- Talk him up
- Ask you what you think of him
- Tell you that you two look cute
- Suggest you two should go out
- Discredit him
About the last one? Of course, some friends are jealous and aren’t really friends but frenemies. But that’s also a good indicator that he likes you :).
14. He Badmouths Other Men
Now here is another power move men will play when they like you: they will talk badly about the “competition”.
What they are trying to do here is to lower other men’s statuses to look good in comparison.
He is selling himself to you, showing off, and it’s a big sign that he is into you.
15. You See Him Often
Some men are direct, they don’t waste time and don’t beat around the bush.
But some others prefer circling around their prey for longer, entering your mind and your social circle before they even hint at wanting to enter anything else.
This is also the technique recommended by Robert Greene in The Art of Seduction.
These guys might start stopping at the bar where you work, eat where you usually eat, or walk the streets of your commute.
Many years ago I saw a girl I went on a date with.
She was walking across the street though and I was on the other side. Well, guess what? I turned back, ran in the opposite direction, then crossed the street much further away, and then… “Just happened to walk right into her”.
We got together later on and she never knew what I had done.
The point is: if you start seeing them often then coincidence would warrant, then there might be something.
16. He Connects With You On Social Media
Men rarely add other men they’ve just met on Facebook.
But they do often add women they like.
A connection on social media is often a sign that they want to be closer. And not in the digital sense…
17. He Likes Your Pictures
There is a new way for Generation Y and Generation Z to show love and affection.
And it’s to like her pictures and her status updates.
If he comments on your status, knows about your cousins and aunties, and asks you about your last trip, then it’s a clear sign he’s been stalking you. And that he likes you.
19. He Remembers And Asks Questions, Or…
Men aren’t as good as women at remembering people-related details.
And they tend to be selective with their attention. So if they remember what you said and ask follow-up questions, that’s a good sign.
20. … He Doesn’t Remember What You’ve Just Said 10 Seconds Ago
Some men will be too nervous to be talking to you to even remember what you’ve just said.
They will ask you the same question again, ask you clarification about something you’ve just said or forget your name for five times in a row. This is a sign that he is nervous and that he likes you.
21. He Helps You Out
Most men’s main dating strategy is to show women that they are reliable men that you can depend on.
Helping you out is their way of showing that yes, they’re there for you and that they make great long-term partners.
Neil Patrick Harris in the movie “Gone Girl” is an extreme example of how men who want to be providers for her behave:
22. He’s Always Free For You
If he is always available when you ask something it means that either he is a good Samaritan, that he has nothing to do, or… That he likes you.
Most likely the third though.
When men make time for you, they show you that you are a high priority for them. Big sign.
Do you want to be triple sure? Ask him to do something together on a big-match day.
23. He’s Jealous of Other Men
Jealous behavior is a sign of possessiveness and he wants more than just friendship.
It’s not the sign of a very high-quality man to be jealous before the two of you are even together, but alas.
- Says you deserve better than the guys you’re dating
- Gets defensive when other men talk to you
- “Rescues” you from strangers
These are all signs that he likes you.
Most guys don’t want to chat with women they don’t like.
So if he is always happy to answer and chat with you, chances are he is also fantasizing about you.
Does He Like Me? Yes! When Signs Are Obvious
And these are more obvious signs that can almost reassure you that yes, he likes you:
1. He approaches you
2. He asks you out
3. He tells you that “you deserve so much better”
5. He is disappointed if you can’t meet him
6. He tries to get you alone
7. He tries to have sex with you
On average, men are easier to understand and decipher than women.
To answer the “does he like me” women’s question Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, former consultants for the Sex And the City show, wrote a blockbuster book to basically tell women that men are simple and direct.
Albeit they chose a somewhat depressing name with “He’s Just Not That Into You“, the core message is simple: it’s easy to tell if a man likes you or not.
Here is the video from the Sex And the City show that gave birth to that book:
However, as for most things people-related, there are plenty of exceptions in dating.
And some men tend to be less direct and less “easy” to decipher than others.
Often men who make it more complicated for you are:
From these types of men, you can expect less direct messages and somewhat more scrambled communication.
Focus on Helping Him Like You!
Finally, instead of focusing on reading mysterious signs, avoid the mistake most women do: being too passive in the dating game.
Indeed in difficult dating markets the more assertive daters, will win making it easy for them to understand you’re into him. This is a good strategy and the only mistake that can happen is that she thinks her signs are obvious but she won’t catch them.
It happens more often than you think because men are often rather daft.
Then there is the second type of woman.
The who plays hard to get.
Maybe they have read women’s dating literature and get schooled on “feigning disinterest” in an effort to make him chase. This technique can work if he is on a hard pursuit. But it often backfires because men end up with the women who show their liking.
Because men are afraid of rejection. And they prefer to go with women who also like them.
What does that mean to you?
You must make it safe for him to do something: show him you like him!
Smile at him when he looks at you, and create sexually charged moments with silence and eye contact… Touch him while speaking.
Unless he’s completely clueless, then he will know:
Just don’t look at your own hand when you touch him, which screams insecurity, and you’ll do great 🙂